The "beaded collar," (prices vary). Available in the classic "circle/rope" pattern, as well as a few flashier models.

For the nudist biker:

For the nudist Republican:

For the nudist cat lady:

'

"Sheer pants" and matching jacket; $49 and $59 respectively. So that even when your dick's not hanging out, your dick's hanging out.

The "uniwrap" for men, $25. A skirt.

The "sportif shorts" for men, $47. A skirt.

The zippered "Just Bare It" hat, $14. In case they can't figure out your nudism based on nudity alone.

The "intimate area shaver" for men and women, $69. But how do you tote this along with no thong to tuck it into?

The "buckle dress," $49. I knew Dov Charney was in on this somehow.

This week, hooligans targeted a couple of local American Apparel stores over the stores' prominent "Legalize Gay" T-Shirt displays. On Monday, a window at the Silver Spring location was shattered. Yesterday, an anonymous caller informed the Georgetown location that as long as "Legalize Gay" is on display, the storefronts can expect more broken glass.

American Apparel isn't scared.

Following the second threat, Silver Spring American Apparel manager Kassandra Powell told CP that the store had temporarily removed the anti-Prop-8 clothing from its window display. Last night, company spokesperson Ryan Holiday wrote in to say that "Legalize Gay" was there to stay. "The store employee misspoke about taking the display down," wrote Holiday. "[T]hose decisions get made in Los Angeles and we wouldn't want to give into something like this."

In a statement, American Apparel's Jonny Makeup made clear that the two local incidents would only strengthen its marriage equality efforts in D.C. The company will "continue to run Legalize Gay advertisements in papers across DC-Metro area," wrote Makeup. Some Washingtonians may even get some free stuff out of the deal: "We'll also send Legalize Gay t-shirts to any group in Washington DC that is fighting for gay rights,"

* In case you missed it, George H. W. Bush tells a really terrible joke about mean, ugly pro-choice ladies (above). Bill Clinton's response, though: Kinda funny [via Feministe].

* Tiger Beatdown offers a feminist critique of John Updike' classic short, "A & P."

* Who's the hottest Congressional Freshman? (My pick: Tom Perriello, 35, Democrat from Virginia, Romantic Status: Single). I smell slideshow! [via Huffington Post].

* American Apparel CEO / serial "alleged" employee rapist Dov Charney is also very funny, self-aware, and helpful! His latest ad, which features him in bed with one of his female employees, is accompanied by the following text:

Meet Dov Charney. "Women initiate most domestic violence, yet out of a thousand cases of domestic violence, maybe one is involving a man. And this has made a victim of culture out of women."

Yep, "maybe" one, out of a thousand, even involves a man. The rest are domestic catfights between women who dutifully carry on the tradition of clowning each other in order to claim "victim" when they, like, sue their bosses for reaching beneath their neon triangle-top bikinis.

* Related: Don't try to rape a raccoon, it may bite off your penis.

Conde Nast Portfolio gives notorious sex addict and workers' rights advocate American Apparel CEO Dov Charney the profile treatment in its November issue. My favorite anecdote:

This sexual aura has cut both ways for American Apparel. Charney has made his name in part through controversy. He once famously masturbated in front of a female journalist. Charney says the reporter, for the now-defunct Jane, took the masturbation out of context. “I was a younger man,” he says, wearily. “The lines were blurred between paramour and reporter.” The reporter has said that her tape recorder or notebook was in full view at all times and that the relationship was professional.

There are seven pages of this.

Photo by, uhhh, dovcharney.

I find American Apparel to be generally obnoxious on the sex front. I think they have obnoxiously sexual advertising, an obnoxiously sexual CEO, and obnoxiously sexual socks. Often, I silently curse American Apparel's sexy ways, only to look down and find my very own body obnoxiously swathed in an entire outfit from American Apparel. Curse you, you sweatshop-free, vertically integrated, irresistibly sexy clothing company.

One upside of AA's sex-obsessed culture is its generous offering of sexy niche magazines. Alongside their sexy fanny packs and sexier dog t-shirts, American Apparel stocks reads like Butt: The Homosexual Quarterly and Girls Like Us: A Lesbian Quarterly. But(t) at around $10 each, these quarterlies don't come cheap—twenty bucks? That'll almost buy you a leg of a Nylon Tricot High-Waisted Zipper Pant! If you can only have one, check out The Sexist's roundup of their fall issues. (Note: The AA Butt is from Autumn 2008; the GLU, strangely, is from 2007).

Cover Models
-GLU: Edgwige Belmore, "a jack-of many trades: ex-actress, ex-model, ex-singer, ex-junkie, ex-cabaretiere, Hindu devotee, flower arranger and decor stylist extraordinaite—but above all—a very glamorous lesbian and cult icon." [Plus 10]
- Butt: Jake Shears of Scissor Sisters, "the most adorable gay pop star in the word . . . I completely forgot to ask Jake about the band or a possible upcoming album, but we did talk about musicals." [Plus 5]

"In This Issue" Excuse:
- GLU: "features our usual eclectic dose of interviews pictures and archive material to put a wry smile on your face. This issue is almost entirely composed of random lesbianalia which found its way to Amsterdam via the internet" [Minus 1]
- Butt: "Hey, we decided to take a leap and make this a super super super accelerated issue of BUTT magazine with lots and lots of hot pictures and other stuff to masturbate or finger-fuck on. It's a sexed-up BUTT on speed." [Plus 1]

Genitalia Pictured:
- GLU: Zero [Even]
- Butt: 24 penises—17 photographed [Minus 10], seven sketched by deceased pop artist Keith Haring [Plus 20]

American Apparel Ad Count:
- GLU: one [Minus 1]
- Butt: one [Minus 1]

Unnecessary Exposure in American Apparel Ads:
- GLU: one, a female nipple [Minus 1]
- Butt: one, a male testicle [Minus 1,000]

It's a close one, but last year's Girls Like Us, with seven points, just edges out Butt, with negative 985.