What do nudists wear? If this online nudist apparel store is any indication—more than you’d imagine. From what I can tell, nudist attire is clothing which serves a decorative—as opposed to a shielding—function, and generally operates with a clear disregard of genital exposure. It’s also a really good resource for any woman who would like to see a soaring eagle beaded atop her boobs.

The “beaded collar,” (prices vary). Available in the classic “circle/rope” pattern, as well as a few flashier models.

For the nudist biker:

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This week, hooligans targeted a couple of local American Apparel stores over the stores’ prominent “Legalize Gay” T-Shirt displays. On Monday, a window at the Silver Spring location was shattered. Yesterday, an anonymous caller informed the Georgetown location that as long as “Legalize Gay” is on display, the storefronts can expect more broken glass.

American Apparel isn’t scared.

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* In case you missed it, George H. W. Bush tells a really terrible joke about mean, ugly pro-choice ladies (above). Bill Clinton’s response, though: Kinda funny [via Feministe].

* Tiger Beatdown offers a feminist critique of John Updike‘ classic short, “A & P.”

* Who’s the hottest Congressional Freshman? (My pick: Tom Perriello, 35, Democrat from Virginia, Romantic Status: Single). I smell slideshow! [via Huffington Post].

* American Apparel CEO / serial “alleged” employee rapist Dov Charney is also very funny, self-aware, and helpful! His latest ad, which features him in bed with one of his female employees, is accompanied by the following text:

Meet Dov Charney. “Women initiate most domestic violence, yet out of a thousand cases of domestic violence, maybe one is involving a man. And this has made a victim of culture out of women.”

Yep, “maybe” one, out of a thousand, even involves a man. The rest are domestic catfights between women who dutifully carry on the tradition of clowning each other in order to claim “victim” when they, like, sue their bosses for reaching beneath their neon triangle-top bikinis.

* Related: Don’t try to rape a raccoon, it may bite off your penis.

Conde Nast Portfolio gives notorious sex addict and workers’ rights advocate American Apparel CEO Dov Charney the profile treatment in its November issue. My favorite anecdote:

This sexual aura has cut both ways for American Apparel. Charney has made his name in part through controversy. He once famously masturbated in front of a female journalist. Charney says the reporter, for the now-defunct Jane, took the masturbation out of context. “I was a younger man,” he says, wearily. “The lines were blurred between paramour and reporter.” The reporter has said that her tape recorder or notebook was in full view at all times and that the relationship was professional.

There are seven pages of this.

Photo by, uhhh, dovcharney.

I find American Apparel to be generally obnoxious on the sex front. I think they have obnoxiously sexual advertising, an obnoxiously sexual CEO, and obnoxiously sexual socks. Often, I silently curse American Apparel’s sexy ways, only to look down and find my very own body obnoxiously swathed in an entire outfit from American Apparel. Curse you, you sweatshop-free, vertically integrated, irresistibly sexy clothing company.

One upside of AA’s sex-obsessed culture is its generous offering of sexy niche magazines. Alongside their sexy fanny packs and sexier dog t-shirts, American Apparel stocks reads like Butt: The Homosexual Quarterly and Girls Like Us: A Lesbian Quarterly. But(t) at around $10 each, these quarterlies don’t come cheap—twenty bucks? That’ll almost buy you a leg of a Nylon Tricot High-Waisted Zipper Pant! If you can only have one, check out The Sexist’s roundup of their fall issues. (Note: The AA Butt is from Autumn 2008; the GLU, strangely, is from 2007).

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