Your inauguration hook-up will never be as sexy as this artist’s rendering.

In this batch of inaugural-obsessed Craigslisters, we find strange terminology and catty put-downs employed in the pursuit of the historic hook-up. Let’s try to decipher today’s postings, shall we?

* This 56-year-old, who is “in town for the most incredible event of my lifetime,” is surfing Craigslist for “a woman to spend some time with during inauguration week.” He has “no tickets yet,” but is “working on it,” whatever that means. More puzzling, however, are the man’s stats: he describes himself as “SJM, 6′, 195, fit, left of center.” Who would cap a list of physical descriptors with the term “left of center”? Is this reference political, social, or, uh, more intimate? One lucky lady could find out!

Read More “Inauguration Date Round-Up: Nonsensical Personal Ads Edition” »

Rants scrawled on garage doors will not be considered.

Want to get into an inaugural ball, but not interested in this guy? Or this guy? How about these guys? No? That special lady looking to feast on inaugural spoils without playing arm candy to male unknowns can instead use her thinky parts to pen an essay “of any length” about “what the inauguration means to you.” Awww!

Ten lucky winners will receive “[f]ree plane tickets for you and a guest, free hotel, plus tickets to the swearing-in ceremony for Barack Obama, the parade and one of the official balls,” reports Michael E. Ruane for the Washington Post’s “Inauguration Watch” blog.

Winners can, in turn, advertise their inaugural ball tickets on Craigslist in the hopes of securing a random stranger to invite along on the fanciest awkward social situation of the year!

Photo by by and by.