The Washington Post magazine ruins a date before it starts, records political musings of awesome older lady.

Naughty Meanspirited Awesome: They didn’t stand a chance. In last week’s Date Lab, Washington Post’s resident sadists set up “Chrissy,” a 24-year old recruiter, with “Clay,” a 24-year-old farmer. Farmer and “recruiter”—a natural pairing, no?

No. By the time Clay set his eyes on Chrissy, it was clear that no Green Acres sparks would be a-flying. “She looked like a D.C. professional. And she was not fat in any way, but she was heavier than the girls I typically go out with,” he told interviewer Kelly DiNardo. Chrissy’s lifestyle was also a bit heavy for Clay. “I’ve been through the night-life thing. I did it in high school and college. Heavily,” said Clay, who, in his pre-date questionnaire, claimed to be looking for a woman like “Fergie in Black Eyed Peas,” a recovered meth addict.

When asked in a pre-date questionnaire how he is “D.C.,” Clay responded that “a farmer with a Beemer is dynamic in all environments.” When asked how he’s not “D.C.,” Clay responded, “I am a farmer.” Clay also noted that he was happiest “outside, working hard at my farm.”

Chrissy, who is not a farmer, described the remainder of the date. “He graduated with his master’s in agriculture this past May. Now he raises cattle. I’ve never even met a farmer or cattle rancher,” Chrissy said, adding, “I said on my Date Lab questionnaire that I wanted a cowboy, but I was doing that tongue-in-cheek.” Clay countered, “Women like the idea of a cowboy. A cowboy wears a cowboy hat every day. I’m not cool enough to wear a cowboy hat every day. I’m more of a farmer.”

Date Lab notes that “The daters don’t plan to see each other again.” It does not, however, record the number of inter-office high-fives received by Date Lab’s mail opener on the date Clay’s application rolled in. Thanks for taking one for the team, Chrissy.

Nice: XX Files’ “Hot for Hillary,” an essay by self-described “woman of a certain age” Mary Burgan. The title, which makes little sense, Burgan describes her experience working the phone banks during the Clinton campaign—and enduring her husband’s Obama support. “I felt a pull of loyalty, for despite my concerns about her lack of spontaneity and the dullness of her stump speech, I believed that she would be the last and most credible woman in my lifetime with a shot at being president,” wrote Burgan. “Actually, I was a bit surprised to discover how much that meant to me and how angry I could get at men who didn’t see the matter’s extreme importance.”

Burgan allows herself to inject some humor into that premise, though, making a killer Cash Cab joke and several old folks jabs along the way. In the essay, Burgan displayed a certain social grace that Jezebel’s Moe Tkacik found missing from the rheteric of some die-hard Hillary supporters. There was only one point of strangeness in the text, when Burgan says a fellow volunteer at the phone bank told her “There’s a special hell for women who don’t help women.” What, no Palin/Starbucks joke follow up? You’re showing your age, Burgan.

But if the prose doesn’t convince you, Burgan’s mug might:

I love this woman.

* Local transgender America’s Next Top Model contestant Isis King tells the NY Post about her future goals: “[Gender reassignment surgery] is still something I need to do. Financially I haven’t saved up more money since the show. And because I haven’t been working, I’ve been living off my savings. But hopefully the jobs will come soon because that will make it easier to save and finally have my surgery. It’s still at the top of my goals, the very top.”

* Yesterday’s Washington Post date lab, attached Michaeleen plays games with single Steve. “I never did the whole date-lots-of-people thing when I was younger. The man I am seeing is out of town, so he doesn’t know about Date Lab,” says Michaeleen. “I am going to tell [him]. I do believe in being honest and up front.” Two weeks later, Michaeleen’s boyfriend was still in the dark about Michaeleen’s WaPo-funded dinner date. Until now!

* Once but a blog, now a full-fledged ‘zine: The second issue of local fashion/lifestyle magazine panda head is available today.

* Brightest Young Things on last week’s All-City Air Guitar Competition at Wonderland: Fenders replaced with cut-off shorts, DIO shirts, and tighty-whities.

* Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds make it official in a Canadian wedding.

* Tina Fey reprises her role as Sarah Palin on “Saturday Night Live”; Amy Poehler takes on Katie Couric: