Posts Tagged ‘contests’

Give Me Your Best Relationship-Ending Lines

The Relationship-Ending Line: The statement uttered by your boyfriend or girlfriend, casual hook-up or spouse, longtime crush or friend-with-benefits, after which nothing between you could ever be the same. The Relationship-Ending Line is the moment that it becomes clear—whether immediately after the phrase exits your partner's lips, or in retrospect after years of denial—that this [...]

The Worst Pick-Up Lines From Sexist Readers’ Past

Yesterday, I asked Sexist readers for the worst pick-up lines you've ever heard, and boy did you deliver. Your would-be suitors have tried everything from "I'm Tony. I have a dildo this big [holds hands an improbable distance apart] that vibrates in 17 different directions, and when you're done, you can light your cigarette with it" to "You [...]

How To Get Into An Inaugural Ball Without Fucking Somebody

Rants scrawled on garage doors will not be considered.
Want to get into an inaugural ball, but not interested in this guy? Or this guy? How about these guys? No? That special lady looking to feast on inaugural spoils without playing arm candy to male unknowns can instead use her thinky parts to pen an essay [...]