The Washington City Paper’s second Best Of D.C. issue since 1987 hits newsstands today. Since this is our staff’s second Best Of, we’re honoring the District’s second-bests in 2009. My picks—including “Second-Best Strip Club Excuse,” “Second-Best Item of Clothing to Remove at a Gay Bar,” and “Second-Best George Mason Personality” (pictured)—are after the jump.

Read More “City Paper’s Best Of D.C. Issue Out Today” »

Last week, sex columnist extraordinaire Dan Savage gave Rick Warren the Rick Santorum treatment by turning his life into a code-word for a sex act. “Saddlebacking,” named after Warren’s California Saddleback Church, will henceforth signify “the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities.” (Santorum, incidentally, means “The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.”)

City Lights Editor Mike Riggs, a born, bred, and lapsed Florida Christian, explains whether the definition rings true for evangelicals and fundies “looking to skirt rules about sex.” [Hint: they're more into oral].

THE SMILE, BABY GUY (noun).

Origin: Metro stops, Metro buses, sidewalks, major thoroughfares, porches and verandas (in warmer weather).

Generally considered one of the more innocuous permutations of the Street Harasser, the Smile, Baby Guy is nevertheless suitably condescending and often persistent. His tactic is seemingly straightforward: as you pass his field of vision, he will note that you are not smiling, and insist that you smile, generally against your will. He may then insist that you date, kiss, and/or have sex with him, generally against your will.

EXCEPTIONS (1). Tony, a Smile, Baby Guy who lives on my street and with whom I forged the following verbal agreement last summer: In exchange for smiling each time I saw Tony, baby, he would help me move a truckload of my personal belongings into a row-house inside which I had recently rented a third-floor room. He did so.

See also: the Why Aren’t You Smiling, Baby Guy, the You’re Too Beautiful To Not Be Smiling, Baby Guy, and the Smile, Ladies Guy.

WHY I’M NOT FUCKING SMILING: Read More “Don’t Fucking Tell Me To Smile, Baby” »

Welcome back to another edition of Five Minutes* You’ll Never Get Back, City Paper’s sex and politics podcast. This week, City Lights Editor Mike Riggs and I discuss the pros and cons of cinema’s most recent abstinence-only vegetarian tween vampire phenomenon, Twilight. (Our usual cohort, Intern Bobby, gets a pass this week).

Topics discussed: Jane Austen, morality, ballet studio, Pootie Tang, Edward Cullen, Zac Ephron unlike Edward Cullen, Mike Riggs unlike Edward Cullen, feasts of flesh

* okay, ten minutes.

Tomorrow, I’ll be blogging live from spots around the city on City Paper’s homepage. I’ll also be twittering every step of the way. Join the Washington City Paper’s twitter feed—updated live on our website—by tweeting to #dcvotes. See you tomorrow!

Photo by Perla*

Welcome to the new City Paper podcast, “Five Minutes* You’ll Never Get Back.” Each Tuesday, City Lights Editor Mike Riggs and I will go head to head on current issues of sex, media, and politics (but mostly sex). What will you get for your five minutes?

- Sexy/Unsexy, in which we praise, shame last week’s talking points.

- Intern Bobby, in which intrepid City Paper intern Bobby Allyn asks the questions.

- Hess v. Riggs, in which we disagree.

All in a handy downloadable widget! In this, our inaugural episode, spend five minutes with us on modern voyeurism. Topics discussed: Sarah Palin, hair, overseas wiretapping, pillow talk, amateur porn, and Ron Jeremy.

Or, download the podcast here.

* we round down.