Megan Fox, everyone’s least-favorite super-hot chick, gets the New York Times Magazine treatment this week. We all know Megan Fox as that hot sassy vixen who claims to be female-empowered (“I would eat Robert Pattinson”) as she poses in wet bikinis for men’s magazines. And we know that that combination, uh, usually doesn’t go over so well among feminists. But here’s where things get trippy, you guys: Like, is it all an act? And what does it all mean?

Read More “Sexist Beatdown: Megan Fox’s Fake Boobies Find Their Voice” »

The Washington City Paper’s second Best Of D.C. issue since 1987 hits newsstands today. Since this is our staff’s second Best Of, we’re honoring the District’s second-bests in 2009. My picks—including “Second-Best Strip Club Excuse,” “Second-Best Item of Clothing to Remove at a Gay Bar,” and “Second-Best George Mason Personality” (pictured)—are after the jump.

Read More “City Paper’s Best Of D.C. Issue Out Today” »

Okay, Cloon. First, you don’t show at Milano. Then, you hit the Newseum without so much as a text message. Now, I have to learn from TMZ, of all places, that you’ve been coming to Washington to hang with Barack Obama? Ditch the loser, Clooney. My twin-sized second-hand Ikea mattress—luxuriously situated directly on the floor of my group house, underneath a generous pile of dirty clothing—is always open.

COED Magazine has compiled a list of ” all the hottest Twitter-using celebs.” COED accompanies its list with hand-picked “best tweets” from its sharing celebrities. But before you decide to follow the every movement of these famous people, find out how horribly they’ll really clog your feed: Below, the celebrities’ most recent Twitter missives.

Twilight’s Kristin Stewart! (Kbitch): Twitter error message: “That page doesn’t exist!”

Singer/Actress Brooke Hogan! (BrookeHogan): “@Bradshaw27 That’s terrible..You can borrow one of mine if you need to”

Read More “Twitter Stalking “Celebrity Hotties” Even More Boring Than You’d Expect” »

Town Tavern: The not-est ticket in town.

I just escaped from newly minted Town Tavern’s “Bi-Costal ‘Ball,’” a $125-per-ticket party that top-billed special guests from MTV’s “The Hills.” Whither Lauren, whither Brody, whither Audrina and Speidi? (At this point, I’d even take a JustinBobby). As if they’d be showing in this Adams Morgan den of defrosted-shrimp-appetizers before 10 p.m. But that’s okay—in its first two days of operation, Town Tavern has proven that it doesn’t need to deliver the C-list reality show starpower to trade in some pretty serious hype. The Town Tavern is the same bar that’s blown up a bit recently for claiming to turn away men younger than 23, require collared shirts, and deny “unaccompanied” groups of men entrance.

Tonight, the hype stakes were raised significantly. Take a look at the $125 price tag on the ball tickets. Of the two-dozen party guests I surveyed, nobody paid anywhere near that much. In fact, nobody paid anything at all. Nobody! Take this guy, for example:

His name is Romero, and he’s been drinking on the Town Tavern’s dime since 6 p.m.! He indicates that he did not pay anything to get in by forming a “zero” with his fingers! I do the same!

Or how about these guys?

Read More “INAUGURAL CELEB WATCH: The “Hills” Aren’t Alive” »

I was just in the presence of someone who was speaking via cell phone to someone in the presence of Common. The person in the presence of Common was at E Street Cinema to catch a showing of Mickey Rourke comeback vehicle The Wrestler, relayed the person in my presence. The person in the presence of Common was nervous to ask Common if he was truly Common; when pressed, he had Common confirm that he was, in fact, Common.

Confirmed: Common!

UPDATE: Common was busy speaking on his cell phone when the person in his presence ended his cell phone call with the person who was in my presence. The person in the presence of Common stated his intentions to secure a photograph with Common when he got off the phone.

In a stunning reprise of last year’s “possible cougar” sighting on the UMD campus, a man who may or may not be John “Cougar” Mellencamp was sighted at the National Portrait Gallery today. Is this man, who is not facing the camera and could in fact be anyone, the Cougar in the flesh? Twitter tweeter Flyandmighty says yes.

In addition to my Sexist duties, I’ll be covering the stars & bars on this long inauguration weekend. I’ll be busy chasing after the Ritz’s finest and Cafe Milano’s worst starting tomorrow—party reports concerning cast members of MTV’s The Hills are absolutely guaranteed—but I need your help! Catch Oprah re-living Obama and Fenty’s Chili Bowl moment? Spy Clooney delicately sanding the elaborate sex toy he constructed in his basement? Catch SNL alum Kevin Nealon downing drinks at Lucky Bar*? LET ME KNOW.

Send all celebrity sightings to ahess@washcp.com, or tweet your tips to @TheSexist.

* coming soon!

Photo by Joe Crimmings Photography.