Last night on the premiere of MTV's The Real World D.C., eccentric housemate Andrew Woods admitted that he had been fired from his college newspaper for drawing cartoons that were "purposely trying to offend women and lesbians." Lying is kind of Andrew's "thing," so it's unclear whether Woods' editors actually gave him the boot. But Woods' cartoons about alcohol-assisted sexual assault, pedophilia, and nonconsenual anal sex? Those are real real.

Woods was plucked for reality television stardom as an undergraduate at Colorado State University-Denver. There, he served as cartoonist for student newspaper The Rocky Mountain Collegian from as early as December of 2008 to at least March of 2009 (according to the paper's online archives).  Over the course of his career there, Woods drew a comic strip called "Repeat/Delete," which often featured a cartoon version of himself getting involved in various sexual misadventures—like, you know, sexually assaulting women. Let's take a look at Woods' oeuvre:

Hmm. Yes. In this strip, we see Woods' cartoon persona admitting to sexually assaulting an intoxicated woman. It's funny, because Woods is implicating himself as a lecherous buffoon, but it's not funny, because this actually happens to women.

Ah. I see. In this work, Woods' persona takes the form of a pedophile. It's funny because it's . . . hopefully untrue.

His masterpiece. Who could forget the edgy brilliance of "wrong hole"?

Here, Woods assumes his Christopher Walkenesque "skeezy dude" accessories in order to advise students how to seduce women. In this edition of "Andrew's Can Do's," Woods suggest that students "funnel some cheap vodka into half a bottle of sparkling cider . . . as long as it looks like Champagne, she'll drink it!" Woods assumed this character's signature robe and wineglass in his Real World audition tape (hoto above).

In this strip, Andrew thinks that a girl with a pudgy tummy is hot, prompting his friend to declare him "sick." It's funny because girls with fat tummies are gross. This, coming from someone who was instantly declared a virgin when he entered the Real World house last summer.

But what did his contemporaries think?

In his time at the paper, Woods was criticized for his sophomoric humor, grammatical errors, and depictions of sexual assault. One female student wrote that Woods' column "has depicted women as helpless, stupid and incapable of successful relationships"; another student responded that the women criticizing Woods should stop talking.

Thanks to his stint on the Real World, Woods is prepared to silence all the haters. In the premier episode, Woods tells new housemate (and insta-crush) Emily that he's a cartoonist, and that he's intent on getting some of his work published in the District—"maybe in the Washington Post."  Close. Woods ended up interning for the Washington Times, where Woods' signature illustrated rape jokes apparently didn't make the cut. For Woods' work with the paper, he stuck to less controversial territory: an editorial cartoon [PDF] featuring Americans being boiled alive in a bubbling cauldron of national debt.

This Spanish PSA, which warns of the dangers of  "sexting," follows a similar trajectory to domestic anti-sexting initiatives: There's the ill-advised nudity, the mass tween sext, and the shame, oh, the shame. One difference: The Spanish version drops a lot of nipple.

The televised spot follows a sexy Spanish cartoon heroine, who takes a bare-breasted cell phone pic on a whim—complete with exposed cartoon nipples (ding ding ding!)—only to find her cartoon titis land on—where else?—TopTitis.com. As a result, all her tween amigos turn to leprechauns and her familia is paralyzed forever.

While this situation ends up being pretty tragic for our señorita, the overt sexiness of this illustrated sext—cartoon nipple!—may only encourage enterprising young sexters. One danger concerned padres won't have to worry about: In the real world, TopTities.com appears to be—research purposes!—little more than a spam porn site.

While in Mexico over the weekend, I happened across a bargain bin full of over-the-border delicacies: Mexican porn comics selling at 8 pesos each. Behold: Thinking penises! Dialogue I do not quite understand! Women who look like they're not wearing shirts even when they're wearing shirts! From today until Friday, I'll be reviewing the three titles I picked up. De nada, guys.

Title: "Colegialas Ardientes: ¡Orgasmos Anales!"
["Hot Schoolgirls: Anal Orgasms!"]

Distributor: "Aventuras de la Vagina"
["Adventures of the Vagina"]

Plot: Hot schoolgirls gone wild. Lots of boobs.

Sample Dialogue:

Pero la colegiala ardiente, no sólo quería una rebanda del pastel. Se lo quería comer todo completo.
[ But the hot schoolgirl didn't just want a piece of the pie. She wanted to eat the whole thing.]

COLEGIALA: ¡Caray, qué bien dotado estás!
[SCHOOLGIRL: Gee, how well-equipped you are!]

Se lo apretó como queriéndoselo romper.
She took hold of it like she wanted to break it.

COLEGIALA: Sí, Fernando. Qué linda tranca tienes, te lo juro.
[SCHOOLGIRL: Yes, Fernando. What a pretty pole you have, I swear].

FERNANDO: Espera, vamos a hacer las cosas bien.
[FERNANDO: Wait, we're gonna do the good stuff].

El cuarto ardía . . .
[The next room . . .]

FERNANDO: Y sin ropa, las vamos a hacer mejor.
[FERNANDO: And without clothes, we're going to do it better].

COLEGIALA: Tú eres el sabelotodo y eres el que ordena.
[SCHOOLGIRL: You're the know-it-all, you give the orders].

Ya desnudos, se tallaban sus partes con agresiva, pero dulce, libidinosidad. Tremblando de deseo se masturban una ala otra.
[Now naked, they played their parts aggressively, but sweetly, libidinously. Trembling with desire, they masturbated each other].

BURBUJA DEL PENSAMIENTO DEL PENE DE FERNANDO:: Me cae que nunca sentí una vagina tan aterciopelada.
[THOUGHT BUBBLE FROM FERNANDO'S PENIS: It occurs to me that I have never felt so velvety a vagina].

—

SPANISH LESSON: "Tranca" has applications beyond the construction site.

BIEN: Fernando's penis has thoughts.

MAL: Where the anal orgasms at?

DECIDING FACTOR: At the beginning of the comic, "Aventuras de la Vagina" covers its ass by writing, "Todas las historias y sus personajes de esta revista son ficticios," as if this illustrated dirty-old-man fantasy could ever have been based on actual events. Awesome.

GRADE: 3/4 hot schoolgirls. Or "ardent" schoolgirls, depending on your translation.