While in Mexico over the weekend, I happened across a bargain bin full of over-the-border delicacies: Mexican porn comics selling at 8 pesos each. Behold: Thinking penises! Dialogue I do not quite understand! Women who look like they’re not wearing shirts even when they’re wearing shirts! This week, I review the copies I picked up. De nada, guys.

Previously: "Colegialas Ardientes," reviewed; "Golosas del Sexo,"reviewed.

Title: “Historias Eroticas: Lujuriosos apretones ¡de CHICHES!”
["Erotic Histories: Lusters squeezing the BREASTS!"]

Distributor: “Seductora Sexual”
["Sexual Seducer"]

Plot: A married couple celebrates its eighth anniversary by doing it in the car. Then, the husband goes on a business trip, gets drunk with some lady, gets a boner, has sex with her. At some point, a gun is brandished and the lady passes out, but that part lost me.

Sample Dialogue:

José Miguel y Linda tenían ocho años de casados.
[José Miguel and Linda had been married eight years].

Precisamente, venian de festejar aquel acontecimiento con una cena.
[Indeed, they had come to celebrate the event with dinner].

JOSE MIGUEL: Wait. Wait a minute.
[JOSE MIGUEL: Espera, déjate tantito].

LINDA: ¡Que no, Chihuahua! Para eso tenemos nuestra casa.
[LINDA: No way, Chihuahua! For this, we have our house].

JOSE MIGUEL: Anda, dámelo como regalo de aniversario de bodas.
[JOSE MIGUEL: Come on, give it to me for an anniversary present].

LINDA: Humm ... Está bien, Puedes mandarte en poco.
[LINDA: Humm ... Okay, you can take me a little bit].

JOSE MIGUEL: Gracias.
[JOSE MIGUEL: Thanks].

He does.

—

SPANISH LESSON: “Chihuahua": invoke it.

BIEN: Ummm . . . now I know what "chiches" means.

MAL: Boring as hell. Seemingly nothing to do with chiches. Plus, no penis thought bubbles.

DETERMINING FACTOR: Overly long.

RATING: A big cero.

While in Mexico over the weekend, I happened across a bargain bin full of over-the-border delicacies: Mexican porn comics selling at 8 pesos each. Behold: Thinking penises! Dialogue I do not quite understand! Women who look like they’re not wearing shirts even when they’re wearing shirts! This week, I’m be reviewing the three titles I picked up. [Read the first installment here]. De nada, guys.

Title: "Golosas del Sexo: ¡Revienta mis pelotas a sentones!"
["Sweet-tooths of Sex: Burst my balls to (dirty word not in the dictionary)!"]

Distributor: "Textos de Lujuria Y Pasión"
["Texts of Lust and Passion."]

Plot: Sexy tennis player shows the guys at the club her sentones, or whatever. Plus some bisexual sub-plot, or maybe they're just friends.

Sample Dialogue:

Sin dejar de moverse, se metió un par de dedos en la verija. Los metió y los sacó para volver a meterlos y volver a sacarlos
[Without stopping moving, she put a pair of fingers in (what I think is the vagina). She put them in, then removed them, in order to return to put them in again and remove them again].

MUJER: Pobres, me comen con los ojos.
[LADY: Poor men, you eat me with your eyes].

POBRE UNO: Es buena para calentar pitos
POOR MAN ONE: It is good to warm up whistles.

POBRE DOS: Buena no, ¡excelente! Fui . . .
POOR MAN TWO: Good? No. Excellent!

En seguida, se los dio a oler a uno
[Then, she gave it to one to smell].

POBRE UNO: Humm.
POOR MAN ONE: Humm.

Luego, al otra.
[Then, the other].

MUJER: Les gusta?
[LADY: You like it?]

POBRE DOS: ¿Bromeas? Por supueso . . . Humm.
POOR MAN TWO: Are you joking? Of course . . . Humm].

En seguida, paro el culo retadoramente.
[Then, she backed up her ass challengingly].

—

SPANISH LESSON: "Pitos," or "whistles," doubles for "penis." (I think).

BIEN: She backs up her ass challengingly.

MAL: ¿Bromeas? Dialogue leaves something to be desired. Plus, no penis thought bubbles.

DETERMINING FACTOR: Too much sex.

RATING: 1/4 ass cheeks slapped with a tennis racquet.

After six months, Abrams abandoned his fledgling military career, took a job at a local stationery shop, and set to work on his true love: cartooning.

Abrams' cartoons are a lot more interesting than missile trajectories. In one, a woman seductively lifts the front of her dress to reveal a slim, snaking trail of farts. In another, a woman passionately embraces a large, dark fart cloud. In yet another, a grinning fart cloud laughs as it sidles up alongside a scantily-clad woman.

"Since I was in school, I drew ladies around puffs of smoke; smoke from dust, cigarettes, that sort of thing," says Abrams. "That slowly, slowly evolved into drawing fart clouds around the person."

After a while, people began to take notice of Abrams' new muse. "They would be like, 'What's up with all the girls farting?'" says Abrams. "I just think it’s kind of funny," he explains. "I’ve known a lot of females who are embarrassed when they fart. But everyone does it, so I like to laugh and poke fun at it."

Abrams recently published selections from his flatulent women line as a small 'zine titled "Ferzan" (the Old High German word for "break wind"). Abrams says the collection shows how far his fart drawings have progressed over the years. "At one point, I was like, they cant all just be farting," says Abrams. "The fart clouds need to be doing something interesting. So I'll, you know, have a little guy who's fighting a witch with a big fart monster that’s appearing beneath her as she’s flying around."

In addition to his fart line, Abrams also draws a cartoon called "Remake," which follows a "robot boy" who wields a gun with the power to transform objects into random things. "Sometimes he’s a jerk, sometimes he’s really nice, I guess like any of us," says Abrams. "He has a robot roommate named Cardigan. They get into crazy adventures I guess." Abrams says the "Remake" brand of kid shenanigans and offbeat humor is targeted at both adults and older kids. As for "Ferzan"? "That's not for kids, no," says Abrams.

"Remake" can be found at Big Planet Comics in College Park, Md. Both "Remake" and "Ferzan" can be ordered from Abrams' Web site, neo-rama.com.