* Via BLOgT: Even ex-gays are allowed to wear fabulous scarves.

* Feministing points to a Brightest Young Things piece on how some LGBT folks define queer virginity.

* At Tiger Beatdown, Silvana reacts to a piece in the Washington Post about a victim of trauma who built an anti-terrorism career out of her fascination with "evil and violence":

Ironically enough, reading an article about someone else’s fascination with terror caused me to feel a little terror of my own. What if this explained it all? What if my fascination with detention and corrections, and compulsion to fight for people who are locked up, was all a complicated outgrowth of my history of trauma? I was harassed almost every day as a teenager, groped, assaulted, and in my late teens and early twenties raped repeatedly by a boyfriend. I was surrounded by people who had done bad things to me. But instead of being repulsed by criminals, rapists, terrorists, I identify with them. Because, just like women are the sex class, to be the recipient, the dumping-ground for male aggression, men of color and especially mentally ill men of color are the dumping ground for white male authoritarian state-sanctioned violence.

* At Jezebel, Irin Carmon interviews former staffers about The Daily Show's boys club. Head to the comments to read a deluge of defenses of this "progressive" product with a gender problem.

* Tracy Clark-Flory on a man who allegedly hacked into over 100 computers in search of private sex tapes and photos (44 of the victims were underage):

When we come across stories about violations of people's sexual privacy, whether on the news or in our personal lives, there's a tendency to go, Oh, well, that was stupid of them — they shouldn't have filmed that, they shouldn't have taken that photo, etc. And then you feel a bit safer, thanks to your superior wisdom, which tells you that you should not let your boyfriend keep a copy of your homemade sex tape and that you should decline that guy's request for a sexy photo (and maybe you even follow this advice, most of the time). The reality, though, is that precautions—no matter how sensible, no matter how self-righteously we trumpet them—are no match for someone set on exploitation.

Worried that tomorrow's Capital Pride Parade won't be enough sex-and-gender related activity for one day? Pass the time before and after with an ad-hoc sexuality conference by day, and gay balloon dinos on stilts by night:

BEFORE: Kink-For-All Washington D.C. 2, an "unconference" "about the intersection of sexuality with the rest of life." The first D.C. Kink-For-All sailed on Nov. 21, 2009 (you can watch videos of some of the sessions here); the next iteration will be held throughout the day tomorrow. The conference is free for all to attend, but there are rules. Oh: and RSVP here.

Kink-For-All Washington D.C. 2
Saturday, June 12, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
The DC Center
1810 14th Street NW
Free

AFTER:

"Homo Erectus: The Evolution of Pride," a BYT-sponsored, caveperson-themed, Capital-Pride-ending party featuring an eight-foot T-Rex Ice Luge. Need I say more? OK: There's also a balloon dinosaur outfit on stilts. And an erupting DJ volcano booth. 21+ RSVP here.

Homo Erectus: The Evolution of Pride
Saturday, June 12 at 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
Washington Hilton
1919 Connecticut Ave. NW
$25 (pre-sale)

* This weekend, kick off the D.C. Capital Pride festivities with a leather lesson:

''People might think this is corny or not as serious, but providing an educational day on safe play is primary to the weekend as well,'' says Michael Sessa, founder of the event and president of The Center. ''A lot of people think it's funny, cool or kinky to be in the leather community, but they don't know what the hell they're doing, and that can be dangerous."

* Via Violet Blue: Finally, all your erotic pretentious bicycling fantasies have come true: It's fixed-gear porn.

* I love Lynsey G.'s McSweeney's column, "The Conflicted Existence of a Female Porn Reviewer." Recently:

But ah, there's the rub, that one little word: good. Alas, despite the prettiness of the sex being had by porn "lesbians," very little of it looks remotely good to me. As a woman who knows what she wants from sex, it's easy for me to tell that in most of these scenes, the so-called "lesbians" are not feeling very good at all. Because they're doing it all wrong! For instance: a little pat down there with one finger wouldn't get much of a reaction from the women I know, yet these ladies seem to need little else to get them going. Sucking on a fake phallus, as these women so eagerly do in most scenes, would likewise not do much to get most lesbians going: the only exciting thing about giving head (to a man or a woman) is the other person's response to it—the knowledge that you're turning that person on. The physical act of fellating is pretty neutral. But these girls sucking on a glass dildo and moaning in ecstasy? No. It makes me roll my eyes and fast forward because it's neither convincing nor arousing.

* Nerve trolls for sex advice from fans of professional wrestling:

What wrestling moves could you bring into the bedroom?

The Lou Thesz press — which, according to Mick Foley, could just as well be called the "dick to the face" — is a candidate, but you probably have to make sure it's okay before you bust that one out. Although wrestling often hilariously resembles intercourse, most of the moves are either mundane or "don't try this at home."

* Brightest Young Things'  high-school interns write about their proms. Prom update, for those juuuust a few years out of high school: They still have chocolate fountains there, but now the limos are stretch hummer. Kids these days.

Photo via boothekolt, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

Brightest Young Things introduces us to "the worst hip-hop group ever": "White & Crazy Kids." How crazy are they? So crazy, they just might black out and rape somebody. With an impressive one-two-punch, the worst hip hop group ever may have created the douchiest date rape song ever. It's called "Get Your Drink On." Let's take a listen.

Date Rape Anthem: White & Crazy Kids' "Get Your Drink On." I really don't want to make you go over to their Web site, but I think you have to listen to it here.

Relevant Lyrics:

Swallow the bottle til it's hollow
Get your drink on, get your drink on, baby get your drink on
Blacked out getting head from a fat chick
Get your drink on, baby get your drink on
In your car doing 80 in a 40 zone
Get your drink on, get your drink on
Waking up with a chick that you don't know
Get your drink on, get your drink on

. . . As soon as I black out, I act out
Find me at the bar because I'm buying all the [unintelligible]
Four a.m. come around, I'm gettin' kicked out.
Five a.m. come around, I'm pulling my dick out.

Why It's So Rapey: With songs like "First I Get My Cup," "Drinking is Guaranteed," and the jazz-infused douche jam "Feelin' It," these guys make Asher Roth look like a feminist musical genius.

"Get Your Drink On" is a lot like Roth's "I Love College," actually. But instead of Roth's safe-sex message—"when it comes to condoms, put two on"—we have the White & Crazy Kids boasting about having "no condoms on." And in place of Roth's date-rape warning—"don't have sex if she's too gone—we have this: "Patron 'em up, and they get down to blowin'."

I suspect that "Get Your Drink On" was concocted in a laboratory by anti-date-rape advocates looking for the perfect pop culture antidote to alcohol-assisted acquaintance rape. After hearing the White & Crazy Kids rap about passing out in cars, not remembering having sex, and hooking up with chicks who go to Arizona State, would-be date rapists can come to only one conclusion: Rape is the douchiest thing in the world. If you don't want to be a douche, don't do anything these guys "rap" about.

On the Hierarchy of Date Rape Jams, "Get Your Drink On" scores a zero sweetness score and a zero positivity score, making it, in fact, the douchiest song about date rape. Ever:

* Yesterday's Washington Post date lab, attached Michaeleen plays games with single Steve. "I never did the whole date-lots-of-people thing when I was younger. The man I am seeing is out of town, so he doesn't know about Date Lab," says Michaeleen. "I am going to tell [him]. I do believe in being honest and up front." Two weeks later, Michaeleen's boyfriend was still in the dark about Michaeleen's WaPo-funded dinner date. Until now!

* Once but a blog, now a full-fledged 'zine: The second issue of local fashion/lifestyle magazine panda head is available today.

* Brightest Young Things on last week's All-City Air Guitar Competition at Wonderland: Fenders replaced with cut-off shorts, DIO shirts, and tighty-whities.

* Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds make it official in a Canadian wedding.

* Tina Fey reprises her role as Sarah Palin on "Saturday Night Live"; Amy Poehler takes on Katie Couric:

Don't pre-emptively tell me you have a small penis.

Don't text me on a Tuesday night after midnight "I could totally eat ur puss now if u r interwssetted." I'm not.

Don't ask if it's okay to fuck me up the ass because you don't have condoms and are "scared" of getting me pregnant.

*Jill at Feministe adds her own dating don'ts:

Don’t tell me, on a first date, about the time you pooped your pants on the Jenny Jones Show when you were performing the commercial outro with your Rick James cover band. Don’t tell me that on a tenth date. Just keep that one to yourself.

* Protesters stage bed-in on steps of Capitol:

Kayne West's "Gold Digger" blared from the steps in front of the Capitol Thursday as protesters dressed in bathrobes and slippers danced around a bed and threw money. Oil Change USA came to speak out against government's "all too cozy relationship" with oil companies in the wake of the sex-and-drug scandal reported last week by the Interior Department inspector general. "Literally in bed with big oil" was the theme of this protest, noted with their prop of a man and woman laying in bed together, surrounded by money [via Examiner].

Catch up on the Minerals Management Service scandal here.

* Via Feministing: Bitch Magazine was going to have to fold, but now they're not. You can still give them money, though.

* Brightest Young Things points you to Seattle's bikini baristas:

Baristas in spike heels, lingerie, fish nets and other skin-revealing attire are attracting long lines—and large tips. . . . When servers started wearing pasties at a shop called Espresso Gone Wild west of Seattle, however, some residents decided the caffeinated provocateurs had taken it too far. [via NPR]

* Aaaand, drum roll: Fish swims into penis.

The Post did its best to satisfy Franklin's taste for the "exotic": Her date was Jay Singha, 23, a self-described "6-foot, loud Indian." Check out Franklin's first impression of Singha:

[The hostess] introduced us. [Jay's] family is Indian so [he has] darker skin, dark hair. He's not a bad-looking person, [but] he's not someone I probably would have been drawn to. Usually [I like] more of the East Asian, Japanese or Korean kind of thing. Or Spanish. But it takes me a little while to know if I'm attracted or not.

Looks like Franklin's only open to the "different kinds of people" who fit her particular craving for exoticism. Give me East Asian, Japanese, Korean, Spanish, British—whatever. South Asian? No thanks. After the date, when Singha "invited her to a party," was Mary really "working"? You be the judge.

Nice: John over at Brightest Young Things has an interview with Shea Van Horn and Matt Bailer (along with a great photo spread by Shervin Lainez). Van Horn and Bailer are the DJs behind Mixtape, a new monthly alternative gay dance party at Eritrean restaurant Dahlak. The mainstream gay nightlife scene in D.C. is well-documented; BYT does well in highlighting the dearth of alternative options in the District:

“I can’t be the only person who wants to dance to a little Italo-disco or acid house or early Wax Trax! recordings. But, I’m not hearing that anywhere,” says Van Horn, a local DJ and performance artist best known for spinning local alternative queer parties at places like the DC9. . . . “[Alternative events] Taint and Homo/Sonic fill up just two nights per month, at best,” says Van Horn. “That leaves 28 other nights when the alt-gay crowd is stuck with Madonna-rama.”

* In an interview with the Blade, comedian Margaret Cho calls Sarah Palin the "worst thing to happen to America since 9/11."

* The New Gay, which already has a gay male comic strip, Curbside, has added a sister comic: Lefthanded Lesbians by Mag.

* Feministing finds an extremely disturbing McCain/Palin t-shirt that gives new, somehow even creepier meaning to the phrase "Drill, baby, drill."

* Unrelated, don't care: McSweeney's remembers David Foster Wallace.