The Washington City Paper isn't the only journalistic outlet failing to think of The Children by refusing to censor a slang term for "oral sex." Blogger Marcy Wheeler was also not thinking of The Children when she appeared on MSNBC to discuss a possible C.I.A. probe, In a segment that was sure to be a big draw for tots, Marcy Wheeler said "blow job."

Quick! Send in Post media reporter Howard Kurtz to explain to us what it all means. Oh, crap—in weighing in on Wheeler's failure to think of The Children, Kurtz . . . failed to think of The Children.

Though Kurtz's columns tend to refer euphemistically to the improper language employed by lesser journos, Kurt's Twitter feed, it seems, has less stringent standards. Check out his tweet about the piece he wrote on the hullabaloo over the City Paper's recent oral sex headline:

So . . . Kurtz wrote a story about a newspaper which published the word "dick" in a newspaper which does not allow Kurtz to publish the word "dick," then circulated the story by using the word "dick"—twice.

I guess it doesn't matter what words you use, as long as they weigh in under 140 characters. If my calculations are correct, that affords us about 15.5 "blow job"s. Blow job!

Today, Post media columnist Howard Kurtz tackled the popular outcry over the Washington City Paper's Marion Barry "You Put Me Out In Denver 'Cause I Wouldn't Suck Your Dick" cover line. Some readers, Kurtz wrote, found the headline's final "three-word phrase" vulgar, obscene, and even racist. The Post declined to print the phrase, but I'll give you a hint: it ain't "Out in Denver."

Kurtz went on to contextualize CP's stories with a recap of Barry's past highly-publicized sex scandals:

This is, after all, a former mayor who was busted for cocaine possession in 1990 with a woman not his wife—uttering the immortal phrase "Bitch set me up"—and two years later was found to have received oral sex from a female visitor at a Virginia prison (a conclusion he disputed). In the current flap, the Ward 8 lawmaker gave Watts-Brighthaupt a $60,000 council contract while they were dating, then was charged last weekend with stalking her after a fight, although charges have since been dropped.

But the Denver story is, by definition, not another Marion Barry sex scandal. It is a Marion Barry not-sex scandal. The story isn't a quasi-pornographic account of a Councilmember getting his dick sucked by a campaign staffer. It's about what he did to her when she refused to suck his dick.

Here's what Marion Barry did to a campaign staffer when she refused to suck his dick:

“You put me out in Denver ’cause I wouldn’t suck your dick,” Watts-Brighthaupt yelled at Barry, according to a tape recording of the conversation.

Watts-Brighthaupt was referring to an incident that had occurred about 10 months prior, at the Democratic National Convention. At the time, Watts-Brighthaupt was working on Barry’s ultimately successful re-election campaign and traveled to the Barack Obama-crowning affair. For reasons that remain murky, she ended up assigned to the councilmember’s hotel room in the Crowne Plaza hotel. Once behind closed doors, Barry allegedly asked Watts-Brighthaupt to perform oral sex on him. She refused, whereupon Barry threw her clothes out of the room and barred her from coming back in. She slept in the hotel’s parking garage, in a Cadillac Barry had rented.

No, this is not another story about Marion Barry trying to get some, bless his heart (as one commenter wrote, "At least he still has blood rushing through those veins"). This is a story about the misogynistic, abusive behavior of the councilmember from Ward 8. Watts-Brighthaupt's subsequent year-long on-again-off-again fling with Barry—the barefoot casino fights, the crazy voice-mails, the money promised to a woman suffering from the physical and financial strains of her cancer treatment, the arrest for stalking—speaks to a pattern of psychological abuse.

As we all know, an elected official receiving a blow job from a staffer qualifies as news to most media outlets. Shouldn't the way our elected officials treat women—and their employees—be newsworthy to us, as well?

Still think "suck your dick" is vulgar? Obscene? Indecent? Express that sentiment to Marion Barry, and you would be out on your ass, sleeping alone in a Denver parking garage in a rented Cadillac.

They came, they researched, they let us in on a "little secret". Now, "CockBibs," the first novelty item for keeping your genitals creepily dry, are officially available for sale. And the Inventor of the CockBib has reached out to the females to let them know that CockBibs are for us, too (and certainly not offensive to anyone!). A notice on the Web site reads:

***Attention*** We apologize for any misunderstanding in regards to our appreciation for women as it relates to them orally pleasing us men. We love and have the utmost respect for women. The CockBib is just our attempt at creating a fun and humorous novelty item. It is not our intent to offend or disrespect anyone. Thank You! :)

No, CockBib. Thank you.