Capitol Pill is a new feature which tracks contraception access in D.C. pharmacies.

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Planned Parenthood’s Schumacher Health Center, 1108 16th St. NW.

This 16th St. clinic, a stone’s throw from the White House, is the area’s leading source for affordable women’s health care, birth control, and abortion services. For the same reasons, the center falls victim to the largest unofficial barrier to contraception access: The “sidewalk helper.”

Roshan Anthonypillai, who fills a weekday 8 to 9 a.m. shift at the clinic, is dedicated to helping women who come to Planned Parenthood seeking to terminate their pregnancies. But Anthonypillai works as a different sort of abortion counselor; he is a representative of “40 Days For for Life,” a national anti-abortion campaign that has organized activists in 170 cities to hold vigil outside abortion clinics from Sept. 24 through Nov. 2 this year. Every day before work, Anthonypillai stands on the sidewalk outside the clinic, holding rosary beads and guarding a few trinkets arranged at the trunk of a tree: a small makeshift crucifix and a paper bag luminary adorned with a red cross.

“By standing here, I think I’ve convinced two to three women not to have an abortion,” says Anthonypillai, a 35-year-old Ashburn resident and a Catholic. Volunteers report those numbers back to 40 Days, which keeps a tally of saved lives; the campaign claims to have stopped as many as 268 abortions nationwide this year. Many more women, Anthonypillai says, have made the wrong choice. “Every young woman that I’ve seen, personally, coming in here, is coming to get an abortion,” he says of the clinic, which also offers gynecological exams, STD testing, and birth control. The clinic, meanwhile, keeps tabs on people like Anthonypillai: It staffs escorts to shield patients from protesters and sends visitors through a metal detector before letting them into the waiting room, where no cell phone use is permitted.

A little after 9 a.m. brings the changing of the abortion clinic guard; Anthonypillai hands off duties to Sarah Smith Bartel, a Hyattsville graduate student who arrives with her two daughters, Clare, 4, and Kate, 2. The girls take turns sipping from a thermos of hot chocolate as their mother explains her position. I’m trying to offer these women the right choice, one that recognizes the true femininity and essence of womanhood,” says Smith Bartel. “And, of course, preserves the life of the unborn child.” But though Anthonypillai is happy to head off to work, he says he has no plans to suspend the vigil come Election Day. “I’ll still be here, praying,” he says.

KNOCK-UP RISK: Depends on the shift.

Capitol Pill is a new feature which tracks contraception access in D.C. pharmacies.

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Grubbs Care Pharmacy, 326 E. Capitol St. NE

This neighborhood Capitol Hill pharmacy, run by owner-pharmacist Michael Kim, stocks the whole shebang—birth control, emergency contraception, and the abortion pill. Plan B even comes a bit cheaper here than at your corner CVS, at $41 to CVS’ $50. Abortion-inducing medication is available with a prescription and in-stock; a call to the pharmacy last week found that it will order the pill, and carries Misoprostol, a drug that is approved by the FDA for gastric ulcer treatment, but which can be prescribed off-label for use as an abortifacient.

KNOCK-UP RISK: Capitol Hill trysts that begin loudly at Tunnicliffís may end, discretely, at Grubbs.

Capitol Pill is a new feature which tracks contraception access in D.C. pharmacies.

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Foer’s Pharmacy, 818 18th S. NW.

Just blocks away from the sexually promiscuous real estate of the George Washington University, Foer’s Pharmacy is in the position to make bank off baby prevention. And though Foer’s displays strange bra-and-stocking-clad mannequins in its front window, its contraception options are less exciting. A Foer’s rep says the pharmacy fills birth control prescriptions and stocks Plan B over the counter. But if preventive measures fail, coeds looking to abort should look elsewhere: Prescriptions for abortion pills will not be filled, said the staffer.

KNOCK-UP RISK: Better start saving for their 529’s, just in case.

Capitol Pill is a new feature which tracks contraception access in D.C. pharmacies.

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CVS, 1702 Columbia Rd. NW (and various).

This D.C.-dominating chain addresses the birth control question as it does all things: with impatient efficiency. “Yes, yes, yes,” said the pharmacist on call at CVS’ Adams Morgan location when asked about birth control, emergency contraception, and abortion pills. Plan B will run you up to $50; abortion pills such as Mifeprex, which induces contractions to terminate pregnancy, are available with a prescription but could take a few days to stock if not currently on shelves. Condoms, 48 varieties of them, are offered up like vending machine candy bars: Push button, pull lever, remove product.

Mike DeAngelis, public relations director for CVS, explains the chain has a “policy to fill prescriptions for all legally prescribed medications,” including birth control and emergency contraception. (Though the FDA approved over-the-counter sale of emergency contraception in 2006, a prescription is still needed for patients under 18 years old). However, Joe Pharmacist can opt out of filling your pill prescription. “Under federal law and some state laws, we must also accommodate a religious conviction that may prevent a pharmacist from dispensing a medication,” DeAngelis says. Under that circumstance, however, “other arrangements can be made in advance to ensure the customer’s prescription needs can be satisfied.”

KNOCK-UP RISK: Low, low, low. Next.

Capitol Pill is a new feature which tracks contraception access in D.C. pharmacies.

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Cathedral Pharmacy, 3000 Connecticut Ave. NW.

If the name weren’t enough to tip you off, lead pharmacist Paul Beringer is happy to let you in on Cathedral Pharmacy’s contraception policy: “Depends.” Beringer says he fills birth control prescriptions “sometimes,” according to “the pharmacist’s discretion.” In Beringer’s 46 years at Cathedral Pharmacy, he’s had to use a lot of discretion. “You know, if a 14-year-old kid comes in, I don’t think I would fill the prescription,” he says. “If it was a legitimate prescription, yes. But if it looked in any way shady, no.” But emergency contraception—a pregnancy prevention pill taken after sex that is also known as “Plan B”—isn’t left to circumstance. “I consider it abortion, and I’m pro-life,” explains Beringer, who says his emergency contraception discretion extends to all pharmacists at Cathedral. “They follow my instructions,” Beringer says. “We don’t even stock it.”

KNOCK-UP RISK: Sex will lead to pregnancy, sometimes.

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Tomorrow, a new Sexist project debuts: “Capitol Pill.” Capitol Pill surveys local pharmacies about their availability of birth control, emergency contraception, and the abortion pill, then charts them on a map of the District. In each installment, I’ll highlight a new pharmacy and rate it based on its friendliness toward providing contraception.

The project was inspired by last week’s grand opening of the the Divine Mercy Care Pharmacy, a Catholic-run outfit in Chantilly, Va. that offers natural family planning primers in place of condoms, birth control, and pornography. With the opening of the new pharmacy, Chantilly joined six other cities recommended by Pharmacists for Life International, including the yokel meccas of Hialeah, Fla., Richmond, Ind., and Superior, Neb. But I’ve found that drug-seekers looking to support a culture of life needn’t travel to Chantilly to be denied their one-a-day pills. Even though godless, liberal Washington, D.C., is a center of pro-choice activity, its local pharmacy offerings don’t always jibe with legislation.

Stay tuned to find if your local pharmacy will dispense moral posturing in place of the patch, neglect to stock emergency contraception in time to stave off conception, or shudder at the sight of your abortion pill prescription.

If you have any suggestions for additional pharmacies to look into, please drop me a line in the comments.

The Washington Times (manlier than Washingtonian!) announced today’s opening of Chantilly’s newest pharmacy:  The Divine Mercy Care Pharmacy. But unlike other local pharmacies such as CVS and Rite-Aid, the DMC pharmacy caters specifically to the pro-life set. “[T]here will be no birth-control pills, condoms, cigarettes or pornographic magazines” at DMC, writes Times reporter Julia Duin. “There will, however, be booklets on natural family planning.”

The executive director of Divine Mercy Care, Robert Laird, notes that the absent items won’t affect the DMC’s mission of “Bringing the Healing Presence of Christ through Healthcare” because, well, “Birth control is not health care.” Cigarettes and porn mags: also not health care.

Laird added that the pharmacy will be “catering to a special niche of people who like the pro-life message in their business.” Laird says the DMC will neither fill a birth control prescription nor direct customers to another pharmacy that might help them.

The Post wrote its own story about the pharmacy back in June.