* Via SAFER Campus, Iowa's Grinnell College has responded to concerns about racist and misogynistic views expressed by students at a jello-heavy, cunnilingus-themed party. The upside: This is not the last time "cunnilingus" will appear on this blog today!

* Former Politico scribe Helena Andrews pens an essay about her frustration at only being set up with black men:

"I've got a guy for you. He's so hot, it's perfect." It was the spring of '08 when Maureen Dowd, the Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times columnist, decided to take it upon herself to find me a man—specifically, Reggie Love, Barack Obama's "body guy" (read: personal aide). Standing outside the auditorium in Philadelphia where Obama the candidate had just given his loaded race speech, I thought to myself, How could a woman I'd helped with a computer problem once as an assistant at the Times spot the man for me? "Don't be silly," she said, when I demurred. "My assistant will set it up."

. . . It was clear that Reggie and I had just two things in common: We're black and we have bachelor's degrees.

* Fishbowl D.C. then dispenses white editor Betsy Rothstein to mock Andrews for pointing out the racist undertones of a white woman she barely knows declaring her a "perfect" fit with some guy, because they're both black. Rothstein concludes her mockery by pointing out that Andrews was once photographed next to a black dog. A commenter responds: "Maybe you guys should stick to wishing white folks happy birthday."

* Even Bill O'Reilly thinks drawing conclusions about sexual orientation based on former softball involvement is ridiculous:

[youtube:v=kSyOEnerVQc]

* Via Feministing: Newsweek on why Yeardley Love "couldn't have gotten a restraining order if she wanted to."

Photo via stevendepolo, Creative Commons License 2.0

When Laura Ingraham covered hosting duties for Bill O'Reilly on the O'Reilly Factor last week, she sought out to answer the age-old question: Why do feminists hate Sarah Palin so much? Hmm—I can think of a few reasons. The resulting discussion between Ingraham, Washington Post columnist Sally Quinn, and Republican pollster KellyAnne Conway produced some pretty interesting theories. Let's check them out:

Theory #1: We hate her because we're childless spinsters.

CONWAY: I think of some of the spinster childless columnists who have attacked this woman for her right to choose . . .

INGRAHAM: Can you name names?

CONWAY: . . . and have five children. There are too many to name and then it would make them relevant on such a great show.

INGRAHAM: Spinster columnists, OK.

—

Theory #2: We hate her because Todd is cute.

CONWAY: . . . I think she makes some women feel inadequate because she has five children, no household help. Not only is she not anti-man, but she has, as we could tell, a supportive husband and father.

INGRAHAM: And cute, too. He's real cute.

CONWAY: . . . the extended family. He's cute to go.

—

Theory #3: We hate her because Palin lost weight after having the 5th baby we never had because we were too busy being childless spinster abortionists without cute husbands:

CONWAY: . . . And look, she lost all her baby weight. It makes some women crazy. They've got 1.3 children and a Pilates schedule they have to keep, and it makes some of them crazy.

QUINN: . . . Well, let me just say first that she has a point about people being jealous about her losing her baby weight. I have to say.

NGRAHAM: OK, we've gotten that out of the way.

CONWAY: But you did too, Sally.

INGRAHAM: I got that.

QUINN: No, I'm crazed about that.

INGRAHAM: Right.

QUINN: And I have to admit it right here.

INGRAHAM: You've always been fit.

QUINN: Yeah.

INGRAHAM: So we're not going to hear that from you.

—

Theory #4: We hate her because she's a woman:

CONWAY: And look, I just want to say this, that with Palin, she looks so feminine. She acts like a woman, but governed like a man.

—

Theory #5: We hate her because we're jealous that she's pro-life:

INGRAHAM: Admit it right now. Palin is hot. She is pro-life. She shoots. She hunts. She has a big family. And all these feminists are like just seething with jealousy about it.

—

Theory #6: We hate her because she is against everything that we stand for:

QUINN: . . . I have to say that of all the people I know, I don't know a single person who feels jealous about her. I think that most of the people I know who are not Sarah Palin fans just don't like what she has to say.

Photo by lifeisaprayer, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

1. Indiana Bestiality Law Cracks Down on Deleted Dog Porn, in which you guys are all sick.

2. Menacy to Sorority, in which identity politics bravely marches on.

3. GLB Against T, in which the gay bar is not safe.

4. The Great Mexican Cartoon Porn-Of Concludes, in which, porn.

5. Bill O'Reilly's Creepy Dirty Talk Recordings, in which you may never get "she obediently performed oral sex on him" out of your head.

Photo by Pat 9298

O'REILLY & GRETA & BRISTOL, OH MY! O'Reilly weighs in on the Bristol Palin / Levi Johnston fallout: MSNBC "incredibly viscious"; "disturbed individuals egged on by . . . the Air America on the radio."

BONUS: Greta downplays O'Reilly's characterization that she is "close to the Palin family," sayinh, "The only way that I've met them is by interviewing them. I don't socialize with them or spend a lot of time with them."

Greta goes on to chastize journalists who are "gushing with glee" to her at the news; O'Reilly says, "nobody would do that to me."

PALIN POLLIN' IOWA? The Mudflats heard tell of some peculiar robocalls fielded in Iowa and New Hampshire. The recording went a little something like this:

I wanted to let you know that I just received an interesting phone call.  It was an automated poll and it asked the following questions:

1. Do you have a favorable opinion of Sarah Palin?

2. Gov. Palin thinks A, B, C, D & E do you agree with Gov. Palin?

3. Do you feel it is important that Gov. Palin is reelected as Gov. of Alaska?

The Iowa Independent weighs in on the premature polling:

Notably, some of the governors whose names are mentioned as possible candidates will have to decide whether to run for reelection in 2010.  Put Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty and Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal into that category with Palin.  The three of them might find it awkward to run for reelection as governor with all of their state’s voters asking whether they still even want the job.

WHO COMMISSIONED THE POLL? It's not clear yet, but the Independent ventures it ain't Palin:

This far out from an election, polling is very difficult, and anybody who is considering running for president might find the results of a poll about Palin more useful than a poll about themselves.  If a recorded voice called you up and started asking whether you thought Pawlenty should run for reelection as governor, would you even know whom it was talking about?

SUCK IT, JINDAL: Alaska's Mount Redoubt erupts, "spews ash and steam to 50,000 feet"; ash cloud possibly heading toward Anchorage.

CONSERVATIVE PAPE NAILS PALIN: The Alaska Standard reviews Palin's Anchorage Lincoln Dinner speech, wherein the Governor complains about media criticism during the election (again) and compares herself to Abraham Lincoln (for possibly the first time):

[Palin] spent the bulk of her speech talking about tearing down and critics, but nothing about the economic future of the state. She announced what the personal financial cost of her “open and transparent” has cost her to avoid being open and transparent. As a matter of fact, only one person spoke of issues greater than self with any conviction and clarity, and that person is the clear face of the Alaska Republican Party: Lisa Murkowski.

Alan Scherstuhl at the Village Voice has unearthed the audiobook recording of Bill O'Reilly's lost 1998 novel, Those Who Trespass. For the uninitiated, Scherstuhl provides some background on the thriller:

1998 novel about an O'Reilly-esque TV journalist who is trained by an Irish Republican Army terrorist to kill the people who deserve it the most: the broadcast news bastards who interfered with the O'Reilly character's career. It's personal on the political level, too—his victims includes a powerful "bitch" named Hillary and a fat "slob" named Martin Moore.

Before the clips, a bit of context.

The murderer, Shannon Michaels, is pursued by an O'Reilly-esque cop, Tommy O'Malley. These two Irish-Americans share their author's tough-talk, lust for power, and (alleged!) belief that the best way to seduce a woman is to seize her breasts, preferably as she showers.

The Village Voice has pulled the best clips from O'Reilly's self-narrated novel, from "Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up" to "I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."

Below is my personal favorite: "She obediently performed oral sex on him."

As with all cultural phenomenons worth remembering, somebody has already converted the audioclips into aslow jam remix.

[youtube:v=J4QA2edcccY]

Photo from Wikipedia Commons