EAT IT, JUDD: Somebody wrote Sarah Palin a letter the other day confirming that aerial wolf-hunting was a "scientifically valid and sound method of predator management." GRRROWL! The sender was "a group of pro-hunting organizations."

RUMORS: Has Levi Johnston knocked up another woman? And is he going for some sort of record?

LINCOLN, DARWIN, AND ... "Sarah Palin’s birthday was February 10 and Charles Darwin and Abe Lincoln on February 12. If the heavens tell us that people born in the same month have similar ways, are these folks compatible?" asks starperson Carol Forsloff. Well: "Palin believes intelligent design and evolution should both be taught and considers Darwin’s conclusions to be theory. Her critics say she doesn’t support scientist’s findings about endangered species either. So there’s no compatibility in the discipline that requires a specific type of personality and thought, which is science." THAT'S GOTTA HURT coming from someone who deals with dingbat celebrity astrology.

APPARENTLY Palin's also the "daughter of a science teacher."

I WOULD HAVE TITLED IT, PALIN AROUND WITH TERRORISTS. Following Sarah Palin's claim that Obama was "pallin' around with terrorists," one of said terrorists, Bill Ayers, wrote Palin a note suggesting the pair team up for "a talk show called Pallin’ Around With Sarah and Bill." He hasn't heard back.

DISABLED PERSON JOKES: Homebrewed Christianity rewrites the text on the SarahPAC homepage . . . to make funnies!

FIRST DUDE WINTER SPORT CORNER: A Mommylife mom met Sarah Palin at the "Iron Dog snowmachine race." Ha ha, snowmachine. Anyway: "After we met, she had a chance to speak to the crowd and racers directly. I especially loved the part where she asked for God's protection over them as they race to Nome then Fairbanks. I love a politician who is not afraid to let everyone know what she believes." Meanwhile,

FIRST DUDE STILL LOSING. Currently, he's fifth.

* Amazing story from NPR about an Iraqi woman from Fallujah who makes good—then not so good—in the United States. Includes:

- Daring escape from abusive brother
- Illicit Marine base love affair
- Booze-fueled Ozark, Mo. marriage
- Tattoo rings
- Last-ditch job as topless dancer
- Husband's post-traumatic stress disorder
- Arrest for child abuse

* Will Barack Obama come in at the buzzer to upstage Palin's SNL appearance on the Saturday before Election Day?

* Evil Slutopia reminds you that the rest of SNL still sucks:

We had actually been raving about SNL lately, because of the pure genius they've been coming up with consistently regarding the election. But we had been watching those sketches online for the most part, missing all of the really shitty stuff in between.

*New The New Gay "Lefthanded Lesbians" comic strip: How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb?

* Things over at Roissy in D.C. get political. Dropping "Bill Ayers" in da club: Not getting anyone laid since 1969.

* Photo by NCinDC

My father, a Barack Obama supporter, compares the final presidential debate to the last quarter of a sports game: Now that his candidate appears on the verge of victory, all he can do is watch on as he horribly squanders it all at the last minute. So this final debate drinking game is for those Obama supporters knocking furiously on wood, crossing their fingers, and still wearing their unwashed "Barack Obama Is My Homeboy" T-shirt from last year. It's also for those John McCain supporters holding out for an improbable Cinderella story win, wherein McCain feigns a pitch to catch Obama stealing a base, then Palin comes in to sack Joe Biden while McCain fakes left and swishes the half-court shot at the buzzer for the T.K.O. Drink!

The game kicks off tonight at 9 p.m. EST at Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. I'll be live-blogging the debate on the City Paper website starting then.

TAKE A DRINK FOR EVERY OBAMA AIRBALL:

- Obama says "that's not change, that's more of the same"
. . . adds in "yes we can" for good measure [x2]
- Obama says "John McCain is right . . ."
- Obama calls McCain by wrong name
. . . or calls Michelle by wrong name [x2]
- Obama appears to have recently received botox injection
. . . plus collagen [x2]
- Obama trips
- Obama unable to name Supreme Court case
- Obama swears [finish your drink]
- Obama admits he is, in fact, Muslim [finish two drinks]
- Obama admits he is, in fact, domestic terrorist [finish all drinks, everywhere]

TAKE A DRINK FOR EVERY MCCAIN HAIL MARY PASS:

- McCain refers to self as "maverick"
- McCain accuses Obama of lying
- McCain mentions Sarah Palin
- McCain mentions Bill Ayers
- McCain himself makes sports metaphor
. . . McCain makes any nonsensical metaphor [x2]
- McCain smiles without creeping you out
- McCain laughs without creeping you out [x2]
- McCain emerges as pro-choice [finish your drink]
- McCain appears to regard wife Cindy with love and mutual respect [finish two drinks]
- McCain removes mask to reveal he is, in fact, Barack Obama [drink all brain matter exploded onto television set]

Photo by Latente.