The human nipple is a strange beast. Depending on the context, this “small projection of skin containing the outlets for 15-20 lactiferous ducts arranged cylindrically around the tip” has been marketed as alternately sexy, obscene, artistic, disgusting, and even sexier.

But as a consumer of nipple shots, such versatility can become confusing. It’s often difficult to know the socially acceptable reaction to every stray projection of skin that catches your eye. Should you high-five your buddy or vomit discreetly into your hands? I’m here to help.

Read More “A Hierarchy Of the Human Nipple (NSFW ZOOM)” »

Pre-post-post-feminism was marked by elaborate personality-based costumes

Sady of Tiger Beatdown and I were totally prepared to have a Very Serious Discussion Concerning Our Feelings on the Defense Of Marriage Act and Why Obama Was Or Was Not A Dick About It (VSDCOFOTDOMAAWOWOWNADAI) today.

But then we read this awesome piece by Steve Haruch, dude in Texas, about why post-post-feminism in pop music is just pre-feminism in disguise, and we thought, “fuck it, let’s talk about Beyonce in a cop outfit.”

Read More “Sexist Beatdown: How Beyonce In A Cop Outfit = Feminism Now Edition” »

Men Men Men Men MANLY Men Men Men

Okay, before anything else: Please read this. I’m not sure what it is—more on that later—but it appears to be a column for the Globe and Mail penned by Lynn Crosbie about the true definition of “Samoan,” the reason why “Two & A Half Men” is “excellent,” and whether women in popular culture have been effectively replaced by mere “warmins.” Anyway, it’s a must read, but mostly because I could never possibly fucking explain it to you.

Ahem. Welcome to Sexist Beatdown, hosted by Sady from Tiger Beatdown and myself of the Sexist. Every week we do this little experiment where we drink a couple glasses of wine, sip a bit too plentifully from the NyQuil, and leave long, rambling voice messages on each others’ telephones that we then transcribe and place on the Internet for public consumption. Oh wait, that’s not us, that’s the way we imagine Lynn Crosbie’s latest column came into existence. My bad.

Although: Sady. Darling. WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO THAT ONE WEEK.

But for now:

Read More “Sexist Beatdown: Samoans, Indoor Plumbing, And The Secret of True Womanhood” »

I missed Beyonce singing “At Last” to Barack and Michelle at last night’s Neighborhood Ball—I was busy scoping out presidential connections (and duck wraps!) at the Hawaii State Society Inaugural Ball—which means I got to cry a little bit over YouTube this morning. Here’s the first dance, in case you missed it, too:

If they liked her, they should have let Beyonce put a ring on it.

Super hard, the Associated Press reports. Though the line-up for this Sunday’s Obama inaugural concert at the Lincoln Memorial includes some of the nation’s hottest performers, the notoriously lame “American spirit” promises to dampen each mammoth recording artist’s luster. According to the AP, “artists won’t be performing their big hits, but will be asked to perform material appropriate to the occasion.”

Read More “How Hard Is This Inaugural Concert Going to Blow?” »

WaPo’s Monica Hesse has published her list of the top viral videos of 2008. Making the cut are some industry standards—Tom Cruise and Scientology, Will.i.am and some presidential candidate, and (my personal favorite) Michael Cera and “drunk history.”

Here’s one I hadn’t seen before—some ” fierce, fierce dancing” by a spirited and scantily-clad fan of Beyonce’s Single Ladies video. Enjoy:

The Sexist’s morning roundup of District chatter on sex, gender, and Sarah Palin.

* On Slate, Dahlia Lithwick serves Joe Biden with some rules on how to fight a girl. Lithwick, a former parliamentary debater (side-note: totally awesome), gives Biden a frank run-down on how not to lose the Veep debate to Governor Palin. Most of the advice is fine—don’t leer, don’t condescend, don’t stoop—until Lithwick slips from the particular Biden/Palin scenario to a generalization about all male/female match-ups.

When Lithwick writes that her “insanely successful college debate friend told me recently that the way he won against women was by always behaving like they were men,” the implication is that minus their feminine wiles—the lipstick on their pit bulls—women will lose. After a long explanation of why Biden shouldn’t respond to Palin with Palin tactics, Lithwick’s kicker—”My best advice to you for dealing with Gov. Palin? Fight like a man. She will.”—is both confusing and lame. Who’s the man what now?

* The Washington Post marches boldly on with their “Wedding Week” coverage. At 1 p.m. today, join the authors of The Bridal Wave: A Survival Guide to the Everyone-I-Know-Is-Getting-Married Years for a live online chat. Ask Erin Torneo and Valerie Cabrera Krause how people who desperately wish they were married manage to be more tragic than the people who actually publicly declare how they’re going to love each other forever in front of everyone they know. Including their parents.

* Wait, coverage of marriage issues that doesn’t include pandering to the wedding industry? The Blade tips you off to a panel discussion on marriage rights in California and Massachusetts, tonight at 6:30 at the University of California Washington Center. UCWC is located at 1608 Rhode Island Avenue NW.

* The New Gay chronicles the “hidden history” of the women behind the writings of Victorian author Michael Field.

* Via Wonkette: Michelle dances with Ellen. Possible next First Lady jam: Rihanna’s “Don’t Stop the Music.” Last year, Barack got down to Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love.” Umm, I only watch Ellen when an Obama is on the show, does she make everyone do this?

Photo by NCinDC.