This Week In Sexist History:

Good 'Ol Day: July 22, 1893

Dateline: Long Branch, N.J.

Subject: The summer of 1893 is nearly ruined for this sad sack New Jersey scene reporter—until the sexiest underage bather this side of puberty catches his roving eye!

What's lifting these male vacationers from the depths of their pathetic existences? If you've been studying your Sexist History, you'd know that the answer probably starts with Pretty and ends with Girls:

Oh, it makes no difference what shape you are in the freewheeling social scene of the Jersey surf! Unless, of course, you're "pretty girl" shaped, in which case your body will likely be obsessively detailed in the pages of the New York Times. Proceed:

Euugh! How old is the young lady in the red swimsuit, anyway? One the one hand, it's great that this girl is still in her spluttering-around-in-the-water bathing suit phase, and not yet in her crippled-by-body-issues bathing suit phase. On the other hand, I'm willing to bet the girl's sexy childhood innocence was shattered riiiiiight arrroooound July 23, 1893—the day this Skeevy Turn-Of-The-Century Reporter's ruminations on her sexy childhood innocence was printed in the pages of the New York Times.

How can Skeevy Turn-of-the-Century Reporter possibly redeem himself from the true skeeviness of ogling bathing children? By turning next to an even sleazier specimen: The Skeevy Turn-Of-The-Century Sketch Artist.

Done and done.

Maryland Citizens for Responsible Government have come up with a pithy little campaign to oppose those pushing to end discrimination against transgender citizens in the state: "Not My Shower."

The Maryland state senate has proposed legislation that would prohibit discrimination based on "gender identity" in employment, housing, and public accommodation.

Hell, no, not in their shower! Dr. Ruth Jacobs, head of the MCRG, explains the real intent of the law: "to give special rights to men who want to dress like women," allowing them access to women's restrooms and—gasp—public showers. Because making sure that people who choose to clean themselves in public are comfortable being naked in front of strangers is clearly more important than eliminating discrimination in employment and housing for all citizens.

The "Not My Shower" campaigners continue: "With the bill’s vague wording, all an adult male has to do to gain legal access to facilities normally reserved for women and girls is to indicate, verbally or non-verbally, that he has a sense of being female at the moment." Ugh. Men who would put on dresses in order to scam on naked ladies do not need the help of anti-discrimination laws to follow their creepy molestation dreams. THOSE PEOPLE ARE NOT TRANSGENDER, and—

Let's pause here for a second. Who do you think is put at the most risk by the shower situation, REALLY?

- Those women and girls who were born male, identify clearly as female, and and are currently being forced to shower alongside groups of dudes who think they look feminine enough to harrass;

- Whining Republican ladies who surreptitiously inspect other women's genitals in the gym shower to make sure the other ladies' vaginas are vagina-looking enough to shower alongside them;

- Us all, who must endure lengthy discussions about who may access public showers that, strangely enough, nobody was clamoring to access before. If you're so scared of being naked in public, wear a bathing suit for Christ's sake.

Read the full text of the proposed bill here.

Photo by AlmazUK.