Sometimes, Craigslist Missed Connections have the power to renew your faith in love-at-first sight. Other times, they will destroy your faith in humanity. This is one of those times.

I don’t know what possibly could have happened this week to inspire some of the saddest missed connections that I have ever seen, but it’s not my place to speculate—Internet stalking works in mysterious ways.

First up: can two “sell outs” make it work?

BRUCE CONCERT AT VERIZON (Verizon Center)

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AshleyMadison.com, an online dating site that facilitates extramarital affairs, has never been too popular among moral conservatives. Earlier this year, Deroy Murdock argued on Human Events that Ashley Madison has edged out gay marriage as the number one threat to traditional matrimony. Now, cluck-clucking conservatives won’t have to choose between the cheaters and the gays: Ashley Madison has begun marketing itself as a place where the married can pursue their same-sex attractions, too.

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Ashley Madison, the online social network for men and women seeking extra-marital affairs, has had trouble landing its advertisements (above) on television and radio. So they’ve dumped their pro-cheating ads on the side of Remy Santiago’s gasoline truck. On Friday, Santiago’s cheatin’ truck rolled through D.C., and settled in one location for about an hour. So what’s the most cheating-amenable intersection in Washington?

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