When the American Library Association's annual conference kicked off in Chicago last Thursday, some attendees wanted the world to know that librarian get-togethers aren't all about shushing and stacking: There's a lot of fucking, too.

The nearly week-long librarian meet-up, which began July 9, delivers "over 300 educational programs" to professional bibliophiles each year—including workshops like "Collection Development: Decision Making With Data" and "When Is Nice Too Nice? Strategies For Disengaging From the Talkative Patron." Some attendees, however, haven't been entirely satisfied with the ALA programming. So they launched a "secret" Twitter account for librarians to share more intriguing professional insights. A typical anonymous ALA tweet:

Some librarians are exhausted by the conference's material ("I have reached the point of the conference where I no longer give a damn about anything anyone is saying any more.") Others are inspired by a perceived lack of cultural acceptance for a librarian's sex life ("I am an adult. I am a librarian. I enjoy good sex. Including at this conference. What is the problem?"). Most of them, for whatever reason, are talking about fucking—that's the "sexy" part. Not everyone is happy about it. That's where "stern" comes in.

According to the librarian-blogger at not all bits, ALA's first anonymous Twitter free-for-all, @alasecrets, was accessible via a username and password circulated among conference-goers. Less than two days into the festivities, however, the account was shut down by a fellow librarian. Writes not all bits:

Well, it saddens me that a member of the library profession took exception to @alasecrets and shut it down by logging in and changing the password. They protected the updates thereafter so, supposedly, people couldn’t see them.

You’re going to have to pardon my language here but FUCK that. I despise censorship in any form and I especially loathe the idea that a librarian shut down that Twitter account. So I did something about it.

The sexy librarian gossip site has now been re-born in the form of @ALASecrets2009—and re-illustrated with an icon of a Naughty Librarian Halloween costume (pictured). Conference attendees can now only post to the new feed by e-mail, meaning that fun-hating librarians can't tinker with the account details to quiet the masses. For the less horny librarian, the #ala2009 hash tag still offers up plenty of non-sexual ALA chat fare.

The first go-around of librarian fucking Tweets has now been "protected" from the public. Below, the ten sexiest nerd tweets from the feed's second incarnation:

TEN:

NINE:

EIGHT:

SEVEN:

SIX:

FIVE—THREE:

TWO:

ONE:

UPDATE: The American Library Association annual conference will be held in Washington, D.C. next year. Yesss.

UPDATE 2: Some sexy preservationists have uncovered the lost secret tweets!

For the discerning online dater, picks from the Craigslist litter.

Missed Connections: Fierce Jorts on U St.

A: w4m
S: Unreported
L: U Street

First Impression: No, not you ... the other one in the jorts. "You: strolling down U st. with your friend on Saturday night. You were both wearing fantastic pairs of jean shorts."

About Me: No different from everyone else who spotted you in those jorts. "Me: too intimidated to tell you how fierce your jorts were. They were."

Heart to Heart: Jorts fantasy nonsexual. "You should wear them...all the time."

—

Strictly Platonic: Beautiful ladies of the DMV Let's Hang!!!

A: 26
S: w4w
L: D.C., Maryland, and Virginia

First Impression: Get in line. "Beautiful ladies of the DMV if you know how to carry yourself, can distinguish trashy from classy and are attractive and professional then we should be BFF's!"

Just Not That Into You: Looks still important. "Just be STRAIGHT and the TOTAL PACKAGE...'cause at 5'5 36-24-36, I know I am!!!! . . . Confidence is a MUST so lets trade e-mails and our pretty pics and hang out and make the men drool!"

Heart to Heart: Serious about that DMV. "NO NOT RESPOND IF . . . You do not have a car."

—

Misc. Romance: An Anonymous Kiss

A: 35
S: m4w
L: D.C. Metro Area

First Impression: Long time kisser, first-time poster. "I want to try something different. . . . We will have never seen each other before, and we will never see each other again. We will not have exchanged pictures. Other than a few emails, we will be total strangers. . . . We'll embrace and kiss. Make out with each other. Get lost in the moment."

Need Not Apply: Clingy kiss and tells. "I'm not looking for a relationship."

Heart to Heart: Puts the "on and on" in anonymous. "I can tell you that I'm tall, slender, healthy, and clean. Reddish-blond hair. Blue eyes. No beer gut. No facial hair. Nothing contagious. Although perhaps a bit of a bad boy at heart, I'm also educated, polished, and professional. I've been told multiple times that I'm a good kisser, and I've also been told that I'm pretty cute. If we're going to do this, you should be able to tell me some similar things about yourself, and your description should be accurate. You don't have to be single, but I don't want to know the details. You don't have to be exactly my type (whatever that means) because, who knows, I may not be exactly your type either. But I also don't want to kiss a troll, and I can promise you that I am definitely not one myself. Just be honest so there are no disappointments.