I've been writing a lot about date rape in popular culture lately, particularly in music. Most of my treatment has involved parsing the lyrics of popular songs with rape-scenario undertones: Asher Roth's soft indictment of college date rape; A Tribe Called Quest's anti-date rape, menstruation-joke opus; Slick Rick's anal-themed rape song. But do the songs at least sound good? And does that make them worse?

Yesterday, commenter Jelita Jane made a good point about date-rape songs: some of them are terrible (Britney Spears' "Blur"), some of them are awesome (Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night'—don't deny it)—and the success of the song often has little to do with how positive or negative its message is. Jelita Jane writes:

[The Toadies] have a song called Tyler that fully outlines a stalker/rapist’s nighttime jaunt into his obsession’s home. I don’t remember all the lyrics but I clearly recall, “I stumble in the hallway, outside her bedroom door/ I hear her call out to me, I hear the fear in her voice/ she pulls her covers tighter, I press against her door/ I will be with her tonight” it’s the creepiest song but somehow it’s still pretty awesome too . . .

A Hierarchy of Date Rape Jams:

Sweet, Positive Jams: Ever since Tupac "died," artists with the ability to craft sweet jams with positive messages have been few and far between. The best bet in crafting a song about rape that's good (and good for you!) is to go heavy on the social satire: i.e. babies being fed malt liquor; period jokes. See: Amanda Palmer's "Oasis"; A Tribe Called Quest's "The Infamous Date Rape."

Sweet, Neutral Jams: These songs are heavily date-rapey, but are, at least, mitigated through storytelling devices: i.e., told from the perspective of a creepy rapist/murderer; told through a fucked-up dream about rape and murder. See: Toadies' "Tyler"; Prince Paul's "Beautiful Night"

Meh: Just about anyone can write a middling track with date rape undertones. Pass. See: Sublime's "Date Rape"; Ludacris' "One More Drink"; 50 Cent's "She Wants It"; Asher Roth's "I Love College"

Terrible, Neutral Jams: Britney Spears should never write "message" songs! Like the rest of her songs, they still don't mean anything, and with Brit-Brit, it's about 70-30 that the song also totally sucks. See: Britney Spears' "Blur"

Terrible, Negative Jams: The hottest place in Billboard chart hell should be reserved for really, really, really bad songs that don't just condone—but advocate—rape. One reader suggested that listening to Slick Rick's ode to raping women in the butt is "more like actually getting date raped." Listening to Anal Cunt is, similarly, an unpleasant experience, but at least you can't tell what the fuck they're talking about. See: Anal Cunt's "You Were Too Ugly to Rape"; Slick Rick's "Adults Only"

Sweet, Negative Jams: These songs—which are fucking sweet except for their terrible date-rape themes—are the most dangerous of all. Oftentimes, the jam is so sweet, the hook so catchy, Rod Stewart so awesome, that the underlying rape message gets by without comment. I listened to Jamie Foxx's "Blame It (On the Alcohol)" three times before I realized how noxious it was. And it took CP movie reviewer Tricia Olszewski to reveal that epically sweet jam "Tonight's the Night" is actually about holing a virgin in your house in order to have sex with her. See: Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night"; Jamie Foxx's "Blame It (On the Alcohol); Frank Loesser's "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Terrible, Positive Jams: Still on the lookout for terrible jams with really positive date-rape messages. While a really sweet jam might cause record labels to overlook the song's date-rapiness, a positive message can never make up for a really bad song. Might Kelly Osborne's "Don't Touch Me While I'm Sleeping" qualify?

But Foxx and Pain aren't the first to make raping someone you know into record gold. Below, five of the most notable date rape anthems in recording history.

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Date Rape Anthem: Jamie Foxx's "Blame It (On the Alcohol)," in which Foxx attempts to fuck a woman who "says she usually don't" but that he knows is "frontin" because "she don't wanna seem like she's easy." (But she is). Foxx knows she's ready to admit she wants it when "she spilled some drink on me / And now I'm knowin' she tipsy." My neighbor has this song as her ringtone.

Relevant Lyrics:

Blame it on the goose, gotcha feeling loose
Blame it on the 'tron, gotcha panties off
Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol, blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol
Blame it on the vodka, blame it on the henny
Blame it on the blue tap got you feeling dizzy
Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-alcohol, blame it on the ah-ah ah-ah ah-al-co-hol

Why It's So Rapey: She doesn't want it until she's had such a serious combination of cocktails that she's spilling drinks on Jamie Foxx. Foxx, of course, knew better than she alllll alongggg.

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Date Rape Anthem: The Toadies' "Possum Kingdom," a first-person appeal to a future rape/murder victim to go with the Toadies' ultimate skeezy dude "behind the boathouse."

Relevant Lyrics:

Make up your mind
Decide to walk with me
Around the lake tonight
By my side
I'm not gonna lie
I'll not be a gentleman
Behind the boathouse
I'll show you my dark secret

Why It's So Rapey: More a date-murder anthem, the Toadies still suggest that she'll "Give it up to me, Give it up to me" before she becomes his "angel."

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Date Rape Anthem: Sublime's "Date Rape," a ska jaunt through a woman's acquaintance rape, her legal battle, and the rapist's punishment. Popular among Arizona middle school students.

Relevant Lyrics:

Thats when things got out of control.
She didnt want to, he had his way.
She said, lets go
He said, no way!
Come on babe its your lucky day.
Shut your mouth, were gonna do it my way.
Come on baby dont be afraid,
If it wasnt for date rape Id never get laid.

Why It's So Rapey: This date rape song has a positive moral ending: "It does not pay / Drunk and horny." But it then goes on to advocate for prison rape: "Well, I cant take pity on men of his kind," Sublime's Bradley Nowell sings. "Even though he now takes it in the behind."

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Date Rape Anthem: Frank Loesser's "Baby, It's Cold Outside," a tug-of-war duet between an unwilling female and a drink-mixing male. Penned in 1944, decades before the term "date rape" entered our collective consciousness.

Relevant Lyrics:

I really can't stay—Baby it's cold outside
I've got to go away—Baby it's cold outside
This evening has been—Been hoping that you'd drop in
So very nice—I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice
My mother will start to worry—Beautiful, what's your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor—Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I'd better scurry—Beautiful, please don't hurry
well Maybe just a half a drink more—Put some music on while I pour

The neighbors might think—Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink—No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how —Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell—I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir—Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried—What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay—Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside

Why It's So Rapey: Dubbed by Urban Dictionary as the "Christmas Date Rape Song," "Baby, It's Cold Outside" has endured as a classic date rape anthem because (a) it was ahead of its time; (b) the lyrics are unimaginably date-rapey—the woman tells the man her "answer is no," but he continues to ply her with drinks and exaggerated weather-based fears until she sleeps over; and (c) it's nevertheless celebrated as a Christmas classic.

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Date Rape Anthem: Anal Cunt's "You Were Too Ugly to Rape So I Beat the Shit Out of You," a song which claims to have lyrics.

Relevant Lyrics:

I drank a case of whiskey
And you looked like Jeanine Jizm
I drank another case of whiskey
And you looked like Roseannie Barr

Why It's So Rapey: Okay, I'm not sure "I drank a case of whiskey" qualifies as a date, and Anal Cunt does decide to "beat the shit" out of her instead of raping her, and I'm pretty sure they don't actually say anything in this song, but I think it still counts.