* Via GLAA Forum, The Nation reports on queer youth in juvenile detention facilities.

* From THE LINE: "I have noticed a disturbing trend among women: we do not like to admit we have sex."

* SAFER Campus on alcohol and consent:

there is so much defensiveness about alcohol and consent, as though it’s a really really complicated thing. And ya know, I think that for people who are aren’t raised to think about sex as a shared experience in which two people are actively, positively participating, it can actually seem that complicated. But the reality is that it doesn’t have to be. Having sex with an incapacitated person should be widely understand as rape. Two drunk people having sex should be aware enough of the other person to have a sense of what is or isn’t consent because they’ve been raised to respect other people, and it’s second nature to them to check and make sure their partner is involved. I understand this is reductive; that it’s real nice to think about this sexual utopia where things are simple, but perhaps not a realistic picture of how things are now so what’s the point. But I think that we overcomplicate consent; people say that defining consent is making something natural more complicated than it needs to be, but really isn’t something only complicated when it’s unclear? Wouldn’t the actions themselves be less complicated if we had the complicated conversations beforehand? I dunno. I long for the day when this can be that simple.

* Tony Perkins is concerned that Amtrak is using taxpayer money for "recruiting homosexual passengers." Gays on trains? Is nothing sacred?

* Adult Video News reporter Mark Kernes registers his displeasure with the court on its handling of the John Stagliano obscenity case. At issue: The judge's decision to keep jury selection private, presumably because of the porn-y nature of the line of questioning:

As a journalist, I have covered three previous federal obscenity cases—U.S. v. Little (Middle Dist. of Fla.), U.S. v. JM Productions (Dist. of Ariz.) and U.S. v. Isaacs (Central Dist. of Calif.)—and in all of those cases, reporters were permitted to attend all phases of the trial, including the jury selection, during which the jurors were all referred to by their juror number in order to protect their privacy.

However, in the Stagliano case, Judge Leon closed the courtroom while the attorneys were discussing the written jury questionnaires and questioning individual prospective jurors based on their answers in the questionnaires. It has been my experience that prospective jurors' answers to counsels' questions can be very informative of their backgrounds and mindsets, and as a reporter, I believe I should have had access to that information as background for my coverage of the trial, and that Judge Leon's order amounted to a violation of the First Amendment's "freedom of the press" clause.

Traditional beauty pageants come with all sorts of strange entrance requirements. In order to compete in the Miss America pageant, for example, a constestant must be an unmarried woman who has always been female, has never been pregnant, and has never engaged in any "immoral" or "indecent" activities.

D.C.'s annual LGBT pageant, Mr. and Miss Capital Pride, welcomes married, transgender, and pregnant contestants. The sexual history of entrants is unimportant; the entrance requirements don't even specify that contestants be part of the LGBT community. But the Pride pageant has got a few strange rules of its own. From the 2010 application [PDF]:

1. Do not get high and steal from other pageant contestants.

Any contestant, or person affiliated with a contestant, who misappropriates the property of another contestant, violates any law regarding the abuse of alcohol or drugs, or is caught in the act of stealing will be disqualified and removed from the location of the contest. Unsportsmanlike conduct by a contestant or contestant’s entourage (dresser, dancer) before, during or after the pageant will not be tolerated and is subject to immediate dismissal from the venue and pageant.

2. Entourage is responsible for any damage inflicted by entourage.

It is further understood by signature of this application and submission of this application, contestants and the contestant’s entourage (dresser, dancers) will take responsibility for any and all damage (should it occur) to Town before, during or after the pageant.

3. Only one dresser at a time:

Each contestant will be allowed ONLY one (1) dresser at any given time. Contestants must remain in the assigned area at all times. Administrative points will be deducted from contestants who do not remain in the designated area. Dressers and Dancers as well as any other helpers with a contestant must pay at the front door before being allowed access to the dressing room.

4. No tips.

At no time during the contests shall a contestant or their helper(s) receive a gratuity of any kind during their time on stage.

5. All colors of rainbow must be represented. Rules for the "Pride Attire" category:

Pride attire may be presented by the contestant in the form of his/her most imaginative and creative style. Pride attire is not limited to any one color, but should encompass the full scale of the rainbow. Make your own statement and get as creative as you like.

6. No strings attached. Rules for the ladies' "Evening Gown" category:

Evening gown will be the most elegant outfit you wear during the pageant (i.e. full length not a cocktail dress). It should complement your figure and make a statement of your personal style and taste. The dress accessories should be in perfect condition. No strings should be anywhere on the dress unless the style warrants it. There should be no tears in any part of the fabric and the gown should be stain and wrinkle free. It is your responsibility to take care of the gown and keep it in perfect condition during the pageant.

7. Black jeans are not formal wear. Rules for the men's "Formal Wear" category [Gender nerd noted: Observe how the women's gowns must "complement your figure" while the men's formal wear must simply "complement you"]:

Formal wear should be the most distinguished outfit you wear during the contest (i.e. black tie, tails, regular or modern tuxedo, no black jeans). It should complement you and make a statement of your personal style and taste. No strings should be anywhere on the formal attire. There should be no tears in any part of the fabric and the garment should be stain and wrinkle free. It is your responsibility to take care of your formal wear and keep it in perfect condition during the pageant.

8. Lip-syncing will be judged on proper phrasing. I love that there are three possible talent categories here: "lip-sync," "live vocal," and "other." Hey, beats the swimsuit competition:

Talent is the highest point category in the Mr. & Miss Capital Pride 2010 contests. Contestants will be judged on the quality of lip-sync, live vocal or other entertainment. Judges will be looking for lip sync or live singing ability. This will include but not limited to words to his/her song and proper phrasing within the song. If it is a live performance, is the talent of good quality? If there is choreography, the dancers should know the steps and steps should flow. If a member of your troupe does not know his/her part, points will be deducted from you score. Quality of set design and construction are not judged (note: allowed height 8 feet). All contestants are responsible for their sets. Judges are instructed to deduct points if a set does not complement or enhance the talent and if the set falls or is broken during the talent phase of competition. All costuming and set design should fit the style and mood of the talent being presented. Is your talent appropriate for competition? Does your talent move, excite or educate the judges panel and the audience. It is important to know that you are being judged by a panel of judges and not by the audience. Keep in mind that subcategories make up the total score in each category of competition.

In other words: This is going to be awesome. The Mr. and Miss Capital Pride 2010 pageant will begin promptly at 7 p.m. Friday, June 4th at Town Danceboutique.

* The Washington Post examines LAX's alcohol problem:

[Huguely's] lacrosse team has a strict alcohol policy. In 1999, Coach Dom Starsia adopted a rule that allowed players to drink only one night a week, usually Saturdays. A player who broke the rule a single time would be suspended indefinitely. A second offense would result in dismissal from the team.

"Alcohol and lacrosse have gone hand-in-hand since my days at Brown [University] in the 1970s," Starsia told The Washington Post at the time. "Whether it is post-game celebrations or just in general, there was something about the sport and alcohol, and Virginia was no different. I always thought alcohol was an issue here, and it is something we talked about before the season began."

* Also in the Post, Daniel de Vise asks if the tragedy could have been prevented had Huguely's former run-ins with police—including an arrest for threatening in which he threatened to kill a female police officer—been reported to the school:

Following the death of a student, apparently at the hands of another, University of Virginia President John T. Casteen III is asking the obvious questions: what did officials know of George Huguely's past behavior, what should they have known, and might they have somehow prevented the death of Yeardley Love?

Casteen said in a news conference Wednesday that school officials were unaware of Huguely's prior arrest for a drunken and aggressive encounter between the six-foot-two Huguely and a female officer almost a foot shorter in the college town of Lexington, Va. The struggle ended with Huguely Tasered and handcuffed.

In fact, university officials should have known, at least in theory. Huguely should have told them, under a school policy that requires students to report any encounters with police. Huguely evidently didn't follow that policy.

* Vise also suggests that Spodak's alcohol policy may have had unintended consequences:

Some of the measures U-Va. has taken to protect students could have unintended consequences, said Barry Spodak, a national authority on threat assessment. He zeroed in on the decade-old policy that forbids the male lacrosse team, of which Huguely was a member, from drinking more than once a week, with stiff penalties.

Could such a rule have the effect of pushing the drinking underground?

"When formulating rules and policies about student behavior, it's wise to keep in mind whether a proposed policy will inhibit students and staff from reporting worrisome behavior," he said.

* Meanwhile, Christine Brennan for USA Today comes right out and says that "the tragedy could have been prevented," had the UVA Women's Center's proposed anti-violence network been implemented earlier:

Two weeks ago, Claire Kaplan, director of Sexual and Domestic Violence Services at the University of Virginia Women's Center, organized a 2 1/2-hour session for a small group of the school's athletic department staff on a topic that has been vitally important to her for years: the creation of a support network to help student-athletes deal with gender-based violence.

* And Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell, who doesn't have the best track record with women's issues, said in a statement that he's committed to preventing tragedies like this in the future:

"We are reaching out today to President Casteen to arrange a personal meeting with the Governor. The Governor wants to study and fully consider every possible idea that could help prevent such a senseless crime from taking place in the future. He looks forward to hearing the President's insights and thoughts on the issue."

Date Rape Anthem: The parade of female-sung Date Rape Jams continues. Kiely Williams' "Spectacular," a song about getting wasted, passing out, and having the most incredible sex of your life!

Relevant Lyrics:

Last I remember I was face down
Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off
Even though I’m not sure of his name
He could get it again if he wanted
Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular

Why It's So Rapey: Although Williams insists—several times—that the sex was "spectacular," she also reiterates that she doesn't remember the damn thing. "What was I drinking, I can’t believe I blacked out," she purrs, before getting specific on the sweeping memory loss: "I hope he used a rubber, or I'm a be in trouble, problem is I don't remember, except for (unintelligible)."

From time to time, commenters on this blog will pose the following burning question about consent: So, what if your sex partner was too drunk to consent to sex—she was ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off, and blacked out. But what if—what if—when she wakes up the next day, she's totally pumped about what she can't remember happened the night before? [See: The controversy over broke off, dozed off consensual sex at American University last year].

What if, indeed? Well, OK: If the lady in question is heading into the recording studio to sing the praises of the stallion who spectacularly sexed her when she was passed out, that stallion is probably in the clear as far as his legal situation is concerned.

That doesn't put him in the clear as far as my feminist shaming is concerned, however. I understand that the exact moment a potential sex partner becomes too drunk to fuck is not always obvious. But surely, dozing off in the middle of sex is a good indication that you should stop, no matter how spectacular it was when she was actually coherent. You've got to have meaningful consent before and throughout the act, no matter how she feels about it the next day. If your sex partner's kink is being fucked while she's asleep, that's a situation that you've got to set upbeforehand. And even if she ends up telling you the sex was great when she wakes up, that doesn't let you off the hook, either. A commenter on Bossip put it this way: "so she got slipped a roofie, date ra.p.e.d and wrote a song about it. life gives you lemons you make lemonade i guess."

And another thing! How many pieces of popular music have to be written about how pushing booze on women until they vomit all over themselves and ultimately juuuust barely consent to having sex with you is sexy? Because these songs actually glamorize the behavior of rapists. And even if you're the elusive chick who happens to be into that, presenting this situation as "spectacular" is both a) not particularly interesting, as far as pop music is concerned, and b) harmful to all the women who wake up in that same situation and have a much different descriptor for the sex: "rape."

I'm grateful to commenter DJ Ri-Mix, who offers up another date rape jam for our collection: "Shots" by LMFAO and featuring Lil Jon. This one is a doozy, ladies!

Date Rape Anthem: LMFAO's "Shots," an ode to repeatedly ingesting one-ounce doses of liquor. And cock-sucking!

Relevant Lyrics:

Shots shots shots shots shots shots
Shots shots shots shots shots
Shots shots shots shots shots

Everybody
The ladies love us / When we pour shots
They need an excuse / To suck our cocks
We came to get crunk / How ‘bout you?
Bottles up / Let’s go round two

Why It’s So Rapey: Hold up—that was round one? We're only at round one, and all the ladies who previously had no intention of sucking LMFAO's cocks have already found an excuse to do so? WTF happens in round two?

The women come around everytime I’m pourin’ shots
Their panties hit the ground everytime I give em shots
So cups in the air, everybody lets take shots.

In-da-club vaginal penetration, I'm guessing.

I kind of get LMFAO: They're a couple of hipster hip-hop boys, so when they do shit like name themselves "LMFAO," and appear on the Kardashian sisters' reality television show, and go to Canada, and rap about receiving oral sex from drunk chicks, their tongues are at least a little bit in-cheek. Still: Proudly proclaiming that women "need an excuse to suck our cocks" and trade their panties for liquor isn't exactly LMFAO-out-loud funny—it's actually been done before, guys, and peppering your babe-a-licious video with some hipster sensibilities doesn't magically transform a Lil Jon song into satire.

What says summer like boozy, blacked-out, ambiguously consensual fucking? Boozy, blacked-out, ambiguously consensual fucking that clocks in at 28 minutes and three seconds!

Burning Star Core was so inspired by everyone's favorite date-rape jam, Jamie Foxx's "Blame It (On the Alcohol), that they've compiled the song's many remixes into one epic 30-minute alcohol-soaked sex anthem. Download it here.

The song trades in so many booze and sex references, it's sometimes difficult to know what category of fluid these MCs are busy name-checking. But who caaaaaares: the important thing is that we all drink more until strangers are willing to hook up with us.

And so, after the jump: the ill-advised Blame it (On the Alcohol) Ultimate Remix drinking game:

Cover your beer with a napkin when you hear any of the following Alcohol references:

* drunk
* drank
* Goose
* bottle
* knocked out
* gin and tonic
* shots
* fluid
* designated driver
* vomit

Avoid eye contact with the closest creep when you hear any of the following Sex references:

* pocket rocket
* fucking
* ass
* bikini
* wet
* fluid
* bone
* pimp
* Barack
* Beyonce

* Disclaimer: Nobody ever play this game.

Photo by Shiny Things

The other day, a friend of mine received a helpful pamphlet outside of the Metro entitled "Real Women vs. Fake Women." This handy guide—which reveals which ladies in your life are authentic and which are fake, make-believe women—is excerpted from Allan Williams' book, God Don't Like Fake People. In the book, Williams also tackles "real" and "fake" men. But more on that later—ladies first!

Women: Are you real, or are you fake? I've adapted Williams' tips into a handy fifteen-question quiz. Find out after the jump!

ONE.

a. You are very clean.

b. You put time, focus and energy into your booty.

TWO.

a. You are easy to please.

b. When you receive a compliment, you look at the person who gave it to you as if they were the scum of the earth. However, you are addicted to compliments, and if you go a day in public without getting one you will start getting insecure and looking in the mirror every 20 seconds.

THREE.

a. You cherish the simple things in life that are the really big things in life, like God.

b. You only mention God when you say “Oh MY GOD!!”

FOUR.

a. You intend to get married or have kids early in life.

b. You intend on having kids later in life, possibly as a single parent.

FIVE.

a. You don't have a lot of male friends.

b. You have a lot of so-called male friends.

SIX.

a. You are simple in nature.

b. You deal with multiple men at a time and claim that they are just male friends while steady fornicating with them.

SEVEN.

a. You love straight-forward simple men that need you.

b. You often cheat on your so-called boyfriends with coworkers at your job.

EIGHT.

a. You will take love over security because you know that true love always manifests itself in the physical form eventually.

b. You meet and talk to guys on Myspace.com or Facebook.com that your so-called boyfriends or husbands don’t know about it.

NINE.

a. You can't stand quiet feminine guys.

b. You are always getting into relationships with men that are on the down low.

TEN.

a. You don’t drink or smoke but will perhaps drink a tad bit on occasion.

b. You often drink a lot and sometimes smoke because you get taken out so much, and that’s why you don’t know how to cook and are often very filthy and dirty.

ELEVEN.

a. You speak your mind to your man but don’t mind being submissive.

b. You lack common sense.

TWELVE.

a. You know how to cook and clean.

b. You only work out mostly in the spring time because that’s when you get to compete against unknown females and your fake friends on who got the best body and tattoos.

THIRTEEN.

a. You are clean.

b. You are very used up.

FOURTEEN.

a. You are just happy to be in a real man’s presence.

b. You look pretty but your inside organs and your vagina are work out because so many male private parts have visited there.

FIFTEEN.

a. You are too into your mate to have time and energy to spend with another man.

b. You don't know that you are the cause of your own misery.

—

MOSTLY As: Congratulations! You are a real woman.

MOSTLY Bs: You are a fake woman who may or may not have personally annoyed the author of God Don't Like Fake People by: cheating on him with your so-called friends, co-workers, and Facebook acquaintances; drinking alcohol; having a worked-out vagina; being a single parent; or simply refusing to go out with him. As a result, God doesn't like you. For more information on your condition, read the entire excerpt here.

Photo by gailf548

It would be difficult for any advertising campaign to convince me to drink a Bacardi Breezer anywhere—much less in a shopping mall. Unfortunately, Bacardi's "Get An Ugly Girlfriend" campaign has managed to produce the same feeling of nausea in me, but without the 4 percent alcoholic buzz!

Jezebel has already remarked on how the campaign misfires by attempting to target typically misogynystic alcohol advertising at women instead of the usual target (men). But the "Get An Ugly Girlfriend" campaign got another thing wrong, too: the Internet.

The Bacardi campaign, launched in Tel Aviv, is all set up to make online waves. On the Web site, you can fill out a form to receive a free Bacardi Breezer (though I'm not convinced Get An Ugly Girlfriend will look any better when we're drunk). You can add write in with your own comments about each of Bacardi's ugly girlfriends: Sally, the fat one; Daisy, the hippie (and probably the feminist) one; Wendy, the kinda gothy one; and Lucy, another fat one. And you can "friend" each of the girls on Facebook—a feature which sends you over to the campaign's Facebook page. It's so interactive!

Well, it was until this morning. When I logged onto the Facebook group yesterday afternoon, the campaign had about 100 followers—and dozens of negative comments applying a variety of critiques to Bacardi's ad men. The comments ranged from feminist attacks on Bacardi's misogynystic disregard of its potential customers to more aesthetic criticisms ridiculing Bacardi for passing off a grade-school insult as innovation.

But when I attempted to log onto the Facebook page again this morning—what can I say, I'm a fan—the whole interactive feature had mysteriously disappeared. That's the downside of "going viral" when you're trying to sell booze, not pageviews. Personally, I don't mind a spike in visitors when a lot of people are pissed off at whatever I have to say. But if you actually need your online visitors to buy what you're selling, it doesn't help that everyone coming to your site would never buy this misogynystic crap—much less an actual Bacardi Breezer.

It looks like Bacardi has decided to cut its losses on this one and shut down the impromptu Bacardi bitching site (though the ad campaign is still up online). The "comments" feature, however, is still up on the Web site: It includes three generic positive comments supplied by Bacardi. The "Add Your Comment" button below the comments goes nowhere. Now, all that visitors to the Web site can do is shut up and fill out the form for a free Bacardi. That's more like it!

UPDATE: Oops, looks like the Web site has been taken down entirely. Feminist social networking FTW?

UPDATE: A Bacardi rep sent the following apology to Jezebel:

Thank you for taking the time to post your story on Bacardi Breezer.

The campaign you are referring to ran in 2008 for two months in Israel. Even though Bacardi Breezer is not sold or distributed in the United States, we immediately notified the appropriate Bacardi affiliate and had this website shut down.

Bacardi proudly celebrates diversity and we do not endorse the views of this site. We sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by this site and thank you for bringing it to our attention.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime should you have any questions.

When I first described Jamie Foxx's "Blame It (On the Alcohol)" as a date rape jam, I lamented that the song didn't allow Foxx's female target on the dance floor any input into the situation. "But what about the woman in the song?" I asked. "Of course, no holla back joint has dropped from Foxx’s fictional honey, so we can’t tell what she’s really thinking."

But I think I've found her! And she is Lady Gaga. In extreme boozin' song "Just Dance," Gaga declares:

"I've had a little bit too much, much."

"Where are my keys? I lost my phone."

"What's going on on the floor?"

"I can't see straight anymore."

"What's the name of this club?"

"How'd I turn my shirt inside out?"

Anyway, Lady Gaga is wasted. So what does she want to do now?:

Just dance, gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm
Just dance, spin that record babe, da da doo-doo-mmm

Cool, whatever. Just dance, Lady. But goddamnit, here comes up-and-coming R&B artist Colby O'Donis:

Shawty I can see that you got so much energy
The way you're twirlin' up them hips 'round and 'round
And now there's no reason at all why you can't leave here with me
In the meantime stay and let me watch you break it down

Typical. Gaga just wants to dance! "Just," as in "only the dancing," is even in the title of the song. Colby O wants her to dance into his pants—and there's "no reason at all" why that shouldn't happen. Here's one reason: She can't figure out how her shirt got turned inside out.

Unfortunately, I can't figure out how this one ends because the lyrics then descend into incomprehensibility. Most agree that Gaga is saying "Spend the last dough / In your pocko" in the end there, but one interpretation offers a much more chilling ending: "It's been molesto / I got it / And your popped coll."

Molesto . . . Popped collar . . . AHHHHHHHHHH!

Date Rape Anthem: Asher Roth's "I Love College"

Relevant Lyrics:

I can't tell you what I learned from school but
I could tell you a story or two, um
Yeah, of course I learned some rules
Like don't pass out with your shoes on (get the sharpie)

And don't leave the house 'til the booze gone (no we're not leaving)
And don't have sex if she's too gone
When it comes to condoms put two on (trust me)
Then tomorrow night find a new jawn

Why It's So Rapey: On the surface, Roth's love-letter to undergraduate debauchery condemns date rape ("don't have sex if she's too gone"). So why would this Village Voice detractor call the Morrisville, Pa. rapper's first album "nothing more than a soundtrack for date rape"?

Maybe it has something to do with the context of Roth's one-line defense of consensual sex. At the beginning of his video for "I Love College," Roth awakes on a fraternity house couch with a half-naked girl passed out on his lap. He doesn't date-rape her: He just pushes her off onto the floor and starts drinking again. Later, when the party is in full-swing, Roth boasts that he drank the party house dry as he "danced my face off and had this one girl completely naked." He doesn't date-rape her: He just uses her naked body to boost his cred in a rap song.

Roth's song does sets limits for consensual sex—don't do her if "she's too gone"—while simultaneously urging college students to push those limits by getting wasted and getting it on—in other words, doing her when she's juuuust gone enough. In a fraternity house full of people partying naked until all the booze is gone, "she's too gone" might start to seem pretty relative.

Meanwhile, one in four women will be sexually assaulted while in college, making the listener wonder how Roth learned the "rules" of college behavior. Roth knows now not to a) pass out with your shoes on, b) leave before the booze is gone, c) date-rape a girl, and d) have unprotected sex. Has he learned from experience?

Still, it's enough for commenters on feminist blog Feministe to defend Roth against charges of racism and sexism: "He does the bare minimum of saying, '…don’t have sex if she’s too far gone,' whatever his motives," one writes. "I honestly didn’t expect that much because date rape is usually so fucking hilarious to frat boys."

Observe and Report, Seth Rogen's new film, is a dark rom-com about a mall security guard in love with a beautiful, alcoholic flashing victim Brandi (played by Anna Faris). Rogen's character unsuspectingly date-rapes Brandi after she downs several shots, pops some pills, vomits all over herself, and passes out. But it's okay, because she actually wanted it.

The clip from the scene is at the 2:40 mark. Rogen's take on date rape:

SETH ROGEN: when we're having sex and she's unconscious like you can literally feel the audience thinking, like, how the fuck are they going to make this okay? Like, what can possibly be said or done that I'm not going to walk out of the movie theater in the next thirty seconds? . . . And then she says, like, the one thing that makes it all okay:

BRANDI: "Why are you stopping, motherfucker?"

See, she just prefers to fuck while sleeping! And so, an entire theater's ambivalence toward date rape is miraculously resolved in a good, long, laugh, and the date rapist who is meant to be protecting Brandi from the penis flasher remains the hero.

If Observe and Report were really in the business of edgy, "dangerous," black comedy, Brandi would leave Rogen for the arms of an even more heinous sexual abuser, like a gang rapist, then leave him for a child molesting middle-school teacher, before finally settling down with a serial prostitute killer. If only somebody in Hollywood had the balls to do it.