The AARP has finally figured out a way to deter all those crazy tweens from sexting their chastity away: Inform them that a bunch of totally old people are doing it, too. In the November issue Online at AARP.org, reporter Jessica Leshnoff interviews a handful of first-name-only seniors who admit to sending photos of their boobs to other old people through text messages.

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Welcome back to “Sexist Beatdown,” a weekly online “chat” between myself and Sady of Tiger Beatdown. “Sexist Beatdown,” incidentally, could also define every relationship famously depressed person Elizabeth Wurtzel (pictured) has ever had (just wait ’til you meet GREGG, guys!).

In Wurtzel’s latest essay, “Failure to Launch: When Beauty Fades” (published in this month’s Elle), Elizabeth Wurtzel is depressed again. This time, because she is “old” (41)—and also, maybe, secretly, because she’s spent the greater part of those years getting shit thrown at her face by epic douchebags. While aging has brought Wurtzel fame, book deals, and a J.D. from Columbia, it has also stolen the precious glint of youth from her eyes, and left her pining for her Original Epic Douche—the beautiful peppermint-flavored-foot-massaging, bottle-chucking graduate student douchebag GREGG. The essay is, in typical Wurtzel fashion, funny, sad, honest, and problematic.

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