* Some douchebag slapped the ass of a local female DJ; she recounts her experience on Holla Back DC:

[I] was doing a gig in a bar in Adams Morgan when an older guy came into the DJ booth . . .The guy started bragging that he owns a bunch of clubs in DC, and telling me they’re always looking for “hot female DJs” to spin parties, blah blah blah. He was really creepy, and the whole time he was talking, he was literally inching toward me, until he was right up in my grill.

I (politely) asked if he could take a few steps back and give me room while I worked. Apparently that was offensive, cause he said, “Fine, f*ck you then” and turned to leave, slapping my butt on the way out.

I totally lost it. I screamed “OH NO YOU F*CKING DID NOT JUST TOUCH MY BODY! How dare you, you disgusting PIG! Don’t EVER touch my body like that again, you get me?” He just looked at me like I’d punched him in the face, then skulked off.

Needless to say, I won’t be working in any of his clubs.

* Via GLAA Forum: The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services took the next step toward protecting equal hospital visitation rights for LGBT patients. The new proposed rules will "protect patients' rights to choose their own visitors during a hospital stay, including visitors who are same-sex domestic partners."

* David Malitz attends a "disastrous" Hole concert at the 9:30 Club:

The between song chatter was more than just chatter. Ten minutes without playing a song? Sure, let's do that a few times. She talked about her courting style ("I never chase"), being anorexic and bulimic, quizzed fans on the meaning of her late husband Kurt Cobain's lyrics, twice mentioned how The Washington Post hated her new album "Nobody's Daughter," and name-dropped a "TMZ" episode's worth of celebrities, from Trent Reznor to Diablo Cody to George Clooney, even Douglas Fairbanks. She asked what the lamest Hole song was and cursed at people when they gave the wrong answer.

That last part is kind of awesome.

* My Sex Professor tells us what we can learn about sex from Snoop Dogg. (She sticks to "Sexual Seduction," conveniently forgets his video work). "Sexual Seduction" aside, Snoop Dogg's messages on sex have been mixed. While he emphasizes the importance of keeping a pocket full of rubbers—particularly in a sex party situation—and illustrates how to set boundaries—"raise up off these n-u-ts, cause you gets none of these"—he also furthered a "G's up, hoes down" mentality when it comes to heterosexual sex. You don't have to love them hoes, but you don't have to call them that, either.

* Via The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, Audacia Ray talks about how to improve the lives of sex workers:

[youtube:v=jGTGmB0YfMo]

Photo via State Library of New South Wales

Last week I was on the train and happened to pick up the city paper. I started to read stories of other women being assaulted on the streets and their reactions. I had though about what I would do in that circumstance and what I should do, but never really believing it would happen to me.

Last evening while on a run, a older man grabbed my butt as I went past him. I was so stunned that I was a few strides away before I turned to find out if this may have been accident. As I turned to look at the person, the man had a look on his face that indicated he meant to do it. I confronted him by [saying] "that is completely inappropriate". My response apparently amused the man. He had this creepy smile that basically [conveyed] to me that he knew what he was doing and there is nothing I could do about it.  I looked around for a cop, but at that time there was none to be seen. I didn't know what to do at that point and left feeling helpless.

When I got home, I spoke to a few friends about it. All my male friends encouraged me to call it in. All my females said nothing or the older ones scolded me for even confronting him. I knew it was wrong and I knew it was assault, given the information in this series, so I called and reported the incident. It turns out there are a few of these guys around in my neighborhood.

I don't know what will come from my reporting the incident, but if he does it again and we continue to report these incident, [he] eventually will be caught and held accountable.

When the owners of New York's Town Tavern announced a D.C. outpost of their Greenwich Village club last fall, they made sure to tout the joint's exclusivity. The bar's opening would be an "inauguration." Its spot between Bourbon and Columbia Station—formerly occupied by "Irish pub"/frat magnet Nolan's—would situate it at the "heart of the Adams Morgan Heritage Trail." The interior would be designed with "prowess." The décor would be "rustic." The televisions, "plasma."

The bar's discerning door policy [PDF] ensured that the clientele would also be top-shelf. No garden variety Adams Morgan sad sack would pass through the Town Tavern's "master craftsman" mahogany gates. In the Tavern, all men would wear collared shirts and avoid a laundry list of other gear: no hats, no visors, no do-rags, no tank tops, no cutoffs, no sleeveless shirts, no jerseys, no sneakers, and no combat boots here. Only those with two forms of government-issued photo ID would be admitted. All "rude and/or obnoxious" patrons would be ousted. No "unaccompanied groups of males" would be allowed in. And while 21-year-old women would be free to enter, only men aged 23 and up would be able to join them.

Those last couple of provisions may treat the Town Tavern's patrons to the highest level of exclusivity—discrimination. The 1977 D.C. Human Rights Act prohibits discrimination in places of "public accommodation" based on, among other things, sex and age. The D.C. Office of Human Rights says it hasn't, in "recent history," fielded an age-discrimination complaint against the Town Tavern or any other D.C. bar. Neither has the Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration tackled this gender-lopsided age policy. But John Banzhaf III, a District law professor who has brought suits against hairdressers, dry cleaners, and bars' "Ladies Nights" for sex discrimination, says the door policy is a clear case of discrimination. "The act says that an institution cannot base its rules upon either the desires of patrons or the stereotypical characteristics of the discriminated group," says Banzhaf. "It seems to me that this fails on both counts."

Sean Barrett, the 32-year-old general manager of Town Tavern, says that the exclusionary policy is central to the bar's success. "History has taught us that it's the packs of 21-year-old fraternity kind of guys who seem to be causing all the problems with the ambience and the scene we're trying to set," says Barrett, who came to D.C. after four years in the restaurant's New York location, which has the same policy. "We're trying to cultivate a more sophisticated, mature kind of audience. We don't want guys carving initials in the walls, making obscene comments....By and large, those guys have a very high propensity for causing trouble, and we have a very high interest in avoiding trouble."

The Town Tavern's door policies—along with its "copper bar top and antique brass fixtures"—were tested for the first time earlier this month, with an "inauguration" which preceded President Barack Obama's by four days. On the bar's opening weekend, the façade of exclusivity quickly succumbed to the power of Adams Morgan's paying crowd. IDs were not checked twice, collared shirts not even once. Groups of males roamed, unaccompanied. The hefty $125 sticker price for the opening weekend's highlight—a black-tie-optional "inaugural ball"—was disregarded; a quick survey of the packed bar found not one patron who had actually paid up. They got what they paid for: The night's promised entertainment—an appearance by "the cast of MTV's The Hills"—fizzled to rumors that only Doug Reinhardt, a late-season hired love interest in the reality show spinoff, planned to show.

Instead, men dressed in puffy superhero costumes danced with girls in party dresses to Journey's greatest hits. It was not unlike any other night along the Adams Morgan "Heritage Trail."

Barrett says the lax enforcement of the strict rules allows for exceptions to the stereotype of the neighborhood's young men. "If a well-dressed, well-mannered 21- or 22-year-old male comes to the door, they'll be admitted," says Barrett. In his time with the Town Tavern, Barrett has fielded many complaints from younger men that the rule is discriminatory. "If the complaint is issued as a polite inquiry, then we'll let them in," he says. "But loud, obnoxious complaints—an individual yelling at [a bouncer] about being 21 or 22 with any elevation of their voice or their body mannerisms—that's the kind of attitude we're trying to stop right at the door." Although it's breaking its own rules with a wink and a nudge, the Town Tavern may still be defying the D.C. Human Rights Act's higher order. It doesn't matter that the bar may have yet to turn away its first 21-year-old male. The act also makes it unlawful to "print, circulate, post, or mail" any "statement, advertisement, or sign" that indicates that "an individual's patronage of, or presence at, a place of public accommodation is objectionable, unwelcome, unacceptable, or undesirable."

Despite the quibbles from male patrons and human rights experts, Barrett says the rule's female proponents far outweigh its detractors. "We hear nothing but rave, rave reviews from women," says Barrett. "They seem to feel much safer in that environment—they're less threatened than the alternative, which is being accosted by those 21-year-old just-out-of-college guys. From a female perspective, we've heard of a lot of loyalty to the location for that reason." Charlotte, a 26-year-old Adams Morgan resident who hit the Tavern on the bar's opening weekend, was interested—if not entirely convinced—by the concept. "As far as the 'exclusivity' goes, the place still looks pretty much like Nolan's-right up to the upstairs platform where I played many rounds of flip-cup with my kickball team," she says. "I think it's great they are trying to be a more 'exclusive' bar, but putting 'Adams Morgan' and 'exclusive' in the same sentence is kind of an oxymoron," she adds. "Though, being 26 myself, it would be nice to go to a place where I don't have to deal with annoying, drunk college boys, so I don't mind if it stays that way."

But the fraternal impulse does not expire at age 23, and no collared shirt can rein in the booze-fueled indiscretions of a crowded bar. One group of men, who outdid the dress code on opening weekend with black jackets and silk ties, claimed to have gained access to the exclusive club through the "connections" of one very large, very drunk friend. The friend granted an interview before stumbling outside to labor over an ill-advised text message. "I hear you're the guy with connections," I offered. "If by 'connections,' you mean 12-inch cock, then yeah," he replied.

One unaccompanied male—who declined to be named due to a friendship with a manager's relative—said that Town Tavern's door policies were all part of a plan to make it "the classiest bar in Adams Morgan." Despite the lack of competition, the Town Tavern has yet to achieve the title. "I hate to say this, but I think they just want a reason to turn people away at the door if they want to," he says. "I'm not sure the whole 'exclusive' thing is working, though."

1. New Adams Morgan Bar Loves the Ladies; Dudes, Not So Much, an examination of gender discrimination targeted against douchebags!

2. Rick Warren Don't Make No Sense, a nonsensical tired against Rick Warren's nonsensical invocation!

3. The Great Inaugural After-Party, dudes talking about beer and sex, for the President!

4. Woman Offers Ovary for Inaugural Ball Ticket, still going strong!

5. How to Crash an Inaugural Ball: Lessons from the Kentucky Bluegrass Ball, which prompted one reader to huff that I am "opposed to waht we just heard in the President’s speech."

Who needs the cast of the "Hills" when you have these famous figures of history and fantasy?

I ate one of these!

This nice lady did not know why dudes under 23 were not allowed in this bar, but she fed me shrimp!

Wolverine loves the camera!

... and this lady!

Wow!!!!

As local blogger Tim at the 42 reported yesterday, the 2323 18th St NW spot formerly occupied by Nolan's will open again this Saturday. The replacement, "The Town Tavern," has some gender-specific rules for entrance, and they're not benefiting Adams Morgan's storied dude population.

Here are some specifics: Women 21 and over can enter, but men must be 23. "No unaccompanied groups of males" are allowed. Most of the dress code applies to both genders (No Hats, No Visors, No Do-Rags, No Tank Tops, No Cut-Offs, No Sleeveless Shirts, No Jerseys, No Sneakers, No Combat Boots), but one rule is men only: they've gotta wear collared shirts.

These rules appear to be condescending toward the neighborhood's men, but really, I think they're more offensive to women. The collared shirts, the older men, the anti-friends-groups rule; they're all made assuming that this is what women want, and that ladies will be falling over themselves to line-up to experience these perfectly calibrated hook-up conditions.

Whether Town Tavern can convince Adams Morgan to abandon its free-for-all clusterfuck hook-up culture for a more refined, collared experience remains to be seen. Drink up Town Tavern's full set of rules, after the jump:

The Town Tavern Door Policy

Gentlemen: 23 Years & Above to Enter
Ladies: 21 Years & Above to Enter

You Must Present Two Valid Forms of Government Issued Photo Identification to Enter—No Exceptions

Dress Code Strictly Enforced (No Exceptions): Appropriate Attire Required At All Times. Gentlemen, Collared Shirts Only. No Hats, No Visors, No Do-Rags, No Tank Tops, No Cut-Offs, No Sleeveless Shirts, No Jerseys, No Sneakers, No Combat Boots.

No College ID Excepted Ever, No International Student ID Cards Accepted, No Form of Expired Identifications Accepted, No Paper Temporary Licenses Accepted Without Accompanying Picture ID, Backup Photo Identification Required On All Out Of State Licenses

No Unaccompanied Groups Of Males

Door Close and Lights Up 30 Minutes Prior to Closing Time

THE GOLDEN RULE: IF ANYONE IS BEING RUDE AND/OR OBNOXIOUS AT THE DOOR THEY WILL BE DENIED ENRTY FOR THAT NIGHT AND CAN WORK THE PROBLEM OUT WITH MANAGEMENT SOME OTHER TIME. ONCE A PERSON IS ASKED TO LEAVE THEY ARE PROHIBITED FROM RETURNING FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE NIGHT. THERE WILL BE NO CONSIDERATION FOR RE-ADMITTANCE.

Please Be Courteous And Respectful Of Our Neighbors

Management Reserves All Rights

Thank You For Joining Us Please Have a Safe & Responsible Evening

Photo by rachelvoorhees

Archie Battles, 24, was just getting started on the 18th Street strip at 2:30 a.m., well after Adams Morgan bars had dried up. "I get off late, and I like to go out at a fashionable time," says Battles. With last call called, he and two friends stand in position on the sidewalk, respectfully hollering at women who pass by.

Come inauguration week, those women-along with other drunken decisions concerning District sex lives-will be lubricated by two extra hours of bar time. To mark the occasion of Barack Obama's ascension to the presidency, the D.C. Council passed emergency legislation allowing bars to sell liquor until 4 a.m. from Jan. 17 to Jan. 21 (although some still have to adhere to their neighborhood voluntary agreements). You and an estimated 2 million to 4 million of your closest fellow Americans can now share in this historic event by becoming monumentally inebriated and attempting fumbling, ill-advised sex with each other. And if 4 a.m. rolls around and you have yet to zero-in on any promising prospects, never fear. Bars are free to stay open 24 hours for food sales during this magical time-meaning that you don't have to go home, and you can stay here.

So, how will D.C.'s single men spend their two extra hours with legal booze? That's an easy question for Battles, who aims to consume "more drinks," facilitating his pursuit of "partying like a rock star," a lifestyle that inevitably leads Battles and his buddies to "hit on women."

"Oh, I'll still be here," says Robert Thomason, a Washington Post news researcher who was nursing a pint and feeding the jukebox after Angles' last call on Saturday. Thomason predicts that with "crush level" crowds hitting Washington, area bars will be filled to capacity, and drunken hook-ups will follow. "We're talking the density of animals," says Thomason. "Any time you put that many animals together, they're going to get in each other's way." But the idea of being sidled up to several hundred drunken strangers won't deter him from hitting his favorite Adams Morgan bar-which is more than he can say for the U Street corridor. "It's better than being stabbed," he says.

Marc Engels, a 23-year-old UDC student who, at 2 a.m. on Saturday, was busy offering his girlfriend half-hearted Las Vegas wedding proposals, predicts that he'll spend the additional two hours "drinking more," he says. Engels, who hails from Germany, is more prepared for the inaugural bar hours than most. "Two a.m.? That's cute. In Germany, you can stay out until 7 a.m.," he says. Even a two-hour extension would be nothing more than a quaint attempt at a reasonable drinking policy by German standards. "In America, you say, 'Oh, we're drunk. Let's go to IHOP.'" In Germany, "it's not about getting really drunk," he says. "It's about looking to score."

One late-night Adams Morgan reveler, who identified himself as a secret service agent, was logging some off-duty sidewalk hours outside a Jumbo Slice (his friend was inside). Come inauguration, the 4 a.m. cutoff will allow him to "continue to drink, some more. Continue to get plowed." Although he says he will be busy on the job during inaugural daytime hours, he hopes the after-hours drinking will lead to extended hook-up opportunities. "I'm trying to hook one up tonight, shit," he says, before testing out a pickup line. "Feel my back pocket. Feel it," he says. "That's called a badge."

Though some bar-goers are hoping that extended drinking hours will aid them in inaugurating some new sex partners, the city's bartenders-those sober watchmen of the nightlife scene-aren't convinced more drinking will help their chances. Becca Schmidt, a bartender at Columbia Heights' Wonderland, says there are always those drinkers seeking late-night couplings who will exhaust their options. Some singles "hang out and hang out and hang out until our doorman kicks them out, finally, and they try somehow to get back in," she says. "When the bar clears out and it's just the people working there, it can be kind of intimidating [to try] to hit on the bartender. You're suddenly way outnumbered." But there's always the chance that late-night sex-seekers will find equally desperate hangers-on come last call. "There were a few nights when there were girls lined up along one side, boys on another...just like seventh grade," says Schmidt.

But though the booze will flow until 4 a.m., no emergency legislation will guarantee that the girls will follow. "I think it will actually be harder," says Roosh Valizadeh, local blogger and pickup expert. "With more time to drink, packs of guys are going to hit on girls with such bad drunk game that by 4 a.m., most girls are going to be completely unreceptive."

Photo by Darrow Montgomery.

Today is the day of reckoning for notorious Adams Morgan blues bar Madams Organ and its equally notorious owner, Bill Duggan. As Marc Fisher reports, D.C.'s Alcoholic Beverage Control Board will meet today to decide the fate of the bar's liquor license, a ruling that will rest upon the story of a couple wandering hands.

According to Fisher:

The story began late one night in June of 2007, when an Arlington woman was sitting at the Madam's bar with her boyfriend. Suddenly, she felt someone reach over and grab her side near her waist.

"Stop that," the woman said, "you can't touch me." She told her boyfriend what had happened, and before she knew it, the unknown man had touched her again.

According to testimony in the Superior Court case that grew out of the incident, the woman asked a bartender to intercede and was told that "they did not see anything happen and they were not going to kick him out and that we should all make friends." The woman and her boyfriend didn't like that solution, so they left. Outside, they found a D.C. police officer, who then accompanied the couple back inside the bar so they could point out the man who had committed the improper touching.

That's when the bar staff allegedly involved itself in some improper behavior of its own. When D.C. police arrested the patron, they noted that the "bar's bouncer claimed that the offending patron had already been kicked out of the premises, which he had not." Today, the ABC board will decide whether that amounts to "willful deception," or the bar being used for "an unlawful or disorderly purpose"—and whether that means Madams should be stripped of its license.

Duggan, of course, is calling the whole thing "totally absurd"—"A guy touching a woman on her thigh or hip in a bar–somehow, I don't think that's the first time that's happened in a bar," he told Fisher. But will the ABC board agree that one grabby bar patron isn't enough to sink the estimable Organ?