Author Archive for Tim Carman

My Dinner at Crystal City Restaurant: The World’s Thinnest Strip Steak

The wait for dinner at Crystal City Restaurant was nowhere near as painful as it was this afternoon at the Camelot Show Bar. I'm hard-pressed to explain why. It may be because the women weren't fully nude at CCR. It may be because the women didn't try to suck up as hard to you at CCR. It [...]

My Dinner at Crystal City Restaurant: A Bit of Vegas in Arlington

Crystal City Restaurant came highly recommended by an hospitality biz insider who's been known to date a stripper or two. He told me that CCR — as it's known among the regulars — has a good reputation for serving solid steaks along with its carousel of flesh on two stages.
The place looks rather harmless from [...]

My Lunch at Camelot Show Bar: The Jerk Chicken

The first decision you have to make at Camelot Show Bar is the same one you have to make at any restaurant, even the ones without naked women dancing on a stage: What do you want to drink? It's the question that the tall blonde in the skimpy bikini underwear has just put to me. The [...]

My Lunch at Camelot Show Bar: The Tape Worm Incident

I figured I had made it through the hardest part of this assignment when I actually took a deep breath and walked into Camelot Show Bar on M Street NW. I mean, just to duck under the Camelot canopy that juts onto the sidewalk like a giant canary penis, I had to saunter past the office workers standing [...]