It seems like only yesterday that the CockBib arrived on the adult novelty scene to protect us against the horror of sloppy blow jobs. The CockBib, which is exactly what it sounds like, was always there for us—ready to catch our spittle before it fell upon a man’s balls. And I was really hoping that the CockBib was going to be around for the Holiday gift-giving season, offering up winter-themed ball-protectors with phrases like “Ho, Ho, Ho, Suck My Dick,” or “I’m Dreaming of A Dry Ball Christmas,” or “Dry-Balls, Dry-Balls, Dry-Balls, I Made You Out of CockBib.” The possibilities are endless, people.

So imagine my surprise when I click over to the CockBib online store, only to find the Web site abandoned! What the fuck happened to the CockBibs?!

Read More “A Very CockBib Christmas” »

Megan Fox, everyone’s least-favorite super-hot chick, gets the New York Times Magazine treatment this week. We all know Megan Fox as that hot sassy vixen who claims to be female-empowered (“I would eat Robert Pattinson”) as she poses in wet bikinis for men’s magazines. And we know that that combination, uh, usually doesn’t go over so well among feminists. But here’s where things get trippy, you guys: Like, is it all an act? And what does it all mean?

Read More “Sexist Beatdown: Megan Fox’s Fake Boobies Find Their Voice” »

Do you wish that Rihanna and Chris Brown would put aside their differences and resume their abusive relationship already? No? Then you’ll hate WPGC’s newest concert promotion!

Read More “Radio Station Promotion Promises Rihanna and Chris Brown “Together Again”” »

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You know the guy who “accidentally” rapes women? The acquaintance who “misreads” the situation and “goes too far”? The longtime friend who genuinely thought you had consented, and is shocked when you tell him that, no, it was rape? Well, we’re not going to take that guy’s bullshit anymore. Thomas MacAulay Millar over at the Yes Means Yes! blog has crunched the numbers on “undetected” acquaintance rapists to figure out who this “accidental rapist” actually is.

Read More “Rapists Who Don’t Think They’re Rapists” »

“What do the ‘N’ word, the ‘W’ word and the ‘F’ word have in common?” asks Tim Bloedow of NoApologies.ca, a Web site dedicated to “punching a hole in political correctness.” According to Bloedow, refusing to use these racial, sexist, and homophobic slurs (the ‘F’ word isn’t fuck here) displays a “complete disregard for using God’s name in vain.”

Read More “Conservative Christian Says Censoring “N” Word Is Anti-Religious” »

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals may have a monopoly on sexualizing cuts of meat, but it takes a Czech surrealist artist to really romanticize steak. Because I am who I am, I can’t help but analyze the traditional mating rituals (and the tragic ending) on display between two cuts of beef in Jan Švankmajer’s 1988 short, Zamilované Maso, or Meat Love (via Pukeimmediately).

A run-down of their brief (and ill-fated) courtship, after the jump.

Read More “Sexy Meat Faces Frying Pan” »

Allison Henry had a rough year. A lot of  bad shit went down, but long story short, her vagina fell out. Today, Ami Angelowicz at The Frisky detailed Henry’s story. “I am going to spare you the details because I am squeamish and feel too pukey to write about them,” explains Angelowicz. She does pass along this little tidbit about Henry’s lady-bits, however: “As a consolation prize for all of her suffering (and it was a lot of suffering), she now has the vagina of a 13-year-old with perfect-looking labia.”

Allow me to list all the horrific medical details of Henry’s vagina-falling-out that are far, far less puke-tastic than the phrase “the vagina of a 13-year-old with perfect-looking labia.” From Henry’s testimony on MomLogic.com (emphasis mine):

Read More “Woman’s Vagina Falls Out, Replaces It With “Perfect 13-Year-Old Vagina”” »

Yesterday, the The D.C. Council Committee on Public Safety and the Judiciary performed a final mark-up on the language of the D.C. marriage bill, voting 4-to-1 to send the bill to a full council vote. The vote will likely take place early next month. Yay!

In committee, the bill’s religious exemptions were finalized to ensure that no religious organizations—including churches, schools, and nonprofits—would have to “provide services, accommodations, facilities, or goods” to aid in the solemnization, celebration, or promotion of same-sex marriage. Boo.

I can’t imagine that you folks are as interested in the implications of the religious exemption than Mike Riggs and I are, but the full language [PDF] of that portion of the bill is after the jump.
Read More “D.C. Marriage Bill’s Religious Exemption Finalized” »

The holiday season is approaching, which means it’s time to roll out more products to help our little girls feel very bad about their bodies. (That, or pregnant). Over the years, toy-makers have boldly invented new mechanisms by which they can make money off of the body consciousness of young girls. Below, inventors push girls to look simultaenously curvier (grow boobs already!), skinnier (but make sure to lose your baby weight!), sexily reproductive (be six years old AND skinny AND pregnant!) and matronly (breastfeed babies with the boobs you don’t have!).

The Weight Loss Doll, 1991

Read More “Holiday Gifts for the Body-Conscious Little Girl” »