The Sexist

Goodbye!

C_BIB-1

In the two years I've written The Sexist, I've offended Catholics, sorority sisters, former homosexuals, Tucker Max fans, breast massagers, a child's sense of innocence, the Huffington Post, heterosexual men, librarians, and the producer of a novelty product designed to keep a man's balls dry when receiving oral sex. And all I got was this CockBib.

OK. Two CockBibs:

C_BIB-2

The CockBibs—for the uninitiated, the product description clarifies that "BASICALLY... Its A Bib With A D*ck Hole In It!"—arrived unexpectedly by post last Friday, after more than a year of silence from the mysterious inventor of the novelty sexual accessory.

When we last left our inventor, he was defending the "pure comedy" of a baby-sized bib designed to inform your sexual partners that your penis "may cause" them "trauma"—or maybe just "kill" their "pussy." He was also hard at work planning an upcoming line of CockBibs aimed at women ("They will have saying like 'You call that a D*ck'…LOL," he told me at the time). Then, the inventor ceased returning e-mails—and the CockBib website expired.

Fourteen months later: Not one, but two CockBibs, wrapped in plastic and shipped in a  manila envelope with a return address label for a cell phone parts company arrive at my desk. The proportions are generous: I can slide the designated penis hole on these things clear past my elbow. Touché, inventor. But what does it all mean? "Prepare for the driest blow job of your life"? Or perhaps: "Time to throw in the CockBib."

I'm afraid it's the latter.

And so, this will be my final post on The Sexist. And I'd like to thank every person who read this blog and commented on it and shared their stories with me and argued with me and fact-checked me and professionally gchatted with me and tolerated my CockBib jokes here over the past two years. Next month, I'll begin covering sex and gender for the yet-to-launch local website TBD.com. Until then, you can find me on my personal e-mail, or, as always, on Twitter.

As for The Sexist: After a time, the comments sections on these posts will begin to shut their lights and close their doors. You don't have to go home, but you might want to mosey on over to the rest of the content the City Paper has to offer. And stay tuned: In the future, the blog may yet rise again, not unlike the CockBib, with another sex-and-gender columnist at the helm.

Photographs graciously taken by Darrow Montgomery.

  • http://ataraxiatheatre.com Joseph Hewitt

    This blog has had a good run. Thank you, Amanda, and I can't wait to see your new digs at TBD.

  • TheFirstMarty

    First of all Amanda, I'll miss the Sexist. Seriously. I've never read anything like it. I look forward to seeing what you'll do at TBD - they seem to be recruiting some great people.

    Secondly, retarded commenters. If you knew how to read, you'd know the TBD site hasn't launched yet - it says so right at the top of the site - so whatever you're seeing isn't what Amanda's leaving to do. Idiots.

  • Ken

    I always found your column to be pro-woman at the expense of men so I cant say Im sorry to see you leave. Many times your column seemed biased and slanted against men; sometimes deservedly so, but I found some of it misandrist. I hope in the future a similar gender blog is reinstated but with a more balanced viewpoint.

  • http://hystericalmarissa.blogspot.com MissaA
  • Emmy

    I agree with the other NOOOOOOOOOOOOs out there! Amanda, you are awesome and your writing is consistently thoughtful and, well, awesome, and I hope you have tons of success and receive lots of dollars wherever you end up. Hang that CockBib proudly, lady! You've earned it!

  • Julia

    Amanda, this really makes me sad. The Sexist made me laugh, think critically, and was all-around thought-provoking and entertaining. You're a great reporter and you wrote the kind of stuff I'd love to write one day.

  • Emily

    say it ain't so!

    I will always appreciate your snark, your humor, and your insightfulness!

  • Jess G.

    Aw, you'll be missed, Amanda!

  • Rudedogg

    I'll miss your bolg amanda

  • firefly

    NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
    ...You'll still be on Tiger Beatdown right?

  • http://guyinism.com DirkJohanson

    I'll miss having one of my favorite outlets to pick apart the ridiculous things that women say with respect to gender issues.

    No, I really will.

    Peace.

  • chris

    What?! Aw man, this is so sudden! I'll miss your blogging here so much, but I'm sure I'll see you around the internets what with the blog circles I travel in.

  • John Dias

    My plan worked out, then.

  • http://twitter.com/cdog_ cdog

    I'm very sad to see you go, but I hope the future brings great things for you, and that your new gig is worthy.

  • sock puppet

    Thanks for bringing visibility to and conducting a forum for many difficult issues.

  • http://mfred.tumblr.com Mfred

    I join the long chorus of NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!s

    It has been a pleasure reading your blog and I will follow your new writings unto the ends of the earth.

  • http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com Ally Garrett

    Oh sad! I only just made my way over here as a recommendation of 'Where to go now that Jezebel has gotten so craptacular'. Best of luck!

  • http://www.myspace.com/MisfitRadioOne Imani The Misfit

    What are you serious? This is terrible!

    This is Imani The Misfit and you gave me my first article as Maryland's First Bisexual Porn Star Rapper, because of you, alot of doors opened for me. I am still so grateful that you did that for me. I am sad that you are quitting because you wrote great articles. But Im sure you will be great wherever you go. Good luck

    Imani The Misfit

  • Melanie

    I don't live in DC. I'm not gonna yell or protest or start a boycott. You are the only reason I read the city paper, so bye Amanda, and bye paper. Gonna miss you Hess!

  • Emily S

    Aw, that's so disappointing ='( I'm not a DC resident, therefore don't read the rest of the paper, but I still loved this blog.

  • Dave

    So long to The Sexist, best of luck in your next adventure Amanda.

  • noodlez

    WELL I'LL BE DAMNED!!

    YOU AND MS.MATHIS ON THE SAME SQUAD? TRUST AND BELIEVE I WILL BE COMMENTING AND PUSHING THE ENVELOPE WILL ALL MY FAKE ASS DRY HUMOR AND PUSH BACK ON ALL THINGS I PARTIALLY DISAGREE WITH!!!

    HOPEFULLY I CAN KEEP OFF THE BANNED LIST FOR AT LEAST A FEW MONTHS.

    UNTIL THEN MS. MANDY HERE IS A LIL SOMETHIN A PUT TOGETHER FOR YA

    Our quibbles about homosexual marriage was much fun
    Your blog posts @ washcitypaper is now done

    Until I make comments on your new site
    I hope your tolerance on butt feels will open up
    Not saying that’s it’s alright
    What I am saying is keep the topics moving don’t get stuck

  • http://strippednuts.tumblr.com DoctorJay

    party on!

  • Keith B

    Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Viva WCP!

  • Resident85

    Sorry to see you go. I recommended this blog to a few coworkers who were new to DC and dealing with street harassment.

    I learned a lot from you. Thanks for the insight.

  • brit

    This blog was always a nice little ray of hope for me in a city that didn't always feel like home. You're awesome, and I can't wait to see what you get up to next!

  • erik

    Although I wish you success in the future, I cant say Im sorry to see you leave.

    Your "pro-woman" stance made for predictable commentary. I would have liked a little more balance in your posts.

  • Vanessa

    Very sad to see you depart from creating such amazing work, but I look forward to following you on whatever it is you publish, as long as it's something. Reading this was such a change from ordinary articles and blog posts. I loved it, and I loved reading your take on issues.

    Well done Amanda.

  • Ja

    Amanda, this is a curiously abrupt post from someone who typically has so much to say. Care to explain why you're in such a hurry to leave?

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