The Sexist

LUG’s Lament Video Corner


On the subject of "Lesbians Until Graduation," and all the stigma attached to the label, a commenter points to the Two Nice Girls song on the subject. A sampling:

I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer
My life was so much simpler when I was sober and queer
But the love of a strong hairy man has turned my head I fear
And made me spend my last ten bucks on birth control and beer

It concludes: "there's certain thrills that lesbian love simply cannot supply / Like paying for abortions from sperm gone awry." Indeed.

  • anon


  • nobodyouknow

    Emily Nagoski's thoughs on the stigma of LUG is misplaced. She writes with sensitivity about the pain of getting spurned, but as an outsider from the Gay and Lesbian community. As the bis will tell you, straights think you are gay and gays think you are a spy. The stigma comes not from orientation, but from the betrayal of the community, and is not a small thing.

    I have always loved 2NG. The song is a humorous but cautionary tale to Lesbians, about those that turn their back on their community.

  • TJ

    @nobodyouknow, you are absolutely right about the gay and lesbian community's take on bisexual women and men. We view bis with a cautious and not-at-all trusting eye. No lesbian or gay man (but I mostly speak for the lesbians since I am one) wants to feel like they are not enough for their lover, and that's exactly what it feels like when she/he leaves you for someone of the opposite gender. Hence the reason why a lot of gays and lesbians refuse to date bisexuals.

    It is much more complex than how I am explaining it. However, there is a stigma, as nobodyouknow says, as unfortunate as it is.

  • Katie

    @TJ: but it's cool if a lesbian leaves you for another woman? What's the difference? It sucks when someone loves leaves you for somebody else, period. I am not sure if you're saying you support the mistrust, so I won't go there, but that mistrust definitely isn't cool.

    And as for nobododyyouknow...if you're suggesting (again, hard to tell) that bisexuals who date/sleep with men is some sort of "betrayal" of the LGBTQ community, then you don't know what bisexuality means.

    Again, I wasn't totally clear on either of your statements so I don't want to preemptively jump down anyone's throats, but I started to get worried.

  • nobodyouknow

    @Katie: You may rest assured that I have personal experience with the meaning of "bi". And by community, I mean the circle of L/G acquaintances beyond one's immediate friends. This circle of people is where "community" has its expression. This is the pool from which I make new friendships and relationships. And yes, there is a stigma toward those that have betrayed their common orientation and experiences. Why? Because the cohesiveness of the community is partly based on a reaction against the dominating, oppressive straight world.