Feeding the Homeless Has Never Been So Sexy
Want to help poor people while secretly scoping the charity "scene" for prime hubby material? Ask Miss A contributor Laura Swanstrom Reece has penned a guide to D.C.'s "charity circuit" for women interested in reaping some personal benefits from their selflessness. Work the circuit, ladies—feeding the homeless has never been so sexy! Or strange. A quick primer on a socialite's most social of charity options:
Interested in putting your sex appeal at work to cure dementia in the elderly? Suit up for Blondes vs. Brunettes, a "powder-puff football game" (ew) that pits the only two flavors of women against each other, for Alzheimer's. Cute boys of both hair colors serve as coaches. Bonus: The organization will also help you "stay fit."
Looking for a more exclusive charitable organization to add to your MRS resume? Try The Madison. This local civic organization, which only accepts 20-somethings, caps membership at 100 local ladies and requires members to "possess a college degree" and "have never been married." No leftovers!
If you have been divorced, resign yourself to joining Single Volunteers of DC, which requires only that members be "single . . . not married, and currently not in a committed relationship." Volunteers must also be ready to mingle. Members, paradoxically, must always be prepared to find romance with fellow volunteers—"If you are unable to enter into a dating relationship at this time, you should not volunteer with us"—at which point, presumably, they must cease their charity work with the organization. No kids allowed, but the recently separated are free to join—as long as they are prepared "to date others" and are "honest about your status" with dates. You know: "Cathy, before we deliver these hot meals to the elderly, I thought you should know that I'm still legally married."
Really want to help feed the homeless? For a charitable organization devoid of juicy deets about its bumpin' social scene, try Martha’s Table, where volunteers are always needed to help "at-risk children, youth, families and individuals in the DC area" by facilitating with "educational programs, food, clothing and enrichment opportunities." Huh.