The Sexist

The Morning After: I’m Not A Feminist But Edition

* NOM's hetero-happy summer bus tour will be shadowed by counter-events organized by Freedom to Marry. The marriage rights group will  respectfully disagree with NOM's "one man, one woman" message at every stop the NOM bus makes. Unfortunately, no actual gay bus will be stalking NOM's anti-gay bus across the highways of this great nation.

Fugitivus [via Figleaf] on rape victims who drop charges, refuse to participate with investigations, and decline to testify:

I am sure that in this wide, wide world of people, there are rape victims out there who truly want nothing more than for their rapists to go free without punishment, without retribution, without justice. That’s their right. But I don’t think I’ve actually heard any of them. Instead, what I hear is, “I just want this whole thing dropped. I don’t want it prosecuted. Every time this gets brought up I get harassed.” Or, “I don’t want this prosecuted. I don’t want to be called a slut in court.” Or, “I don’t want this prosecuted. I could never win, I don’t have the money, and nobody would believe me.” Or, “I don’t want this prosecuted. He would kill me. His friends would come after me.” Or, “I don’t want this prosecuted. I can’t stand to see him every day in court.”

None of those statements can be reasonably boiled down to, “Rape victim doesn’t want her rapist to come to justice.” They can be reasonably boiled down to, “Rape victim suspects pursuit of justice will feel worse than getting raped did.”

I think it can also take forms like these: "I don't want this prosecuted. It's not something to ruin another person's life over." Or: "I don't want this prosecuted. He says it didn't happen that way, and maybe it didn't." Or: "I don't want this prosecuted. I'm not worth all of this attention."

* Olivia Munn talks to Salon about posing for Playboy (among other things):

I don't find myself to be the kind of person who is easily swayed. I could see what this guy was doing. But if I pose for Maxim, I know that if my nipple accidentally slips out, they can't publish that. With Playboy it's different. I understand that the criticism is: "Yeah, but she posed for it anyway." Well, that's like saying, "Oh, you were asking for it cause you dressed a certain way."

* Georgetown Girl collects the views of women who say "I'm not a feminist, but . . ."

* Jamelle Bouie on "acting white":

as a nerdy black kid who was accused of "acting white" on a fairly regular basis, I feel confident saying that the charge had everything to do with cultural capital, and little to do with academics. If you dressed like other black kids, had the same interests as other black kids, and lived in the same neighborhoods as the other black kids, then you were accepted into the tribe. If you didn't, you weren't. In my experience, the "acting white" charge was reserved for black kids, academically successful or otherwise, who didn't fit in with the main crowd. In other words, this wasn't some unique black pathology against academic achievement; it was your standard bullying and exclusion, but with a racial tinge.

  • annajcook

    Nice round-up of links!

    Just wanted to let you know that the top quote from Figleaf is actually a long quotation he posted from Harriet J. at Fuigitivus. You can see the original quote at:

    Whatever blog software Figleaf uses, his block quotations don't show up as indented on Google Reader, I've noticed, so it's often really hard to tell what's a quote and what's his actual commentary :)!

  • drsnacks

    Thanks for that Jamelle Bouie link. He's right; yet online the discussion otherwise takes for granted that black kids actually sing praises to whites through their insults of each other. That a white person can actually without any self-awareness think that upon hearing "white" used as a vicious epithet the intent is to tar the subject with "educated, articulate, studious, etc." would be incredibly galling if arrogant white cluelessness wasn't so typical.

  • Amanda Hess

    Thanks anna! I've corrected the post.

  • Native JD

    So "acting white" is the same or similar to being a "nerd or geek"?

  • drsnacks

    No it means "acting white". If you are a Native it can't be that hard to think up a few negative stereotypes from the perspective of someone who isn't white.

  • TJ

    I heard the "white" insult hurled at me all the time when I was a little girl, and it was precisely used to alienate. Because my mother was in the educational system (as was my grandmother), there wasn't even a thought about using slang and splicing verbs in my house. Of course, that translated into a habit (a good one, I think) outside the home, and I was picked on for it. And let me tell you... it sucked.

    I agree with you, drsnacks, the discussion does make a sweeping assumption that those same black kids are praising whites for what is considered insults to us. That is not true, at least not in my situation. There is no praise to anyone; to the kids who were bullying me, it created just as much of a guffaw if they heard a white person speaking properly.

    I think, based on my experiences, the use of the acting/speaking/dressing white insult was used solely as a bullying tactic. The racist tinge to the insult, I think, has to do with the generalized negative attitude that some blacks have when it comes to white people. So, it's not just that you've been insulted by saying that you are trying to act like something that you are not, but you are acting like something that we don't like.