The Sexist

PFOX Demands Elena Kagan Out Herself as “Ex-Gay”

People who actually identify their sexual orientation as "ex-gay" are a rare breed, but Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX) nevertheless manages to ferret out former homosexuals everywhere. Take the organization's most recent mission: For Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan to out herself as used-to-be gay. Here's the pitch, from self-identified ex-gay Greg Quinlan:

According to Quinlan's analysis, it doesn't make sense that Kagan is gay:

President Obama's nominee for Supreme Court Justice, Elena Kagan, has steadfastly refused to divulge her sexual orientation, despite a CBS News blog item claiming that Kagan is known in Harvard circles as a lesbian.  In response, the White House blasted CBS News for its "lies" and CBS pulled the item off its website.

But if Kagan is a lesbian, why would the White House insist that she is not when Obama made gay rights part of his platform for change?  In issuing this month's gay pride presidential proclamation, Obama stated he is "proud to be the first President to appoint openly LGBT candidates to Senate-confirmed positions in the first 100 days of an Administration."

So Kagan and her alleged lesbianism should not be an issue for the White House or the Democrats, who control the Senate vote for Kagan's judicial nomination.

And it doesn't make sense that she's not gay:

Some of Kagan's friends have told Politico that she is frustrated by the persistence of the gay rumors, but "worried that denying them could imply some anti-gay prejudice." But this makes no sense either-isn't the whole point of the gay rights movement to allow people to be free to declare who they really are, without stigma? If the only way for a middle-aged woman to declare that she is straight is to marry a man, wouldn't that be a step backward, and not forward, in liberal gender politics?

THEREFORE:

There is, however, another possibility. Could it be that Kagan is ex-gay?  That would explain the White House insistence on Kagan's heterosexuality and Kagan's silence about her past sexual preference.

That's right, Obama has just nominated the woman who will be our nation's first closeted ex-gay Supreme Court justice. No other explanation makes sense. Now, we must work to make Kagan our first openly ex-gay Supreme Court justice. On that day, our country will finally grant heterosexuals the same respect it gives gay people:

As an ex-gay myself, I sympathize with Kagan and the Obama administration.  I have had to face taunts, threats, and phone calls to my employer demanding that I be fired.  There is no hate like that directed against the ex-gay community. And the President knows it.

. . . So Ms. Kagan, do not be afraid to come out of the closet.  Regardless of our political differences, ex-gays like me, and maybe you, should be able to live openly just like when we were homosexuals.

Comments

  1. #1

    sorry, but heteros: you be f'ing CRAZY, yo.

  2. #2

    So she should go from the living room into the closet and then from the inside of that closet go into another closet and then come out of that one?

  3. #3

    LOL! Sounds like what PFOX really wants is to flush her down the toilet.

  4. #4

    hahaha @kza. For PFOX, it's not a closet anymore, it's a gigantic proverbial mansion of sexuality!

  5. #5

    How many ex-gays have been killed just for being ex-gay? Because as long as the answer remains "0" there is plenty of hate for ex-gays: it is the same hatred reserved for self-righteous bigots everywhere by people who don't then resort to violence.

    Unlike, say, the hatred directed at actual gay people. Or at women. Or at trans women. Or at African-Americans. All of which have manifested as murder.

    There may be no hatred like that directed at ex-gays, but only because that hatred is so mild and is completely balanced by the praise and rewards heaped upon them by conservatives.

  6. #6

    I am in constant danger of accidentally flagging kza because I've gotten accustomed to the button under the comment being the "like" button.

  7. #7

    Nugget of wisdom: "If the only way for a middle-aged woman to declare that she is straight is to marry a man, wouldn’t that be a step backward, and not forward, in liberal gender politics?"

    By god, he's right!

    Nugget of bat-shit crazy: "There is no hate like that directed against the ex-gay community."

    D-:

  8. #8

    Nugget of bat-shit crazy: “There is no hate like that directed against the ex-gay community.”

    EXCEPT THE HATE DIRECTED AGAINST THE GAY COMMUNITY. BECAUSE THEY ARE THE *SAME COMMUNITY*. THE EX-GAYS EVEN TALK ABOUT 'OUTING' LIKE THEY'RE GAY. Sorry about the allcaps but UGH, IT'S FRUSTRATING.

  9. #9

    Er, I'm not yelling at you, Marty, if that comment comes off that way, jsyk. Just yelling at the crazy.

  10. #10

    I am attempting to follow the logic, just as an exercise in brain-bending.

    . . .

    Nope, brain hurts too much.

    Oh PFOX, you investigative sleuths, you.

  11. #11

    @Em: Damn, I want to live in that mansion!

  12. #12

    My comments need a "like" option.

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