The Sexist

The Morning After: Non-Consensual Sex Blogging Edition

* A new sex blogger writing for THE LINE asks: Does writing about your sexual experiences veer into non-consensual territory?

how could I write on a blog, about consent of all things, personal details about MY sex life, which of course involve other people? That I’d share without their knowledge or consent? Or course I won’t use their names, but a hookup is (or should be) built on a foundation of trust and communication. Part of that is the assumption (and hope) that one party won’t share private details with everyone they know or go bragging to a vast amount of people—which is essentially what I would be doing by sharing it here. Outside of writing on a blog, in my real life, I want to be open with the people around me – especially the ones I’m sleeping with.

How can I talk about my sexual experiences and not cross the line?

I suppose the obvious question is why the only option presented is to share these details without first obtaining the "knowledge or consent" of his sex partners?

* Emily Nagoski argues that men have higher sexual motivation than women. Commenters get into it on the nature v. nurture tip.

* Amanda Marcotte submits an abbreviated history of anti-feminists who call themselves feminists. From the "'Independent Feminism' Anti-Feminism" section:

Iconic Leader: Camille Paglia

Other examples: Christina Hoff-Summers, Wendy McElroy, Kathleen Parker, Heather MacDonald.

Basic argument: The important work of feminism is over, and whatever movement is left exists primarily to demonize men and the awe-inspiring male sexual spirit.

Classic quote: From Camille Paglia: "You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle of sex comes from the danger of sex. You can be overpowered."

* The Chicago Tribune thinks Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger plays hockey like a girl. So they gave him a girlie name and put a little girlie skirt on him. GIRLS. THERE IS NO WORSE FATE.

Photo via the Library of Congress

  • Kim Chi Ha

    i love that photograph

  • DC Grrl

    The Chrissy Pronger poster was a disgrace. I can't believe The Trib sank to that level. Very nice to hear Pronger's appropriate response, but I sure hope the Tribune apologizes.

  • Simon C.

    Possibly the first classy move of Pronger's career.

  • Lizrd

    UGH!!! As a Philly sports die hard, this shit irritates the ever loving shit out of me. Why is Chris Pronger a girl? Why did Shane Victorino have a skirt on in the NY Post? A better question: WHY DOES THIS COUNT AS SPORTS JOURNALISM?!?!

    Fuck this shit! Being a "girl" is NOT A BAD THING! Why can't sports related people resist the temptation to use the feminine as a pejorative. Guess what dudes? Girls watch sports and play sports!We make up a large portion of the sports going public! GET OVER IT!

    Sorry. Seething!

  • kza

    I think guys play sports better than girls. So that's why they say players they don't like play like girls perhaps?

  • Katie

    @kza: ugh. I am so not in the mood to get into a debate as to whether men, on the whole, have any more athletic talent than women, on the whole - for one, it's sort of impossible to know, given the historical discrepancy between how female participation in sports is encouraged/supported/funded as compared to male participation. So moving along, the poster in question didn't propose that this guy "plays" like a girl (which would be bad enough on its own). They proposed that he IS a girl, by feminizing his name and giving him a short skirt. They made an enemy inferior by making him female. Because he sucks, he's a girl...ergo, girls suck. The implications of that move are damaging enough without even bringing gender-specific talent-in-sports into the picture.

  • Lizrd

    @Katie Thank you. I wasn't in the mood to do that run down.

  • kza

    I'm not saying anyone has more athletic talent than anyone else. In the case of a physical sport like hockey, men probably have the advantage.

  • Katie

    Do you read what you write? Because you did just actually say "I think guys play sports better than girls." What sports aren't physical? Did you even read what I wrote or are you gonna stay on this track? so many questions!

  • Lizrd

    @kza, that's really not the point. And I think you understand that. The problem is that this kind of thing is used to insinuate "GIRLS. THERE IS NO WORSE FATE." Like nothing could be worse than being aligned with the feminine. THAT'S why this is problematic. This is not a debate over the physical prowess of the sexes.

  • kza

    Never mind. Fuck the Tribune!