The Sexist

The Morning After: Birth Control Sabotage Edition

* SAFER Campus asks why reproductive coercion—or birth control sabotage—ain't criminalized yet. One woman shares her story, naturally, on Facebook:

A recent event has caused me to question [what] it means to be sexually assaulted . . . While sleeping with a guy [he] decided to take off the condom without me realizing it and when he was fingering me he pulled out my nuvaring without telling me. I saw [my]  nuvaring on the ground and he admittedly told me that he had pulled it out. The next day I wrote Eric an email asking him to never contact me again.

I think that birth control sabotage should absolutely be considered sexual assault; consenting to one sex act doesn't imply consenting to all of them, and consenting to sex with and without a condom are two very different things. (Just in the interest of clarification: You can remove the NuvaRing for up to three hours and still be prevented from pregnancy).

* Alyssa Rosenberg is eager for Hollywood to write some gay love stories that aren't expressly political.

* Violet Blue points us to "Super Sexy CPR," a video that uses super porny imagery to teach the elements CPR. Perfect for the next time you need to resuscitate a lingerie model, but sexily.

* My Sex Professor gives you a primer on incorporating the foot into your sex life.

* Nerve ranks the sexiest women and men of LOST. You fools are so wrong about Eloise.

* Susannah Breslin with a great essay on Max Hardcore, the porn giant currently imprisoned on obscenity charges:

I had seen Max’s movies. I found them terrifically depressing. To be clear, I have seen many, many (far too many, really, come to think of it) movies that fall into the explicit, depraved, and explicitly depraved category. I’ve seen cophrophagy porn, senior citizen porn, a porn in which Ron Jeremy appeared as a baby in an adult diaper and a bonnet, midget porn, world-record setting gangbang porn (I was present for one of those, and it’s hard to say which was worse), so-called “ready to drop” pregnancy porn, and a movie in which a series of young women had sex with men and then promptly threw up onto a black tarp spread over a sagging bed after taking what I assumed to be Ipecac. Suffice to say, it takes a lot to shock this reporter when it comes to porn movies. Max’s movies aren’t shocking — not most significantly. They are sad. Everyone suffers. No one is happy. If joy is located at one end of the spectrum, this is where its opposite resides. This is the monstrous mating of unfulfilled longing and untenable hate. Their progeny: an abomination.

(Unconvinced? Try this.)

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

  • http://bikegroggery.blogspot.com groggette

    I still can't wrap my head around the fact the he took out her birth control. I think people are assholes for fucking up their own bc (without the partners knowledge), but deliberatly messing up someone elses? What the fuck is wrong with that guy and his ilk?
    I guess I should take consolation in knowing that taking out my bc would require major surgery, but I would have flipped the fuck out if someone took out my nuvaring while I had that.

  • http://bikegroggery.blogspot.com groggette

    Amanda, did my comment wind up in spam? I didn't have any links but I was swearing just a tad :)

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess
  • Pamo

    While sleeping with a guy [he] decided to take off the condom without me realizing it and when he was fingering me he pulled out my nuvaring without telling me.

    ... I'm going to have to pretend I didn't read that for the rest of the day, or I may terrify the office with my scream.

  • http://bikegroggery.blogspot.com groggette

    Thanks Amanda!

  • http://www.sexreally.com,www.eldiablito.com Anya Alvarez

    Hey!

    This is Anya Alvarez, the girl from the story. Someone linked me to this site and I just want to say thanks for the support! I encourage you to spread the word and join the facebook group Standing up To Idiots and on twitter @AgainstIdiots

    Visit http://www.knowmoresaymore.org to learn more about birth control sabotage!!

  • Melanie

    The birthcontrol thing blows my mind, but even setting that aside for a moment. He took of the condom!! Who knows what diseases he subjected her to!

  • cmb

    Is there any legal precedence for prosecuting people like this?
    Removing the condom is vile and wrong, but something I've at least (unfortunately) heard of. Removing her nuvaring is incredibly bizarre and disturbing.
    Were both of these actions for the sake of his pleasure? We've all heard men say it isn't as good with a condom on, and perhaps he objected to the presence of the nuvaring where only his penis belonged. Or was he trying to impregnate her? Or is he just a fucking sociopath?

  • Marty

    Late to the party, but:

    Acknowledging that her article was really quite good overall, I take great exception to Breslin's juxtaposing "corphrophagy porn" (sic) and "senior citizen" porn as equally representative examples under the "explicit, depraved, and explicitly depraved category." The suggestion is that in a sexual context being 70+ (or 80+ or 90+ or whatever) is as "depraved" as consuming feces. Or apparently vomiting onto a tarp. Is there a specific age at which a person's sex appeal literally becomes that of a pile of poop/vomit, or does it happen slowly over time?

    I know I'm being a little dramatic, and I know there is a lot of "granny" porn out there that is super problematic, but if the issue is exotification/objectification, then her list should also include all the racially gross horrifying porn out there, which it doesn't. The way it stands now it just seems to imply that "senior citizens" and "midgets" are gross.

    In short: Old people and people with dwarfism fuck. Get over it.

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