The Sexist

The Morning After: Horny Dude IM Edition

* Older, but good: Sex blogger Hey Epiphora on why writing about sex is not an invitation for harassment. Of interest to any reader who has ever, ever considered sending a message like this one to his favorite writer:

Dude: horny?

* Holly Kearl of Stop Street Harassment writes an op-ed on harassment of women runners, and offers some thoughts for positive action:

– Men, don't harass women—including whistling and honking.

– Everyone should take women's harassment complaints seriously.

– Everyone should help women they see being harassed.

– Women should report harassers.

– We can brainstorm creative ways to deal with harassers, such as issuing fake citations (until real laws are passed).

* Via Jen at Gold Sound, a quick hit on rape advice by Katie Arb:

If we are so concerned though about young men getting drunk at a party, sleeping with another drunk woman, and later being falsely accused of rape (through misunderstanding, I suppose), then why do we direct all of our “advice” only at women? Why not recommend young men take the same advice that we give young women? Don’t get drunk, don’t go to parties/clubs, don’t engage in any sexual behavior at parties, and whatever you do, don’t go home with a girl or invite her to your room.

* Via Salon, it's the action-figure Brontë sisters. When their powers combine, they become a Brontësaurus:

[youtube:v=-NKXNThJ61]

* Barney Frank says he supports transgender protections in ENDA, so why the fuck is he talking like this?:

“There’s no chance of doing it without it,” he said of the transgender protections.

Frank said he’s told wavering Democrats that “the principle is the same. It’s discrimination.”

He said concessions were made in the drafting of the language to address moderates’ concerns. For instance, Frank said, transgender people with “one set of genitals” would not be able to go to a bathroom for people with another set of genitals.

And, Frank said, they also would have to have a “consistent gender presentation” in order to be able to sue for discrimination.

“They can’t sit there with a full beard and a dress,” Frank said.

Photo via The National Archives UK

  • Katie

    So there's going to be a checkpoint at bathroom doors where somebody (Barney Frank?) checks everyone's genitals before they are allowed to perform bodily functions? And it's ok to discriminate against bearded dress-wearers? Transgendered folks: ok, so long as they conform to the gender binary, and are post-op. Ugh Barney, come ON!

  • Crazy Cat Lady

    What about bearded ladies? Haven't they endured enough through history without this guy singling them out?

  • http://bikegroggery.blogspot.com groggette

    “consistent gender presentation”
    In other words, transition has to happen in private, away from the "normal" people who might get confused. Oh and also, you have to have the money, a sympathetic doctor, and the inclination to go through major surgery or else it's A-OK if people discriminate against you.

    I have cis male friends that sometimes wear women's clothes; sometimes they're clean shaven, sometimes not. I also know some cis women who have a not insignifigant amount of facial hair. Something tells me that in most cases they wouldn't get half the harrasment about "proper bathroom usage" that a trans man or woman would.

  • http://gudbuytjane.wordpress.com/ gudbuytjane

    Oh, Barney Frank, really? I mean, the transphobia there is self-evident, but so is a heap of classism, sexism, misognyny, and other reminders that apart from being gay Mr. Frank is still cis and male and privileged.

  • Ben

    Amanda, I'm sure you're already on this, but:
    http://www.grist.org/article/2010-05-10-love-seats-flirt-with-creating-better-bus-times/

    What the fuck? Good? Bad? Insane?

  • Native JD in DC

    Ben, that's exactly what this city needs.

  • Richard

    Frank is talking about the political reality that the bill will not pass if it didn't have these limiting provisions. Unfortunately, I think he's right. Also, watering down the transgender portions might not even be enough to get it through the Senate.

    Although I think Frank says stupid things sometimes, he also talks relatively frankly about things.

  • D W

    This is really just part of Frank's years-long political agenda to separate the T from the LGB.

  • M

    Just a quick note that that blurb about rape advice is actually by Katie Arb, from an a comment on a piece she wrote about victim blaming.

    http://www.thedailygetup.com/up/politics/blaming-victims-wont-stop-rape

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess

    Thanks M. I regret the error! I've update the post.

  • Eo

    Some areas of the mens movement do advise young men on how to avoid getting falsly accused. One blogger goes as far as to advise avoiding certain US universities altogether.

    The main problem is seems is that impressionable young women are being taught to construe any experience with a male that they feel negative about as a form of abuse, eg. honking or walking up and regretting sex, having sex while either party is drunk ect..

  • Eo

    "We can brainstorm creative ways to deal with harassers, such as issuing fake citations (until real laws are passed)".

    LOL!

    I can actually see the femi-fascists making honking and whisteling illegal and a form of rape.

  • Eo

    Im putting through a third post, dont ban me.

    Avoiding getting falsely accused....

    "▲Casual hook-ups or one night stands involving alcohol. Asking the police or a jury to sort out what happened afterwards based on a "he said/she said" account puts a tremendous burden on our law enforcement and judicial apparatuses. But make no mistake: such situations are a recipe for disaster. Young men looking to "score" in that situation need to understand that women experience much greater after-the-fact regret than men do. Sometimes feelings of regret are translated into feelings of "being used," and sometimes feelings of "being used" are misinterpreted as "rape." Unfortunately, it is the politically correct thing to urge young women to party like the guys -- without bothering to tell them about the regret asymmetry that separates the genders.

    ▲Situations where the woman has motivation to deny sex with you was consensual. It is difficult to overestimate this one. In Prof. Kanin's first landmark false rape study, he found that the motive to cover up a sudden illicit encounter was the primary motivation for false rape claims. Situations to avoid: if the woman has a husband or a boyfriend, even if you think they are estranged; if the woman doesn't want her parents to know she is serious about you -- perhaps because she is too young or you are not "acceptable" to them; or if the woman is embarrassed to let her friends know she is serious about you. In each of these situations, if the woman doesn't want someone important to her to know she had sex with you, you are at risk of a false rape claim.

    ▲Group sex where there was one woman and multiple guys. This one is closely related to the previous point. First, we would be dishonest if we failed to acknowledge that gang rape is a reality. But, second, there's another reality that many people, especially many older people, do not care to admit occurs: our "hook-up" culture has spawned a trend where young women engage in consensual group sex activities with young men. Where there is just one young woman and multiple guys, this is a recipe for a false rape claim. Most sane young women will regret that encounter after-the-fact and will worry that at least one of the young men will "brag" about it, destroying what's left of her reputation. The fear of "slut shaming," as the feminists call it, seems to spawn off-the-charts regret, and that is a false rape claim waiting to happen.

    ▲Liars lose. If a woman claims you raped her, you are more likely to be charged if the police find you lied to the woman or to the police about even a matter that isn't crucial.

    ▲Being a school teacher, a police officer, an ambulance paramedic, or a cab driver. It would be a terrible thing if men stayed away from law enforcement or from being cab drivers the way men avoid the teaching profession due to fears about false rape claims. The reality is that men in any of these professions need to be especially vigilant. Police officers are at risk because some women charged with crimes lie about rape out of revenge or to claim that the charges were trumped up. Ambulance paramedics and cab drivers are sometimes targeted by delusional women or women looking for an excuse for some indiscretion.

    ▲Nasty break-ups. This one could be the most common situation for false rape claims. Divorce and custody disputes spawn false rape claims in order for the woman to gain the upper hand in the dispute. Spurned ex-lovers sometimes use false rape claims as a tool of revenge.

    ▲Older male, much younger female. A false rape claim is less plausible when it involves peers around the same age because the likelihood of a consensual relationship is greater. When a girl accuses a middle-aged man of rape, there is no possibility of legal consent, and actual consent is unlikely. Moreover, the allegation is generally viewed as so terribly loathsome that the mantra "guilty until proven innocent" is truly a reality for this one.

    ▲Teen boy, older woman. Sometimes women who statutorily rape teen boys will twice victimize them by falsely accusing them of rape. Such tactic has facial plausibility, given the male-as-predator stereotype, not to mention the relative naivette and exploding hormones of teen boys. It is especially disturbing that a woman would, as the cliche goes, throw her callow lover under the bus in order to save herself".

    http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-to-avoid-false-rape-charge.html

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