Sexist Comments of the Week: Responsible Cleavage Edition
Watch where you're tilting those things
Last week, I wrote about how women with big boobs are perceived as inherently sluttier than those of us with minimal cleavage. In response, large-breasted women everywhere emerged to tell their stories. (I told you I was committed to blogging about boobs today.) Talk about your boobs in 3, 2, 1 . . .
PD is not trying to tantalize/horrify:
You have no idea how relevant this is to me. Basically, anything cut lower than a standard t-shirt is going to reveal my decolletage. I’ve had big breasts since I hit puberty, and thus have been dealing with trying to find clothes that fit, bras that fit, and ignoring all the stares and comments since I was a kid. I’m not trying to tantalize and/or horrify the general public with my tremendous, obscene, 38J milk bags. Nor am I willing to undergo surgery or resign myself to a life of Victorian-era necklines just because I’ve got big breasts and that makes other people uncomfortable.
This is my gift. This is my curse. Spiderman 3 was a terrible movie.
bellacocker is not giving men "ideas":
I used to have a nice, church lady of a boss who would stand over my desk, look down my shirt, and tell me that my clothing and breasts set a bad example for the staff under my supervision and gave men “ideas.” When I asked for a written copy of the dress code, in order to shop more appropriately, she said she didn’t want to limit her staff’s freedom like that and that we could wear anything as long as it was “professional.” Which meant, I could buy anything I wanted, but I wouldn’t know whether it was acceptable work clothing until I wore it in and had heard her opinion about it.
wisiti is wearing the appropriate level of cleavage for this situation:
I can’t wear anything lower than a scoop neck without showing off ample cleavage. Many shirts and/or dresses are not cut to cover my cleavage to the amount that I would prefer, but the only other option are high-necked shirts that make my boobs look even bigger! I hate that I’m constantly pulling up my shirts or worried about the amount of cleavage I’m showing (am I making that person uncomfortable? Is this the appropriate level of cleavage to show in this situation?) when there doesn’t really seem to be a solution to the problem. And, like the first commenter, I spent the majority of my high school years larger than most of my friends, with a (now seemingly small) size 32C, that were the focus of too much attention, from both my male and female friends. I’ve spent most of my life worried about my big boobs, when there has never really been anything I could do about them.
Melanie is wondering when a boy's legs are "slutty":
And then there’s the problem with dress codes. I work for an organisation whose current dress code amounts to boys, you can wear anything except earrings, girls, don’t show your slutty cleavage or slutty legs. I am trying to convince them that it might be a good idea to de-gender the dress code a little lest it be regarded as discriminatory.
Joliska has got a name, you know:
I have had large breasts for years. I guess I first noticed as a senior in high school when people would yell comments at me as we passed in the hallway. I also found out how people classified me: my name didn’t ring a bell, but when my breasts were mentioned, people knew.
for some reason, having bigger breasts (which wasn’t by choice, however) seemed to make people think they had permission to make comments and grab at them when they felt like it.
I don’t usually have a problem with shirts that expose more cleavage than I’m comfortable with, but I do have a problem finding bras that fit me, and I’m constantly having to readjust and try to mold them into the cups. I also have trouble finding shirts that are long enough if not wide enough. It doesn’t seem that clothing designers thought of my body type when they designed their clothes.
Em has learned how to karate-chop:
Big boobs are public domain. Like, not just ogling, I have had strangers effing GRAB at them. I’ve even evolved to have a karate-chop type maneuver to thwart them if I’m out at a club or a bar.
The way I look at it, it doesn’t matter what I wear, so I might as well look cute. Actually, I get the most attention in a fitted t-shirt–no cleavage, but it emphasizes that my boobs are quite large for my waist size and I inevitably get unwanted attention. I’ve definitely had my outfit called “slutty” (usually by women, who are damn judgemental about these things) when a less endowed friend was wearing much less and apparently not deemed slutty. That’s just how it is. Culture is threatened by big boobs, I think because they’re in-your-face-femininity…also because people make such a big deal about boobs in this country. To quote an international student I used to know, “What is the big deal about boobs in this country?”
I have large breasts and I do not agree that wearing them on display is some kind of god given right. Maybe this is a generational difference.
Photo via freeparking, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0