The Sexist

D.C. Strip Club Promises Its Strippers Some Really Pretty Walls to Stare At

stadiumclub

Introducing Stadium Club, the District's first foray into the world of upscale stripping. What turns a regular old strip club into a classy strip club? If Stadium Club's Web site is any indication, true class can be achieved by offering an array of bizarre amenities in addition to the requisite naked women. And so, when it opens in Ward 5 later this month, the strip club will offer "fine cigars," "complimentary limousine pick-up and drop-off" for VIP members,  a valet by the name of Elvis, and the promise to accommodate "the best of all the patrons’ wishes and demands."

But what do the dancers—dubbed "Stadium Girls"—get out of the classy stripping experience? The privilege of removing their clothing in front of "eye pleasing backgrounds." From the site:

Upon your first visit you will note the attention to the detail at every turn; whether it is the lights; the rich wood tones that are contrasted by soft pastel colors of pink, green and grey to provide eye pleasing backgrounds for both the patron and the dancer; the combination of stone and leather which provide texture and warmth; or how all of these aspects are rounded off by brushed steel and glass, you will understand that this clearly upscale venue is a one of a kind.

I've scoured the Stadium Club Web site, and the aforementioned background preparation is the sole indication that Stadium Club has the safety and comfort of its dancers in mind. Strippers must sure love walls! Or do they? I asked a local woman with about a year of stripping experience for her analysis of this particular feature.

"I have NO idea what the lighting or the eye-pleasing background shit is about," she writes. "I can tell you, not only do the dancers not care about that, but the patrons don't either. The patrons want: 1) Naked girls; 2) To be able to harass/sexually assault those girls to their hearts' content. That's it."

"OK, they maybe also want to be able to get drunk," she adds. "But like . . . brushed steel and glass? Have you ever been to a strip club? It is DARK in there. The only well-lit places are the stage and the bar. Guys don't want to be able to see the goddamn brushed steel, because that would mean someone could see them. And they want it to be as dark as possible so that they can ogle and grope to their hearts' content—and not have anyone say 'Hey, isn't that my congressman?'"

Instead of comforting its dancers with shades of soft pastel, our expert suggests Stadium Club focus on ensuring the safety of its employees. "As for the dancers, what they want is to make a lot of money and preferably not get raped. Or jerked off on. . . . The biggest thing a club can do to ensure the happiness of its dancers is to enforce the laws about not touching them," she writes. "I guess it's better to work at a classy strip club than a non-classy one? If that's even a distinction that exists? But again, I think that distinction would be most evident in how the dancers are treated, by the club and by its patrons (and, of course, the former has a nontrivial amount of control over the latter)."

  • http://www.xxxmina.com Mina

    Fabulous post. And so true....I danced about 10 years ago for 3 years and frankly, I didn't give a rat's ass what the place looked like nor did the clientele. I was more concerned about making it safely across the room.

    Which is why I retired.

  • anon

    This is my favorite:

    "At the Stadium Club you will find the food, beverage, and quality of service commonly reserved for and found in the best steak houses in the city…think Ruth Chris’ or Morton’s with beautiful ladies while you eat."

    Ruth Chris'?? Really??

  • Enchilada Tostada Taco Bell

    Pussy juice and Steak!!! Yum!!! Who the fuck goes to a strip club to eat?

  • http://rickmangus@aol.com Rick Mangus

    The only thing true about the hype of this place is that it's a meat rack!

    Take it somewhere else!

  • noodlez

    I WOULD RATHER WATCH SOME ASS IN A CLEAN CLASSY SPOT THAN IN SOME DIVE.

    I JUST HOPE THEIR LADIES ARE CLEAN AND CLASSY!

    BRING IT ON!

  • mdesus

    my experience in strip clubs have been that it is often the girls who violate the no touching rules. Obviously it's not for pleasure, but because if she can make you believe it's not about money then she will make more money. Strippers get paid a lot of money to work in a hostile environment. Kind of like crab fishermen. Oh wait bad analogy.

  • Stadium Girl

    No need to worry about being seen. If you're as important as you think you are. Stadium club has a wall of 1 way mirrors with VIP rooms for rent by the half hour.. I start tomorrow night and I can't wait!! I love the 'pretty walls' contrary to your beliefs.. strippers do enjoy a work environment that is pleasing to our eyes.

    This club definitely makes me feel at home with it's Vegas style decor - seeing how that's where I'm from.

  • http://www.withoutragstoriches.com Truth

    Why don't you wait for the club to actually open before you post comments about the environment and character. Jumping to conclusions, like you have done, merely because there are unclothed girls involved...now that is sexist.

  • Wow!

    I don't know what dancer you interviewed, but any person with an ounce of intelligence can conclude just by her language that she has no idea what class is; and basically that renders her opinion worthless.
    Another point worth mention is that this dancer only has one year of experience, which clearly in her case, has not been enough time for her to grasp the concept of the exotic dance business.
    Yes, there are dancers who don't care what kind of environment they dance in, and they dance for those guys that don't care what kind of dancer/environment is put in front of them. That means the girl has to work harder for that dollar and the guy doesn't have to spend many dollars. Generally this is where the trashy/ghetto types of girls and customers go.
    Then there are the educated dancers who understand "class" and will only dance in elegant surroundings, and the ladies dance for upscale/wealthy gentlemen who are exclusively interested in spending big bucks in an exquisite atmosphere on refined females. In addition, these types of clubs are higher priced and that tends to keep the rif-raf out, which is much appreciated by these upscale ladies and their upscale customers. The gentlemen here spend more (because they're loaded), They treat the ladies better (because most of them conduct themselves in a classy manner),the ladies make more (and keep more dignity without having to act like dogs in heat) and everyone is happy.
    DC doesn't have any places like this, so hopefully this Stadium Club will live up to it's expectations.

  • Stadium Club

    Amanda Hess (the reporter of this article) constructed a "review" of this establishment absent of any basic journalistic standards:

    To wit ...

    1: The Stadium Club was not open at the time of her review: so, how could she form an impartial critique without an ounce journalistic integrity?

    Amanda posted a pre-conceived opinion ... without the benefit of an interview from an employee, or client, as a source ... in fact, she even neglected to visit the premises personally.

    2. Her interview of a "local woman with about a year of stripping experience", (who has never set foot within the Stadium Club, nor is she an employee who can provide any salient commentary) is crude and ill-informed.

    3. Amanda: if you would care perform your duties as a true journalist, we would be honored to host you any evening that you desire. You will quickly discover that the security, comfort and attention to our female entertainers is our first consideration and priority ... you will also find, that our interior is intentionally well lit to showcase the beauty of our women ... as well as the architectural details.

    In closing, inferior establishments strive to conceal their flaws because of embarrassment (such as concealing entertainers of questionable proportion, hygiene or age ... or to disguise less than desirable architectural aspects).

    The Stadium Club REVEALS all, because in the words of the master classical Greek sculptor Praxiteles, we are "honest in the dark".

    Which means, we take great pride in accentuating beauty on EVERY level.

    We invite you to stop by at your earliest convenience, perhaps then, you will favor your readers with a more enlightened and educated report .

  • Amanda is a hater

    Amanda you are just a hater and probably ugly as shit. I've been to Stadium and it is a very nice spot with beautiful girls.

...