Give Me Your Best Relationship-Ending Lines
The Relationship-Ending Line: The statement uttered by your boyfriend or girlfriend, casual hook-up or spouse, longtime crush or friend-with-benefits, after which nothing between you could ever be the same. The Relationship-Ending Line is the moment that it becomes clear—whether immediately after the phrase exits your partner's lips, or in retrospect after years of denial—that this relationship simply wasn't meant to be. Observe:
It could come before the relationship even begins: "My favorite book is The Fountainhead."
It could come in the middle of a blow job: "Swallow my man custard."
It could preempt sexual contact entirely: "Hey, bring those roast beef curtains over here."
It could come 30 years into your marriage: "The ceremony would be held on a rooftop in New York and the Dave Matthews Band would make an appearance."
Give me the best Relationship-Ending Line you've heard, throw in a little context, and if you've got the saddest/funniest entry, I'll ship you out a copy of Babeland's new sex-positive how-to, "Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex."
File your relationship-enders in the comments or e-mail them to me here (if you comment, make sure to leave a valid e-mail address where I can reach you). Extra points awarded for dramatic irony.