Comments on: “I’m Claimed By This Pervert”: One Woman Who Reported Her Grope

By: Amanda Hess

Amanda Hess — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 22:31:55 +0000

Thanks, hexalm. It's been fixed.

By: hexalm

hexalm — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 20:41:19 +0000

FYI to the author(s) (and to readers I suppose)

Link to article 1 in the series is incorrect/broken. Here's the correct link: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2010/01/06/touch-and-go-how-groping-happens/

By: EmilyRuskowski

EmilyRuskowski — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 02:06:57 +0000

When did I say I was traumatized? I got out of the garage as fast as I could and called both the Falls Church City Police and the Fairfax County
Police. They both told me to talk to Metro Police the next day. Also, I helped set up and participated in a police sting. What's emotionally fragile about that?

By: frgerg

frgerg — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:15:16 +0000

"If you’re persistent and honest, someone will listen to you at some point.”

This series is excellent but this line is unfortunately not accurate. :-(

By: FoBo in the News -FoBoBlo

FoBo in the News -FoBoBlo — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:02:53 +0000

[...] Sexist has a really disturbing sexual assault story which starts underground in the Foggy Bottom Metro [...]

By: Miike snow

Miike snow — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:33:08 +0000

Rando, it seems like you just made up an imaginary problem. Nobody in these stories thinks of calling the police but then says, "Oh wait, I'm supposed to be traumatized" They are just actually traumatized. And none of these stories are saying your "supposed" to be traumatized. So, I don't know where you're getting this "myth" from, but I suspect you actually just have an agenda.

By: Rando's Defense

Rando's Defense — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 21:29:30 +0000

Couple of points here in defense of Rando:

1. One person's story = one person's story. An article put out in the public space without comment = how myths get perpetuated.

2. 911 responses may be fast and efficient, or they may not be. That is no reason not to call the cops.

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:42:18 +0000

At the risk of beating a dead horse, I'd like to say that Rando, you're operating under the assumption that the cops can and will do something - get there on time, try as hard as they can to catch the attacker, succeed. Sometimes they can't, sometimes they don't. Much as we'd all like to believe that the police can always make everything ok, it's not the case.

By: Rick Mangus

Rick Mangus — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:31:37 +0000

WHAT!, no snow groping stories today Amanda!

By: Emily H.

Emily H. — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 20:17:52 +0000

Rando -- I hear where you're coming from, and I agree telling women it's somehow more appropriate or "normal" to be too freaked out to call the cops is a bad message. But one woman's story doesn't send that message, because it *is* just one woman's story. It's what really happened, not what society as a whole had decided should happen, and I'd much rather hear the truth. Also: I was once attacked by a crazy guy while out jogging, and I called 911 as soon as I got away from him. The dude ran to his car and drove away. The cops showed up 20 minutes later (!), and the criminal was long gone. People don't necessarily expect a quick or useful response from the police, because often they don't get one.

By: L

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:49:34 +0000

This persistent myth that even moderate sexual violence is so traumatizing that the appropriate response is not to contact law enforcement immediately does unbelievable harm to future victims of sexual violence. Oh, for fuck's sake, Rando. 1) Clearly, this is not a myth. Clearly. The woman in the article was too traumatized to report right away. This may not be the case for every woman who experiences sexual violence. But being traumatized by sexual assault? That's totally and completely normal. You're an asshole for shaming women who feel traumatized after experiencing something traumatic. 2) Reporting or not reporting sexual assault does not cause sexual assault. The person committing sexual assault causes sexual assault. Don't blame victims for things that really, REALLY aren't their fault or within their control. 3) Calling the cops WAS an option in this story, because SHE DID CALL THE COPS. Therefore, this post is not promoting any sort of narrative that women are too "emotionally fragile" or whatever to call the police. Did you, by the way, notice how long it took her to get in touch with someone who would actually follow up on her report? The hour she spoke to her friend before calling 911 is nothing in comparison to how long it took her to get someone to pay attention. If there's blame to be laid anywhere, it's on the transit cops for not answering her phone calls. To sum it up, stop being a mansplaining, victim-blaming dick, Rando.

By: m

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:48:35 +0000

@Rando: I understand where you're coming from, but I don't think you can really grasp the experience of something like that unless you yourself have. The best you can do is accept and be understanding when it comes to people's descriptions of their experiences.

By: latecomer

latecomer — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:43:36 +0000

Well a story in which the victim works with the Police and the perp is captured/convicted sounds like it has a much better ending than the bulk of the other groper articles/stories I've seen on the city paper recently...

By: Rando

Rando — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:09:45 +0000

Latecomer, that's my point -- stories like this reinforce the idea that even moderate assaults like this are so traumatizing that calling the cops just isn't an option. We need to get past that myth that women are so emotionally fragile that we can't handle making a 911 call and instead need to call a friend or family member for an hour or more of psychological stabilization before pressing 3 keys on our phones and telling the operator where we are and what the perp looks like.

To be clear, I'm not coming down on the writer personally here, more on CP for putting this story out there as model behavior with a happy ending.

By: latecomer

latecomer — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:44:42 +0000

@Rando When someone's traumatized and processing what has happened to them they're not necessarily able to act so immediately. It sounds like Emily did a great job considering what she went through. That was some pretty aggressive stalking there...

By: Rando

Rando — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:33:15 +0000

Protip: When you are assaulted, sexually or otherwise, but physically unharmed, and you're sitting in a locked car in a public space and the perp is walking away and making no threatening motions, and you have a cell phone, a good description of the perp, and his phone number, CALL 911. This persistent myth that even moderate sexual violence is so traumatizing that the appropriate response is not to contact law enforcement immediately does unbelievable harm to future victims of sexual violence. I'm sure I'll be accused of blaming the victim here, but come on folks, we all need to remind each other that when bad things happen, CALL THE COPS IMMEDIATELY SO THEY CAN CATCH THE SCUMBAGS.