The Sexist

University Sex Columns, Reviewed: Sexually Active “Trash” Edition

The battle for ideological dominance in our nation’s capital’s collegiate sex columns continues. Are our local campus columnists on the forefront of radical sex writing, or are they bringing back the good-old-days of referring to all former sex partners as  "trash"?

This week: How to "recycle" last week's "human trash," in the bedroom; how getting waaaaaasted will help you get into her pants; why you should never approach the person you're fucking in public.

GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY:

Sex Tip: Georgetown Hoya relationship columnist Colleen Leahey goes green this week by applying the three R's to drunken GW hook-ups. In short: Your previous sex partners are "trash." Having sex with a casual hook-up twice means you're "recycling." "Human recycling is rather different from rocking your older sibling’s hand-me-downs," Leahey writes. "It typically involves alcohol, bad judgment and a late-night phone call. However, it happens on college campuses—all the time. So, is there some sort of benefit to this practice, or should an old hook-up be thrown in the trash, never to be touched again?"

Life Lesson: Sex makes everybody feel worthless. "Next time you see your random hook-up out, think about the repercussions of what you’re about to do," Leahey writes. "Weigh the pros and cons of your situation; if it seems worth it, then feel free to recycle one more time. But do remember, you could wake up the next morning feeling like a piece of trash yourself."

Progressive Meter: Even environmentalists are vulnerable to the conservative idea that having sex destroys every boy and girl's precious reserve of purity. ZERO.

THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND:

Sex Tip: Seal the deal while she's drunk. UMD Diamondback advice columnist Esti Frischling returns from winter break to dole out advice on how to hook up with the girl you had your eye on last semester. Whatever you do, make sure she's not sober: "You didn’t man up and have your way with her when you had the chance, and now you’re just a loser with some number in your phone," Frischling writes. "The next time this happens, you have to capitalize on her tipsy advances."

Life Lesson: COLLLLEEEEGGGGGE! "I wouldn’t go straight to the sober, daytime date just yet. That’s a serious recipe for disaster. . .  you might not be drunk at that time during the day, meaning you’ll be less confident and she’ll be less attractive," Frischling writes. "I think you should meet her where you’re both most comfortable: drunk at a bar. You also don’t want to be stuck alone with her when everything goes to shit, you realize you have nothing to talk about, and you’re both terrible dancers."

Progressive Meter: Buhh. DRUNK.


HOWARD UNIVERSITY:

Sex Tip: This time in the Howard University Hilltop's "He Said . . . She Said" column, the He and She team up to warn undergrads against becoming somebody's "boo." According to the Hilltop, "boo" really stands for "Boy Other Option" or "Broad Other Option," depending upon the gender of the "side jawn" in question. How to be a good boo: "Don’t spend all your money, don’t ask a bunch of questions, don’t expect to meet their friends, don’t go physically farther than your emotions will allow, and never try to come up to them when they’re with another person."

Life Lesson: Boos can graduate to boyfriends and girlfriends—if they know their role. "We’re young and many of us have lots of options to choose from when it comes to being in a relationship—especially the guys on campus—so I can’t blame them for testing the waters before jumping into commitment," they write. "But the key to being a good boyfriend/girlfriend is first being a good B.O.O. Play by the rules folks, and you will win."

Progressive Meter: Some aspects of boo behavior show a respect for your sex partner's autonomy—a willingness to allow some physical and emotional distance "before jumping into commitment." Other characteristics of the boo appear to be an entrée into an abusive relationship. Never try to come up to them when they're with another person! THREE.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

  • K

    As I recall, you find "sex positivity" a bit boring Amanda, but after reading that Georgetown Hoya piece, it seems to me that is a message those students could stand to hear more often. (Or, you know, at all.)

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess

    Hah. You're right about that. I've actually come to a more enlightened position about the sex positivity movement. I'm a full supporter, so long as the sex harness demonstrations and female orgasm book sales don't get in the way of less consumer-friendly discussions about sexual assault and sex trafficking and all that other depressing feminist shit. You know how those sex harnesses are always tangling themselves up in my rape theory.

  • Emily H.

    IMO sex positivity isn't just "feel-good" though, or a fun break from talking about serious heavy issues. Just as being pro-choice is often about confronting the forces that conspire to take away that choice (or to convince women that some "choices" aren't really acceptable for nice girls), being sex-positive means confronting all sex-negative voices out there, and realizing just how ingrained sex-shaming ideas really are. Dismantling powerful forces of ideology is a serious thing to wanna do, and it's not inherently consumer-friendly. Don't you find it rather depressing (albeit not as depressing as sex trafficking) that today's liberal, hedonistic college students are still dealing with the idea that sex will make you feel like "trash"?

    I also think sex positivity can do more than just "not get in the way" of those other issues, since they're so closely related. Extreme misogynists are often rape apologists, and they also often think that a girl who acts "slutty" or is known to have many sex partners is fair game ("what did she expect, she has no self-respect," etc.). It's good to be able to argue that sexual activity doesn't diminish your personhood.

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