The Sexist

Reader Booty Call: “You seem like you may have some sexual tension issues going on”

Not too long ago, a female blogger asked me for some career-related advice. One of her commenters had written her a long e-mail expressing his romantic interest in her, and she was unsure how to respond. Having never received such a missive myself, I didn't have any personal experience to share with my fellow lady-blogger. Until now!

In response to some off-the-cuff criticism of R. Kelly I wrote eight months ago, a reader writes in:

You seem like you may have some sexual tension issues going on. I hate to sound superficial, but if you are as attractive as me (I'm pretty damn good looking) we should get together. This is a NSA offer only. I don't wand to fuck every girl in the world, but your attitude added you to the list. Holla at me.

I still don't have any advice for my friend on how to deal with her love-struck commenter. But I do have one tip for any blogger who finds herself on the receiving end of a booty-call from a reader who assumes the blogger to be a frigid but possibly extremely attractive woman who may be interested in no-strings-attached sex with an anonymous R. Kelly enthusiast: Hit publish!

  • Matty B

    I think we all know the reasonable conclusion to draw from this: R. Kelly now wants Amanda Hess.

  • Shinobi

    I think you should be flattered! This guy has clearly gone out of his way to objectify you and determine the source of your ire, and then to contact you about it. Don't you feel validated knowing that (assuming you're a mad hottie of course) some random guy wants to have NSA sex with you?

    /sarcasm

  • Former Staffer

    I <3 Hess!

    + 1 for Matty B.

  • Coleman

    I would offer helpful advice but I got trapped in the closet.

  • jf1

    why not pursue it from a strict blogger perspective?

    This could make for an interesting story.

  • http://the-conception.blogspot.com ella

    LMAO

  • lol

    His letter reads like a craigslist response.

  • Banyan

    This post is kind of a negative feedback loop.
    Step 1. Start a post about feminism and sexism. This will of course attract men who want to irritate women, women who are hyper-sensitive, as well as perfectly reasonable people.
    Step 2. Wait for the shit to hit the fan.
    Step 3. Put up posts about how the shit has indeed hit the fan.
    Step 4. Extrapolate from the shit-fest that the problem of sexism, partially induced by the very nature of the site/bloggers, is indeed a daunting task that requires constant diligence!

  • LeftSidePositive

    Banyan, that's a positive feedback loop.

    A negative feedback loop is limited and self regulating. i.e. #4 would DIMINISH, not increase, the action of #1.

  • Banyan

    Ok. My general point about the self-perpetuating/cyclical nature of the site remains.

  • jf1

    "Ok. My general point about the self-perpetuating/cyclical nature of the site remains."

    wow, either you're wrong about that too, or else WCP actually generates reader-feedback and the writers here often use the feedback for new storylines which generates even more userfeedback, and that's somehow wrong.

  • Banyan

    It's not wrong it just creates a tremendous amount of repetition, and it's becoming clear to me that the many of the man and women here are profoundly ill and therefore no representative of the population at large. The fact that people have been arguing about what consent is for ages, recycling the same arguments and repeating the same biases strikes me as profoundly masturbatory. If you were to say right now that you attend this forum because you hate women and want to dominate and humiliate them, you would probably still find a sparring partner. I think this is kind of sick.

  • jf1

    first, you shouldn't assume that the people who post here on this little rinkydink site are "representative of the population at large".

    second, you shouldn't assume that "the population at large" is *not* "profoundly ill" in some way or another. Likewise that they don't hold screwed-up opinions on the topics that you mention.

    third, it may strike you as "profoundly masturbatory" because you yourself are "profoundly ill", that ever occur to you?

    What were you saying the other day about being at a party and finding yourself with no one to talk to? Maybe you just ought to leave the scene. You've said your piece, I'm sure. If not stay and talk more. But either way quit yer bitchin' :)

  • Banyan

    If I'm correct in asserting that this is an echo chamber, then the people who think that they will achieve something in a echo chamber are indeed ill. It's profoundly masturbatory because it's an echo chamber. I'm not sure if I'm ill but if I began to argue the same topic with the same or even different people with relatively little progress, I would indeed conclude that I'm ill. You could of course argue that these topics are philosophical and therefore insoluble, but other philosophical forums have a wider array of subjects, more reasoned debate, and less hostility. I guess a lot of philosophy is somewhat masturbatory, but I do think this forum takes the cake. I'm not complaining, I actually find this soothing. Argue with people I don't really give a fuck about at a site where just about anything you say warrants a response.

  • Banyan

    Maybe I didn't frame the argument adequately. Amanda Hess puts up a post about sexism. Guys that are really offended by the notion that she is such a "whiner," then proceed to bash women which further supports Amanda's initial claim that sexism is a huge social problem. But maybe it's much more of a problem for feminists and MRA's than it is for the population at large. Maybe forums like this attract sick people who fuel each others sickness. Do you disagree?

  • jf1

    I think that you worry too much about labels.

  • Banyan

    Say it ain't so Joe.

  • Coleman

    Banyan's right. I think we're all sick in the head.

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