The Sexist

Date Rape Anthem: Kiely Williams’ “Spectacular”

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Date Rape Anthem: The parade of female-sung Date Rape Jams continues. Kiely Williams' "Spectacular," a song about getting wasted, passing out, and having the most incredible sex of your life!


Relevant Lyrics:

Last I remember I was face down
Ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off
Even though I’m not sure of his name
He could get it again if he wanted
Cause the sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular
The sex was spectacular

Why It's So Rapey: Although Williams insists—several times—that the sex was "spectacular," she also reiterates that she doesn't remember the damn thing. "What was I drinking, I can’t believe I blacked out," she purrs, before getting specific on the sweeping memory loss: "I hope he used a rubber, or I'm a be in trouble, problem is I don't remember, except for (unintelligible)."

From time to time, commenters on this blog will pose the following burning question about consent: So, what if your sex partner was too drunk to consent to sex—she was ass up, clothes off, broke off, dozed off, and blacked out. But what if—what if—when she wakes up the next day, she's totally pumped about what she can't remember happened the night before? [See: The controversy over broke off, dozed off consensual sex at American University last year].

What if, indeed? Well, OK: If the lady in question is heading into the recording studio to sing the praises of the stallion who spectacularly sexed her when she was passed out, that stallion is probably in the clear as far as his legal situation is concerned.

That doesn't put him in the clear as far as my feminist shaming is concerned, however. I understand that the exact moment a potential sex partner becomes too drunk to fuck is not always obvious. But surely, dozing off in the middle of sex is a good indication that you should stop, no matter how spectacular it was when she was actually coherent. You've got to have meaningful consent before and throughout the act, no matter how she feels about it the next day. If your sex partner's kink is being fucked while she's asleep, that's a situation that you've got to set upbeforehand. And even if she ends up telling you the sex was great when she wakes up, that doesn't let you off the hook, either. A commenter on Bossip put it this way: "so she got slipped a roofie, date ra.p.e.d and wrote a song about it. life gives you lemons you make lemonade i guess."

And another thing! How many pieces of popular music have to be written about how pushing booze on women until they vomit all over themselves and ultimately juuuust barely consent to having sex with you is sexy? Because these songs actually glamorize the behavior of rapists. And even if you're the elusive chick who happens to be into that, presenting this situation as "spectacular" is both a) not particularly interesting, as far as pop music is concerned, and b) harmful to all the women who wake up in that same situation and have a much different descriptor for the sex: "rape."

  • Lizrd

    Wow. I thought 3LW was terrible.

  • ashley.c

    i don't see how any woman can sing this and still be ok with themselves. but that's me.

  • http://bourgieinterrupted.com KiaJD

    I'm late on the song but just saw the video for this which I think is new (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J96ujGstSUw) and um wow. Date rape anthem indeed.
    So sad how she's struggling to stay (or get) relevant. Must EVERYONE who worked for Disney get all hyper sexed just to sell?

  • julie

    I'd like to know how much she'd REALLY like for that to happen to her. If it did she probably wouldn't be quite so "nah nah nah I'm such a sex kitten everybody look at meeeee" about it.

  • http://dangerously.ca jesse Dangerously

    Those are some reprehensible lyrics, but/and let's be real about something in order to more sensibly discuss them - she likely had no hand in their composition. She's just the singer - don't presume those words have anything to do with her views.

    It's even creepier to consider the likely scenario that some dudes wrote those words and then had her sing them.

    Personally, I don't think it's even intended to be sexy. I think it's pseudo-edgy black comedy. Which, great. More rape jokes. Just what we needed.

    Anyway, it's disgraceful, but let's remember it's more about the songwriters than it is about her.

  • Nicki

    @jesse dangerously OH U MUST NOT HAVE HEARD. SHE ACTUALLY WROTE THE PIECE OF CRAP SHE CALLS A SONG. SHE DESERVES ALL THE FLACK SHE'S GETTIN.

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