The Sexist

Date Rape Anthem: Ke$ha’s “Blah Blah Blah”

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Date Rape Anthem: Up next in our date-rape anthem series: Ke$ha's "Blah Blah Blah," a track about how Ke$ha just wants to fuck you—not fucking listen to you! (Thanks to Heartless Doll for bringing this track to my attention).

Relevant Lyrics:


Coming out your mouth with your "blah blah blah"
Just zip your lips like a padlock
And meet me at the back with the Jack and the jukebox
I don't really care where you live at
Just turn around boy and let me hit that
Don't be a little bitch with your chit chat

Just show me where your dick's at.

.. . .Come meet me in the back with the Jack and the jukebox
So cut to the chase kid
Cuz I know you don't care what my middle name is
I wanna be naked but you're wasted.

Why It's So Rapey: First, Ke$ha is concerned that her sex partner is not unresponsive enough to fuck. Next, Ke$ha is concerned that her sex partner is too drunk to fuck. Mixed signals, Ke$ha! Here's one great thing about sex partners who are allowed to communicate with you: You never have to guess as to whether your sex partner is (a) incapable of consenting to revealing the location of his dick, or (b) simply being coy at your request. Blah, blah, blah: It really helps eliminate the guesswork in that whole date rape thing.

  • fish

    Thats really gross.
    I havent heard the song, but i'm can be almost sure musical quality would be in the same vain as the lyrics.
    truly horrible

    "Just turn around boy and let me hit that
    Don’t be a little bitch with your chit chat"

    Is she going to stick something up his bum?

  • L

    Well, it's no wonder she hooked up with 3OH!3 for that song. From their first hit, "Don't Trust Me":

    Shush girl, shut your lips,
    Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.
    I said, Shush girl, shut your lips,
    Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.
    I said, Shush girl, shut your lips,
    Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips.

    Whoa, whoa, whoa...

    She wants to touch me (whoa),
    She wants to love me (whoa),
    She'll never leave me (whoa, whoa, oh, oh),
    Don't trust a ho,
    Never trust a ho,
    Won't trust a ho,
    Won't trust me

    Real insightful lyrics, guys. Good work.

  • jules

    @fish: i feel like this song was written for a male performer, and kesha just ended up doing it instead?

    or, maybe she has a thing for strap-ons?

  • Kat

    Isn't the point of Ke$ha's music that she takes the hateful stuff men sing about women and turns it back on men? I'm not one to excuse the promotion of rape culture, but I think it's supposed to be offensive -- i.e., it's supposed to come across as violent and scary because maybe hearing things like this said about men (who are generally regarded as, you know, people) will make men rethink some of the things that are said about women. That said, until F-on-M rape is taken seriously (well, until any rape is taken seriously), it's not going to be a particularly effective strategy.

  • Richard

    I am a bit late to respond to this one, but I think this is a really important point.

    When we talk about the 'promotion of rape culture' I start to wonder what that really means. Is the problem gender neutral or in many cases is it only a problem when it is placed in a gender context? Also, how does legitimate sexual desire intersect in these cases?

    Looking at the Kesha song, I wonder what is honestly wrong with her expression of sexual desire. She does want to have sex with her subject (and not talk) and is disappointed by the fact that he is too wasted presumably to accomplish the task. It seems that associating this with rape culture would be associating any expression of a strong desire for sex and desire for power in satisfying your desire with rape.

    Flipping this around, I do not see this song as being all that substantially different than say Ludacris's "What's Your Fantasy", where he similarly expresses in great detail his desire to take control and do things.

    I think my point here is two fold. I wonder if many critics of pop and rap musics misogyny often conflate songs that are specifically demeaning (referring to women are bitches, etc) and songs that express sexual desire. Often I think they do a terrible job of really making any nuanced distinctions between the misogyny of specific artists and the genre more generally. Also, I wonder if in some cases the reason there is no nuance is because the real view that being sex positive encourages rape.

    My second point is that I think this misunderstanding is really clearly revealed in example like this where the gender role is reversed. In other words, many expressions that critics criticize as representing hyper-masculinity might be better described as an expression of desiring control and furfillment of desire that is gender neutral.

    If these hyper-masculine expressions do not have real resonance for women (and men alike), you have to wonder why so many women know and love rap music.

  • TJ

    @Richard, I think I'm going to work backwards based on your comments.

    I am a woman who has no problems with saying that I love Hip Hop. I DON'T like all rap music, though. Just because you like a certain genre of music doesn't mean that you're going to like all the music that falls under it. Artists like Common, Lupe Fiasco, and hell, even old-school Run DMC, Big Daddy Kane, and Public Enemy come to mind when it comes to rappers who don't have to use misogyny to put a good song or two together.

    With that said and out the way, I don't think that you read the lyrics very well. Ke$sha is saying she doesn't care what is going on with the guy, she wants what she wants when she wants it. I've never heard of this woman, so I don't know what her overall angle is, but in this song, it seems to me like she is taking the "man" route and talking about wanting to have sex like the men do. I guess it's her way to be "equal" to men?

    As a feminist, I take real issue with that. One of the issues that we are trying to combat is this notion that our bodies and sexuality are here only for the enjoyment of man... that no matter how the woman feels, a man is entitled. This song wants to sound just like the other songs that we complain about, except a woman is singing it. Notice: the feminists don't like this song, either.

    Amanda makes it clear that this song is rape-y. Just because it's sung by a woman doesn't make it any less so. So yes, the rape culture is gender neutral. It just so happens that the vast majority of reported sexual assaults are caused by men.

    And don't go jumping into the men-get-raped-too band wagon. My previous paragraph covers that.

  • Richard

    I'm with you for the most part. I guess the sort of ambivalent response above doesn't show clearly one point to which I disagree.

    Although I think rape culture can be gender neutral, my point is actually broader that I think looking at how its gender neutral in many cases reveals the problem in confronting it. The problem is the role of fantasy and desire. Frankly, I believe people do want to have sex with people and do not necessarily think of their desire for sex in terms of exclusively that mutual desire or consent. This creates two problems. For one, people act on those desires in damaging ways, like committing rape. Second, as might be argued, they promote behaviors or a culture where this desire is held up or promoted through songs like Kesha's.

    Bridging back to my main point, I think this song really reveals that there are actually two issues which I think critics often conflate, that is the misogyny in hip hop music and the desire for sexual control. I think these are interrelated issues obviously, but also have a series of distinct issues regarding how as a society we treated sexual desire generally.

    Sorry I run on so much (why I only comment now and then), but just to give you an example, I think that "What's Your Fantasy" is a perfect example of a song this is hyper-sexualized, but not misogynistic.

    Relooking at the Kesha song, I think its near the edge, but still within the confines of not being 'rapey.'

  • Alexandria

    @Richard Yes! Also, I think you can take the lyrics to this song in a different way. Personally, I love when women sing or otherwise express that they enjoy sex and even anonymous and/or casual sex. Because we (as feminists) also have to fight back against the assumption that woman are gatekeepers of men's sexuality and in fact have none themselves (or at least shouldn't).
    It seems to me the Ke$ha may be expressing that she is just interested in sex with this guy and not any kind of relationship. She also may be letting him know that he does not have to try to say what he thinks she wants to hear (i.e. emotions that are traditionally associated with what women want to hear before getting into bed with a guy). She does not need him to sweet talk her into sex. In other words 'quit assuming what I need to hear. I think you are sexy. Let's have sex.' or even 'if you are interested in more than just sex with me, i am not.' It does not have to be about control the way she is singing it.
    I would think this is rape-y if it was sung by a man, but then there are different assumptions about what is required for dating and sex from a man vs. from a woman.

  • http://www.autostraddle.com riese

    Sorry I tried to find an email but couldn't --

    Have you heard The Paradiso Girls' "Patron Tequila"? The Girls are branded as a "modern Spice Girls" but were supposed to be the new Pussycat Dolls (and were similarly constructed by a music producer via a TV show). The single was produced with 'Lil John & Eve and proclaims "by the end of the night I'm gonna have you drunk and throwin' up, by the end of the night I'm gonna have you so f*cked up." It's the rapy-est song ever!

    It should be the theme song of the Date Rape Series, seriously, I can only assume that the song is so terrible it has yet to attract the feminist ire it deserves.

  • ds

    It's a little late b/c it's January, but could we add that old Dean Martin chestnut "it's cold outside" to the date rape anthem list?

  • Michele

    Are you sure those are the lyrics? I hear it as "I wanna be naked AND you're wasted" implying that talking is unnecessary because "naked" and "wasted" are the only two conditions required for sex.

  • Brian

    Just to reiterate what someone else posted, yeah this song is rapey, but it's supposed to be. She made it as an ironic statement about the sexually aggressive and objectifying music put out by some male artists.

    The beginning her music video seems to make that pretty clear [a really skeezy guy intercepts her at the entrance of a club, when she meets him inside, wraps him in duct tape and pulls down his pants].

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