I was watching a movie with a friend from school; I was in 10th grade. I got up to go use the bathroom and just as I did the guy jammed his hand between my legs and pulled me back to him. I felt like a deer in the headlights. But then I was calm all the sudden; Probably this disassociation thing. I looked at him over my shoulder, probably a bit glassy eyed, and told him to leave. He seemed kinda stunned. He just got up and left. Weirdest experience ever.

In NY, self defense is a crime in this case
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/30/nyregion/30arrest.html?_r=2&ref=nyregion
“A 16-year-old girl accused of fatally stabbing a man who she said harassed and groped her at a restaurant in Queens last week turned herself in Tuesday and was charged with first-degree manslaughter, the police said.”"

She wasn't charged with manslaughter for an act of self-defense. She was charged for an act of retribution. Simple fact, stabbing someone while they are molesting you is "self-defense". Chasing them down and stabbing them *after* they molest you is retribution.

Well, certainly such acts are not just offensive they are also demeaning and abusive. And certainly I can understand why some women have trouble responding "in time", it must be a stunning event, and of course there is the threat of real physical violence and the possibility of a mistaken identity and of course the likelihood of denial. But likewise some people would act swiftly, whether "pressed up against them in a crowded train" or whatever. It's just a matter of who you are. The fact is that this happens and someone is going to feel bad as a result, even if the other person is prosecuted. If you're the type of woman who would respond immediately, then it's also likely that you're not the type of woman who would be, let us say, on the Red Line or Yellow Line heading into DC during rush hour, on a crowded train in the first place. The sort of woman that these men target.

Do pickpockets target guys who look like Green Berets in street clothing, or do they look for more genteel victims? I think the latter. And if you're embarrassed by that then you are embarrassed by yourself as you truly are. Accept that, say "well, I learned my lesson and from now on I will not put myself into that position" and try not to let it happen again. And just realize that you were lucky, and it could have been worse. It wasn't. Life goes on.

That's half the battle. Just staying out of situations where things like this can happen. Even if it means not taking the train to work in the morning. Seriously. It's either that or learn to speak up -and speak up loudly- when some strange guy starts to rub against you. If not hit him over the head with a large metallic object. You really have 3 simple choices. Let it happen again and suffer in peace out of fear, don't get on the train in the first place and if so move away from any guys who could possibly do this (sure, right) or be ready to scream bloody murder and/or beat the shit out of any guy who may even possibly be doing this.

I like your tactical baton idea - although, I would also suggest the humble xacto knife. It's intended for artists, so, unlike a tactical baton (which is a police weapon and has no civilian uses), anybody would have a perfectly legitimate excuse to have an xacto knife in her purse/pocket ect ("I'm taking art classes").

Also, it cuts quick and clean - and those cuts hurt like a bastard.

I once saw a middle aged Polish immigrant guy grab a young African American woman's butt on the downtown 1 train just north of 59th st - she whipped out her xacto knife from the sleeve of her jacket with ninja-like speed and, in less than a second the perverted guy was crying out in pain and bewilderment as his blood splattered the subway car's floor.

When the cops came, the young lady explained that she was tired of perverts grabbing her ass on the subway during rush hour, so that's why she had brought along her xacto knife and had it tucked up her sleeve.

I don't know what happened to either one of them (the cops shooed all the spectators away while they handled the dispute) but I bet that dude never groped a woman ever again!

and aren't "raunchy dance floors" emblematic of everything religious conservatives rail about?

i'm just sayin...maybe there's a balance somewhere...

Don't you think it would be better to get victims to come forward and seek consequences for their assailants if they weren't met with, "why didn't you do this?" and "why didn't you do that?"

Tokyo Cracks Down Again!
http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1924845,00.html
It seems that a woman's defense is an umbrella and a stilleto heel.

Here is the Needle User...
http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/rc20090823a9.html
"In her schoolbag she carried a sewing kit used as part of her school activities. When troubled by a groping situation, she would quickly produce a couple of needles and push them into the offending hand or whatever. Reaction was almost instantaneous — and she traveled on undisturbed! "

What about Traveling Abroad...
http://goindia.about.com/b/2009/04/07/groping-indians-how-not-to-react.htm
""Usually, foreigners are subjected to groping by particularly the Indian men. It is harmless. Just ignore such people and enjoy your trip."

And here is a recent push in Egypt to create a law.
http://streetharassment.wordpress.com/tag/groping/

The problem is in the defense, if a woman can barely get a conviction for being raped without DNA evidence, how are these cases going to have a flipping chance.

Europe used Close Captiond TV to capture this bonehead!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-415128/Polish-Borat-claims-groping-women-normal-Eastern-Europe.html

American's including myself are antsy about being videoed for anything including speeding or running a red light.

I've witnessed this happen as a guy stepped out of a train, he accosted this beautiful woman, and stepped back as the doors closed. How do I react? The last thing she wants is to be consoled by a male stranger such as myself. If I chase the guy down, I'd get charged with Assault as the woman would be at another stop.

My suggestion is that if you see this use your cellphone and snap a picture, even if you don't get the act, you can follow this guy around until you can get a good shot and then take the time to do a report with Metro Police. Two separate reports with the same photo, has the tendancy to make the hunter the hunted.

I like the needle idea, small, doesn't set off metal dectectors. Serves a distinct purpose, and causes marginal harm in such a way that the assailant may be caught.

Overall, this behavior seems as if it is only going to be stopped by the victims themselves. Even http://www.safetyforwomen.com/ doesn't have any comments on the prevention of groping.

I'd be open to a dialoge on the defenses that women may take situationally and legaly. What kind of evidence do they need to colect to put these perps in jail.

Cheerio!
Matt

The 14-year old gets a pass cause... hell, she was only 14. Her parents should be horse-whipped.

I hope Ms Hess is doing a follow-up on on 'femme frotteurs.' Men seem to be a silent minority in "The Sexist" features.

From the web:
'2.1.1 Definition of Dissociation

Dissociation is the state in which, on some level or another, one becomes somewhat removed from "reality", whether this be daydreaming, performing actions without being fully connected to their performance ("running on
automatic"), or other, more disconnected actions. It is the opposite of "association" and involves the lack of association, usually of one's identity, with the rest of the world.

A dissociative disorder would be one in which the degree of dissociation (or the frequency of it) is such that one's functioning is somehow impaired. The DSM-III-R defines a dissociative disorder, generally, as one in which there "is a disturbance or alteration in the normally integrative functions of idneity, memory, or consciousness. The distrubance or alteration may be sudden or gradual, and transient or chronic."

It is important to note that a certain amount of dissociation is considered completely normal; most (if not all) people experience dissociation at least periodically in their life, and some mental health
workers consider dissociation to be a healthy defense mechanism, provided the dissociation itself does not cause impairment of functioning.'

I call it my "d*ck" because if I have to take it out, you WILL be on your knees.