Parent Files Complaint Against Gay Teacher Over “Child’s Sense of Innocence”
Innocence: Once a gay guinea pig takes it away, only complaining to the D.C. government will get it back.
Margaret C. Hemenway, identifying herself as a D.C. Public Schools parent, claims to have filed a complaint with Chancellor Michelle Rhee over her seven-year-old child’s “sense of innocence.” At what exact moment was the first-grader’s innocence whisked away from her, never to be returned? The moment little Hemenway’s teacher at Tenleytown’s Horace Mann Elementary allegedly announced to her first-grade class that she was planning to marry a woman. Think. Of. The. Children.
Hemenway recounts the horror for Parents and Friends Of Ex-gays (PFOX):
Our first-grader astonished her father at the end of the past school year as he dropped her off at our local Washington DC public school, Horace Mann Elementary, where he had attended school in the early 60s. She relayed to him that her teacher announced her impending marriage—to another woman—to the class. Following her revelation, this teacher encouraged questions from the children.
Our daughter also mentioned a book the teacher read aloud, “Uncle Bobby’s Wedding,” about two male “gay” guinea pigs, promoted by the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transgender Lobby for children. Since homosexual activists cannot reproduce their own children, recruitment to their cause (especially at a young age, before parents have raised such sensitive and controversial topics with their children) is essential to the political agenda of promoting homosexuality and “gay” marriage.
Nowadays, most parents are resigned to the fact that a gay guinea pig will inevitably steal their daughter’s sense of innocence, and there’s nothing they can do about it. Not Hemenway. Hemenway began the slow bureaucratic process of getting innocence restored:
Most parents would not consider a Q&A session with first-graders about homosexual marriage as an “age-appropriate” discussion. After our daughter’s revelation, we lodged a complaint with Chancellor Rhee’s office, requesting an investigation, and asking what department in the DC Government we can appeal to for restoration of our child’s sense of innocence? We are still awaiting feedback from the school on whether there is a Teacher’s “Code of Conduct” and what D.C. policy is on “age appropriate” sexuality education.
By the way, when does “sexuality education” finally become “age appropriate” for D.C. schoolkids? According to Hemenway, “There are sound reasons that sexuality topics are not generally introduced in school until fifth grade, at an age when some children begin to ask how babies are made.”
Image via Blue Stone Graphics, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0
3:53 pm
umm… I think she misunderstood. children don’t start asking how babies are made at “grade 5,” they generally start at “age 5,” if not sooner. or maybe this parent really was that incurious as a child, which would explain a lot.
3:58 pm
Jeez, straight folks.
Retarded much?
4:00 pm
I assume that’s why she’s trying to interfere with her daughter’s education — to keep her reading level down, so that when she starts being allowed to ask about reproduction in 5th grade she’s able to learn about it from books written for four- to six-year-olds.
4:03 pm
I think most kids have played the game of “ill show you mine” by first grade. Sense of innocence my ass.
4:13 pm
Also offensive: the fact that same-sex rights are framed as sexuality issues.
Yes, when you get married you commit to screwing that person for the rest of your life, but its NOT ALL ABOUT SEX. Parents have no trouble why people get married to eac hother when it is a hetero couple — they love each other, they want kids, blah blah. But when it is a same-sex partnership, they basically are like HOW DO I TELL MY CHILD ABOUT ANAL SEX OR SCISSORING? EW EW EW EW EW. GAY SEX EW.
It belies the real motivation – homophobes are grossed out by gay sex. So they make gay people ALL ABOUT SEX AND NOTHING BUT SEX. They don’t have other needs and motivations like heteros– they are assumed to be hyper-sexual beings.
Lordy.
4:20 pm
Whether the child was negatively affected or not, I think that it was inappropriate for the teacher to talk about this in front of the class because it is not relevant to her job. To me it also smacks of political indoctrination, because gay marriage is unusual at this point in history and it is disingenuous to say that the casual reference to a gay marriage is just as mundane as the casual reference to a heterosexual marriage. This teacher wanted to change that cultural reality, and condition or massage attitudes about the social acceptability of gay marriage. In her quest to change hearts and minds about acceptance homosexual marriage, this teacher selected a classroom of children.
It is no wonder that parents react in a similar way to the one mentioned in this story. An agenda is being pushed. If homosexual marriage is to be accepted in society, don’t fight for acceptance by pretending to operate on the assumption that it already is accepted, and that in front of first-graders. That tactic prioritizes a sociopolitical priority above all else, and in my view it’s both unprofessional and extremely selfish.
4:33 pm
Someone should let Hemenway know that lesbians can still have babies.
5:08 pm
John, I couldn’t disagree more. If it’s EVER acceptable to mention one’s upcoming marriage in a classroom, it is indoctrination to *forbid* GLB teachers from doing so, because then the school is allowing one set of moral beliefs to shape the presentation of an issue. If a parent opposes GLB equality, he can tell his kids that, but it’s just plain wrong to cherry-pick what factual information a child is allowed to hear with the specific goal of keeping them from possibly forming a different opinion on the topic.
5:13 pm
I get that some parents are offended by the idea of endorsing gay marriage to their kids, and as much as it pains me to say it, I suppose we can’t infringe on their right to teach their kids homophobia.
None of that changes how totally ridiculous her argument is, though. Talking about gay marriage as “a sexuality issue,” first of all. It’s already been pointed out how ridiculous and insulting that is. And the idea that first grade is too young to be exposed to it, when kids are “exposed” to heterosexual marriage pretty much since birth? And the whole “at least until they hit 5th grade and start wondering where babies come from” thing…oh please. That’s all I can say. Really? No one’s naive enough to believe that. Especially not people who were 5th graders themselves at one point, which encompasses, hm, I dunno, everybody.
5:32 pm
“Following her revelation, this teacher encouraged questions from the children.”
I call BS on that. What sane teacher is going to open up a Q & A session for 1st graders on gay marriage (or any matter in their personal life for that matter)? Furthermore, I’d be curious as to how she got her child to recall that detail.
8:01 pm
DC is such a dump.
8:10 pm
DC is just a shitty small Southern town. Get used to it.
8:25 pm
A first grader’s father was in school in the early ’60s? Probably on his third marriage by now, and still reproducing. Way to go, breeder!
8:57 pm
Well Mrs. Hemenway probably should pull her child out of DCPS and move out of the District as quick as possible with the DC City Council voting 11-2 today for the Marriage Equality Act. I’m sure there will be plenty of “sexuality education” on the nightly news from now on.
9:39 pm
Actually, Kary, if anyone should move, it is you. DC is a shitty small Selma-Ala Southern town. Mrs. H has probably lived here all of her life; you’re probably here for a few years before you move back to Ohio.
Sorry, but you got the moving all wrong. I never tell people to move except for the people who tell other people to move, & especially moronic people who tell other people to move.
DC is never going to change. The only way for DC to change is a revolution, & that will never happen. All we have here are beaten down poor people & transient self-absorbed navel-gazing yuppies; in other words, nobody gives a shit & the Last Plantation rolls merrily along.
11:51 pm
Yes, this is completely a political agenda being pushed. It couldn’t be a lesbian woman sharing her joy of being married to someone she loves with the children she teaches. A straight woman would never do the same thing! Never!
12:07 am
Here’s to hoping Rhee laughs her out of the building.
1:07 am
John, Well said. It was and is totaly innappropriate. It is sad that people posting here have the belief that most children have been sexualized by the first grade. They haven’t, but you can’t tell them that. Perhaps they were and that amy be start of the problem.
3:10 am
I originally read the line as ” ‘Hemingway’ began the slow bureaucratic process of getting innocence restored” and laughed a lot. Then resumed being furious at people who think Guinea pigs can affect sexual orientation.
9:11 am
That poor girl is probably going to become a big lezzy now. Thats what happens you know. Gay is contagious!
10:42 am
In regards to comments relating to why it was appropriate for the teacher to talk about her impending marriage- well, even first-graders know what “marriage” is and thanks to media & culture they are aware of the signals & signs; a ring, etc. and would have probably asked questions if they hadn’t already. Also, most people go on honeymoons- she might have been telling them to explain a future extended absence. When I was in third grade my teacher was pregnant and left to have her baby- of course it was explained to us that this was happening- because we asked questions! You can’t shelter a kid from life when it happens all around them, and you’ll most certainly create some serious psychological problems in doing so.
2:16 pm
JM, do you know much (anything?) about human sexual development? Humans are “sexualized” creatures from birth, even if social conservatives choose to pretend that humans are a-sexual until they turn 18, or until they exchange wedding vows, which ever comes first. Children engage in sexual exploration in private, and with their peers, at ages that would probably give you heart palpitations to think about. I know I did.
But further, how is announcing an impending marriage causing children to become “sexualized”? What is it about gay marriage that causes a social conservative to leap directly to the sexual aspect of the relationship? Is that the first thing you think of when a straight friend becomes engaged? Or do you ask about the wedding plans, the proposal, and the ring? If, as I suspect, it is the latter, then why do you approach impending same-sex nuptials any other way? Being gay is not about having sex; every human does that. Being gay is about who you prefer to have sex with.
2:55 pm
I seem to recall (dimly) a conversation circa third grade that went something like this:
Miss Teacher: I wanted to let y’all know [this was the Tennessee, so she said y'all] that I’m getting married on Saturday, so Mr. Substitute is going to be teaching my classes next week.
Student: Who are you marrying?
Miss Teacher: Fiance. You’ve seen him; he sometimes comes to pick me up after school.
Students: Oh.
So it’s not unlikely that this conversation went something like this:
Miss Teacher: I wanted to let y’all know that I’m getting married on Saturday, so Mr. Substitute is going to be teaching my classes next week.
Student: Who are you marrying?
Miss Teacher: Fiancee. You’ve seen her; she sometimes comes to pick me up after school.
Students: [Beat] DO WHAT NOW?
Miss Teacher: Fiancee.
Student: You can do that?
Miss Teacher: Yes. In some places, two women can get married.
Student: Why?
Miss Teacher: Because we love each other.
Students: [barrage of questions]
Miss Teacher: [Sigh] Okay, one at a time, people.
Indoctrination! O noes!
4:26 pm
As a parent at Ross ES where many of our parents are gay, we welcome the open discussion about adoption and same sex parents because it is the reality and it is NOT wrong. We welcome the diversity of all of our families and students and it is what enriches all of our students lives and our school community.
I am proud that my daughter (and husband) defend our friends to family members who say that a man can not marry another man or that a woman can not marry another woman. Whether or not you agree, there is a larger world out there beyond one’s own beliefs. Teaching your child to be open, whatever the age, IS a good thing.
4:56 pm
fuck you faggots
4:57 pm
My kindergarten teacher was a 60’s hottie hippie chick…Mini skirt, no underwear,… first vagina I’d ever seen.
In 7th grade, I had a lesbian math teacher, a gay science teacher, and his sub, who wore purple pant suits and nail polish(?). My social studies and hunter education teacher was caught in bed with a man by his wife and daughter. My college prep english teacher was a lesbian who lived with our lunch lady.ALL in rural southern Michigan in the 70’s.
I never caught the ‘gay’.
4:57 pm
Indoctrination!!!!!!! Oh my God, the gays are going to end the lives of all children by teaching them about being gay. GIVE ME A BREAK! The world is changing and some of you yahoos may not like it, but get used to it. This is about equality and teaching tolerance to kids so they don’t grow up to be like their prejudiced parents. My kids don’t even look at color, race, religion or sexual preference when they pick their friends. They hang with certain people because they like each other. Tolerance is taught, just like hate and prejudice. Hell, I’m even tolerant of homophobes, racists and stupid people. Change, it is a-coming!!!!
5:01 pm
Hey “Frank”…You are so typical of intolerant asses who have to use descriptive expletives to further convince people how stupid you really are.
5:08 pm
Jeez Maggie, get your mind out of the gutter! Kids are great. If your daughter is really an innocent first grader I’m sure her first thought was not, “Hmm, I wonder what they do in the bedroom naked.” It wasn’t about sex — except to her smutty mom!
5:10 pm
I agree with her that it probably wasn’t an age appropriate discussion for first grade. I also think that she’s gone WAY off the deep end in the perceived harm that’s been done to her child.
The fact that she had to go and broadcast this to an Ex-Gay group (parents and friends of??? maybe it’s just wishful thinking on their part) tells me that this is more than just concern over the appropriateness of the discussion for first graders (a legitimate concern), and is, in fact, outright homophobia.
5:10 pm
Hey, “RF” fuck off and die you cock pirate
5:13 pm
That’s the problem w/straight people such as this “woman”. Marriage is a beautiful thing and NOT all about sex. The teacher did not describe what her sex life was going to be like. She was talking about marriage. According to her and others like her, when a straight couple marries it’s sweet and beautiful, but when a gay couple marries, it’s sexual and disgusting and robs her child of her innocence. What a closed-minded bigot she is…. and she doesn’t even know it. God forbid her child grow up and announce she’s gay.
5:50 pm
Better that the teacher get married than to keep living in sin? Why is the parent against marriage? Innocence is not the same as ignorance.
5:51 pm
if anything’s TRULY disturbing about this story, it’s the thought of gay guinea pigs. *shiver*
5:59 pm
Frank- Please learn some proper english. Does homosexuality scare you that much, I think they provide counseling for that. Maybe you could make you human, and understand that what does not pertain to you does not affect you is none of your F*#@en business, ah I guess stupid is contagious. Allow me to restate; mind your own life, straighten out what affects you. See how easy that was. :)
6:03 pm
As an RN who volunteers to teach sex-ed in schools, I can tell you that kids already have a million questions about sexual matters, even in 1st grade. Getting their questions answered openly and honestly (and with a straight face) is what they’re after. When people freak out and get preachy they stop listening and start scarring.
I had two wonderful gay “uncles” in my life growing up, and they are going on 40+years in a comitted relationship. I also didn’t catch gay.
6:27 pm
“Since homosexual activists cannot reproduce their own children, recruitment to their cause (especially at a young age, before parents have raised such sensitive and controversial topics with their children) is essential to the political agenda of promoting homosexuality and “gay” marriage.”
OK, pretend this post is actually a Venn diagram with a circle labled ‘Homosexuals’ and a circle labled ‘Homosexual Activists’.
Now, imagine that the two circles are only somewhat overlapping.
Do you see what I’m getting at here?
7:50 pm
Good lord! Why do we even give Hemenway and like-minded mohorons even a line of coverage? Perhaps they will not go away if we just ignore them, but it’s worth a try for a couple weeks.
8:43 pm
Please keep your “innocent” children at home then. Someone might cough on them, or expose them to ideas if you let them go past the driveway of Shangri la you have going there at home.
9:01 pm
lgbt folx sure want the guineau pig book in school, and they sure want the discussions about gay marriage and how normal it should be thought to be, but if the comments on this page are any indication, they don’t like it when people object to those things as being a political agenda.
sorta like claiming that discussions of the differences and between same/opposite sex marriage are not sexual, political and socioeconomic in nature.
imho, the institution of marriage does not exist for the sake of the two parties’ love for each other. it exists to strengthen the legal and financial bonds between the two people FOR THE SAKE OF CHILDREN.
it is of course a stretch, but i myself would probably prefer the dissoultion of marriage for heterosexual couples without children, rather than expanding it to include any two people who can sign their names to a paper to intensify their earning power and secure rights denied to those not supported by the legal contract of marriage. i would probably prefer that marriage be permitted only to parents (whether hetero or homo) and not to anyone who does not have a child.
marriage is for the sake of children and for the welfare of the community’s growth and its future.
jmho
10:00 pm
Oh, NOES! Shield the children from nasty discussions about marriage! How will they ever avoid growing up to be *perverts* if people discuss marrying someone they love *in front* of them!?!
Jeebus, this lady needs a xanax….or ten….or a vibra (well, maybe I shouldn’t finish that sentence. I’d hate to offend someone’s sense of “innocence”.
10:16 pm
I completely support gay marraige, but as a teacher I think it was wrong to launch into a discussion on gay marraige with a class of 1st graders. It is fine she mentions she is marrying a woman, but it is a parents right to fill in the blanks. Teachers are there to teach reading, writing, etc., not politically charged topics (in first grade). I leave that up to the parents. I have a first grader and married gay friends, but I haven’t read books to my child about gay marraige. I am assuming a lot of other parents haven’t talked about “being gay” to their kids either. I am not “dumbing my child down”, I will just wait to talk about it until she asks, just like I did not discuss her aunt’s divorce until she asked.
10:55 pm
If she goes home and turns on MTV, she’s already lost her innocence. Perhaps you should be concerned about that.
10:55 pm
The child obviously didn’t think that it was a big deal as she seemingly told her parents something ‘new’ or ‘neat’ at school, not as if she was tattling on her teacher.
Mom ran with it in her mind, amazing how marriage is only sex…most “I’m married” humor is based on a lack of sexual behavior.
Trust me, after 10 yrs, it’s not really different for me and my same sex partner. And yes we are all capable of having children of our own; lesbians carry children with donated sperm, queer men have children with surrogates and some, some used to be in hetero marriages and have children without the extra steps I’d have to take.
And while at it about the age appropriate thing: I grew up resenting that my parents hiding things from myself and my brother; not sexual things but death for one and finances and budgeting even more. It serves no purpose to hide things that children encounter, it would be best to set things in perspective for them BEFORE they ask the other kids or have to find out for themselves what they don’t know.
11:49 pm
John Dias, your miscarriage of a comment essentially boils down to “hey queers, don’t try to act like you’re equal to everyone else, because you’re not”, which, in terms of disgusting bias, ranks somewhere near “get to the back of the bus”. You really seem to think that merely doing the same things heterosexuals do is “indoctrination” and unacceptable simply because people hate us. What’s really unacceptable is your backwards tendency to marginalize minorities just for being minorities, just because of a pervasive cultural bias against them. People like you belong in the 1950s, not the 21st century. Please pull your head out of the sand and join civilized society.
12:30 am
“…her teacher announced her impending marriage—to another woman—to the class. Following her revelation, this teacher encouraged questions from the children.
Our daughter also mentioned a book the teacher read aloud, “Uncle Bobby’s Wedding,” about two male “gay” guinea pigs, promoted by the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transgender Lobby for children.”
When will this teacher have a lesson on traditional marriage? When will this teacher read from a book on traditional marriage? When will she explain the negatives of same sex marriage along with any positives she can come up with? When will this teacher share the empirical studies on homosexuality and its causes with her students?
I could be wrong, but I believe the answers to these questions is “NEVER!”
1:05 am
Whether folk like it or not, homosexuality is a moral issue in the eyes of many in this country. And therein lies the problem. When it comes to issues of morality and values, NO public educator should broach those subjects with my child. They should teach abc’s and 123’s and leave the other issues to the domain of the child’s parents where they belong.
I agree 100% with the poster John Dias. This teacher was completely out of line, and frankly, I hope this story gets a LOT of publicity, so that more people can wake up and see the glbt agenda for what it is. There is no end to their pushing of the envelope and this proves it. Obviously a few recent victories have emboldened this teacher and she crossed another line, and so the dominos start to fall.
How dare you think you have a right to determine when a parent ought to discuss politically charged and/or moral issues with their own child.
1:16 am
Wow. I’d like all of you who are so up in arms about the indoctrination of children to the “gay lifestyle” to think of 3 things:
1. Go through the day without seeing THOUSANDS of depictions of heterosexual norms in every aspect of everyday life(Robbins Brothers wedding rings commercial, Viagra/Enzyte, The Princess & the Frog, ANY TV show or movie, walking down the street when you see a straight couple holding hands), & honestly tell me that the 10 or so depictions/stereotypes of LGBT life seen in comparison really affect people. You don’t need to teach kids about “traditional marriage’ when they are indoctrinated about being heterosexual & “appropriate” gender roles by 18 months of age.
2. ALL gay people are the result of heterosexual relationships. So, we don’t need to indoctrinate. YOU heterosexual folks are bringing more of us into the world because, as you incorreclty point out, gays “can’t have kids” (like you never heard of AI, IVF, fertility drugs, donor eggs/sperm, donors & surrogates for hetero couples who can’t have kids by other means).
3. Sex doesn’t keep you in ANY relationship, including marriage. Do you look at every straight married couple & just think of their bedroom activities (especially if the have kis or are pregnant)? If not, why do you go there with same sex couples?For many of you to say that the bedrock of marriage is to reproduce & raise a family, then STOP marriage for those who can’t reproduce because of age or disease, or do not want kids.
I’m in a same sex marriage. My wife & I have 4 nieces & nephews who range in age from 5-12, & who know that we love each other very much & are married, just like any other couple who loves each other. Their parents did a simples, age-appropriate convo about us, & if the kids have more questions that they want to ask us directly, they CAN. Parents didn’t make a big deal, & they have 2 Aunts who love them very much.
4:27 am
mysistagirl, getting married is not “pushing the envelope”, it’s just a part of life, an expression of love and commitment that plenty of people choose to partake in. But yes, this will certainly allow more people to “see the glbt agenda for what it is”: our “agenda” aims for the same uncontroversial normality that heterosexuals enjoy every day of their lives without being questioned or accused of having an “agenda” or of “pushing the envelope” by marrying a loved one.
6:21 am
Maybe the teacher just wanted to humanise gay marriage for the kids. There’s nothing quite like knowing and caring about a person who is differnt to break down prejudice. It’s not like we didn’t find stuff out about our teachers through parents’ gossiping – at least this way she could confront the issue and deal with kids’ questions.
6:27 am
Emily
December 15th, 2009
4:13 pm #5Also offensive: the fact that same-sex rights are framed as sexuality issues.
Yes, when you get married you commit to screwing that person for the rest of your life, but its NOT ALL ABOUT SEX. Parents have no trouble why people get married to eac hother when it is a hetero couple — they love each other, they want kids, blah blah. But when it is a same-sex partnership, they basically are like HOW DO I TELL MY CHILD ABOUT ANAL SEX OR SCISSORING? EW EW EW EW EW. GAY SEX EW.
It belies the real motivation – homophobes are grossed out by gay sex. So they make gay people ALL ABOUT SEX AND NOTHING BUT SEX. They don’t have other needs and motivations like heteros– they are assumed to be hyper-sexual beings.
Lordy.
I wish my boyfriend was a HYPER-SEXUAL BEING ;o)
Lee
8:02 am
Statistically, about 10% of those first graders already are gay. What about them and their feelings as they grow up and realize they are in a minority? Don’t they have a right to know there are role models and and people they can turn to as they mature into adults?
Also statistically, there are some first graders in that class who have a gay parent. What about them, don’t they have a right to know that their family is just a different kind of normal?
8:54 am
10%? and someone calling a parent a “Breeder”??? any of you figuring out why straight people have a problem with some of you? Much like Democrats your your own worst enemy.
I have no problem with sexuality, my best friend who passed away 5 years ago was gay but I DO have a problem with the thought process whereas anyone thinks it’s place to educate my child when it comes to sexuality.
In my opinion the teacher was WAY out of line with her book reading. Telling the children she was going to marry and even that she was going to marry a same sex partner is fine but the book? was a step to far for this parent. It’s my lace to guide my child through this area but for those rampant frothing GL on this site? You will, sooner or later, realize that you cannot force something gown the throats of straight parents. You just can’t/won’t. We won’t allow it. History teaches that and yet still you keep at it instead of looking at this issue from both sides. You won’t change straight parents over night and you darn sure won’t by calling us breeders or throwing out false stats.
I agree with the parent.
8:59 am
First of all, it is NOT age appropriate to discuss sex or marriage, whether homosexual or heterosexual to a minor child. Secondly, the teacher overstepped her bounds because her job is reading, writing and arithmetic! … not the ‘gay’ issue! As far as morality and sexuality those issues are the responsibility of the parents. Just like a chosen religion, I will teach my child what OUR family views are and they will decide their choice when they become an adult. Otherwise, KEEP YOUR IDEOLOGIES to YOURSELF! Everyone is afforded CIVIL RIGHTS …. what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business, DO NOT try to shove it down everyone else’s throat! I stand behind this parent because once a child’s is exposed to information you CANNOT take it back! So, …. my advice to anyone that tries to push their agenda in the classroom full of minor children, ….. KEEP YOUR AFFAIRS to YOURSELF!!!
I am a parent and I am working on my teaching degree and I REFUSE to TEACH anything contrary to NATURE!
9:25 am
This is pathetic. Marriage just isn’t a sexual issue. If this teacher had said, “I’m marrying my long-time boyfriend John” no one would have cared. I’m fairly certain married heterosexuals have sex too, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to give details to 7 year olds.
In addition, imagine if she was in a hetero marriage and announced “I’m pregnant, and will be having a baby by the spring.” That actually would be a sexual issue, but it would also be completely appropriate. Learning where babies come from happens at a young age. If you have a younger sibling, it’s fairly obvious when your mother is pregnant.
9:30 am
TownCryer…You hit the nail right in the head! I couldn’t have articulated it any clearer. What this teacher did was selfish and irresponsible. My parents, did not discuss homosexuals in our household, negatively or positively…it just never came up. None of my elementary school friends, and I had ever even discussed homosexuals. I cannot remember exactly when I was first introduced to the topic of homosexuality, but I was raised to respect everyone. In high school, I made friends and during those years some of them came out and some waited until college. It did not change how I felt about them, but we have had discussions about this topic. My stance is this. Children in this country lose their innocence much too early. I watch over my own diligently and know that for now, they have no idea how a baby is made. I want to be the one to introduce them to these topics. I want them to understand that even if you may not agree with a certain lifestyle, they are to be respected.
9:43 am
Reponse to ‘JB’ ….. as far as your statistics … whether these children …. we are talking about children …. whether or not they become gay is not the issue … the issue is that NO ONE has the right to push their own agenda in school with SOMEONE ELSE’s CHILD!!!!! And all children need role models, but again that it up to their parents … including gay parents .. that’s their job …. not the teacher or the school or ANYONE elso outside the HOME ….
As far as ‘gay’ being a ‘minority’ …. OF COURSE THEY ARE! BECAUSE THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE NOT GAY!!!! If a person chooses to become gay … that does NOT entitle them to special treatment!
9:59 am
gay marriage is not about love. it is about money and legal protections. so is non-gay marriage.
people can love each oither without being married, but they cannot have the legal benefits of marriage without the law permitting it. the gay agenda for marriage is to provide legal benefits to them.
if one recalls that marriage is for the support of the family – meaning children – one can see that gay marriage in the absence of children is of no social value except to the financial and legal benefits of the partners. gay parents should be allowed to marry other gay people, but society derives no benefit from premittying gays without children to marry each other.
10:05 am
Joe Nihau …. This country has allowed ‘Civil Union’ for gay people … they can marry and put their partner on their insurance or pension etc. …. they have an option … there is NO reason for them to ‘change’ the definition of marriage except to ‘legitimize’ their choice and make it ‘acceptable’ to the straight world!
Gay marriage has nothing to do with ‘family values’ as they are portraying … they are using children as the wedge to push this issue.
WAKE UP AMERICA …. THE LINES ARE DRAWN AND THE BATTLE HAS BEGUN! FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR DECENDANTS!
10:43 am
If the teacher had read the children “Cinderella,” would that be considered pushing a Heterosexual agenda? Or a monarchist, pro-indentured servitude agenda, for that matter?
I can KIND of understand some less open-minded parents being upset about the book — but complaining about the teacher mentioning her upcoming nuptuals and letting the children ask questions? What the hell is wrong with that?
11:11 am
Jeremiah A –
When will this teacher have a lesson on traditional marriage? When will this teacher read from a book on traditional marriage? When will she explain the negatives of same sex marriage along with any positives she can come up with? When will this teacher share the empirical studies on homosexuality and its causes with her students?
Statistically, most of the kids in her class live in some form of a traditional marriage, so they don’t need a lesson in it. It would be like teaching ESOL to native English speakers. Almost every book with a married couple in it is about traditional marriage, as is every “Disney Princess” movie and every show on Nickelodeon. Of course, if you’d like her to give a lesson on marriages-of-convenience and shotgun marriages and unhappy-marriages-staying-together-for-the-children, I’m sure it can be arranged.
But if you’d like her to teach the negatives associated with homosexual marriage, it would only be fair to teach the negatives associated with heterosexual marriage, right? I have a few friends with divorced parents who would be more than happy to write that curriculum.
TownCryer –
Joe Nihau …. This country has allowed ‘Civil Union’ for gay people … they can marry and put their partner on their insurance or pension etc. …. they have an option …
This is… not true. It’s just incorrect, in the sense that your facts are wrong. If you look at facts that are correct, and then look at your facts, you’ll see that they’re different.
11:36 am
Teaching first graders about an issue, same sex marriage, that only directly affects 2-5% of the American population is not really appropriate. Usually it is in fifth grade when children began health/sex education. And I think it would be appropriate to talk to them about divorce and the negativities of adultery and extramarital relations, and how children do best when raised by their two opposite-sex biological parents.
11:47 am
Isn’t it interesting how gay marriage is “all about sex” but somehow the topic never comes up when we talk about straight marriage.
When you here that a straight couple is getting hitched is your first question “What do you guys do in the sack?”, I doubt it.
Such hypocrites.
12:11 pm
YOU ALL MISS THE POINT …. REGARDLESS IF WE ARE TALKING ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGES OR HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGES …. IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE FOR THE TEACHER OR THE SCHOOL SYSTEM TO PRESENT THIS INFORMOATION TO SOMEONE ELSE’S CHILD !!!! THEIR JOB IS ACADEMICS … NOT POLITICS OR RELIGION …. ANY IDEOLOGY WITHIN A CULTURE SHOULD BE TAUGHT BY THEIR OWN FAMILY … NOT AN OUSIDER! WHAT IF A GAY-PARENT SENT THEIR CHILD TO SCHOOL AND THE STRAIGHT-TEACHER OPENED A DISCUSSION ABOUT ADULT RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMEN … DONT YOU THINK THAT THE GAY-PARENT WOULD BE UPSET THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS CULTIVATING VALUES THEY DON’T SUPPORT?!!!! BOTTOM LINE … STAY OUT OF MY KID’S HEAD AND STICK TO THE CURRICULUM! PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT!
12:15 pm
As for all those saying, “Teachers should only teach reading, writing, & arithmetic” or “it’s not their place to discuss moral issues,” etc. NONSENSE.
Critical thinking is the single most vital part of education at any age, and this requires open, thoughtful discussions and a safe place to engage in them with one’s peers. Socialization happens to a major extent through one’s peers, not the dictates of one’s parents (and parents who think otherwise are in for a very rude awakening!). Teachers are on the forefront of teaching many moral values to kids–sharing, fairness, honesty, kindness, **tolerance,** civility, respect, etc. Hopefully kids are also getting these messages at home, but it’s absurd to think that any school could function without fostering those values to their educational community, which is the first “society” in which kids take part.
Moreover, the parents that try to control the terms of discussion are stunting their children intellectually, emotionally, and socially. Studies show that parents who are reluctant to talk to their kids about race tend to foster racial hang-ups in their kids, and the abstinence-only model of education and/or parenting also shows how dangerous limiting information can be. Keep in mind that these are probably also the same parents who want to forbid evolution from being taught in schools, who want to wipe history classes free of any mention of America’s imperfections, and who think that the likes of Thurgood Marshall and Cesar Chavez should be eliminated from social studies.
Schools have a vital obligation to assist students to become well-informed, intellectually curious, independent thinkers–skills that will serve our youth to reach their fullest potential economically, socially, and personally–not to create a bunch of calculators and spell-checkers. If parents are so insistent on sheltering their kids (with all the attendant harm that may do), they are free to homeschool them or join with like-minded parents, but they should not hamper necessary aspects of education for the rest of the populace.
12:33 pm
Well, my son was at least in 6th grade before he discovered just how HOT HOT HOT lesbian sex can be. 1st grade seems too young for that subject.
12:40 pm
JeremiahA -
and how children do best when raised by their two opposite-sex biological parents.
Citation, please.
TownCryer –
WHAT IF A GAY-PARENT SENT THEIR CHILD TO SCHOOL AND THE STRAIGHT-TEACHER OPENED A DISCUSSION ABOUT ADULT RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMEN … DONT YOU THINK THAT THE GAY-PARENT WOULD BE UPSET THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS CULTIVATING VALUES THEY DON’T SUPPORT?!!!!
Once again, no. I don’t know a single gay parent – or, for that matter, a single gay person – who doesn’t “support” heterosexuality. It’s not like they object to it as a concept and campaign hard to make everyone be gay because heterosexuality will be the downfall of humanity; they just want the freedom to live their lives without being condemned as evil and aberrant by all of the closed-minded fundamentalist wackaloons out there. And they want their children to have the freedom to, gay or straight, live their lives as they choose.
Now, if a gay parent sent their child to school and the teacher opened a discussion of how gays are immoral and evil and want to corrupt the innocent little children and are all going to hell and will cause Jesus to blow up the world, that I’m sure they would object to, because that would go against their values.
LeftSidePositive – Yes. What you just said.
1:17 pm
The comments being left here bring up good points from various viewpoints. However, it seems the core issue of the article isn’t whether you agree with the morality of gay marriage, but rather that there are certain issues that should not be taught to 1st graders. Assuming that the claim by the parent is somewhat accurate in it’s details, I would agree with the parent that it was not appropriate for the teacher to discuss aspects of her personal life with her students in such a manner.
Going beyond this instance, I feel that it shouldn’t be appropriate for a teacher to go into details about their personal life with students on any subject. While you can focus on this issue and make it about a stance on gay marriage, if you consider it in a larger view, would it be appropriate for a teacher to discuss their beliefs on religion or politics with your first grader? Their has to be a line drawn between the curriculum that a teacher is assigned to teach, and material that is personal to the teacher.
Some comments have made reference to expanding kids minds on all subjects and making them aware of what is going on in the world. While I personally want my kids (including my first grader) to be informed about the world around them and be able to make their own choices free of the constraints from my beliefs or religious views, there are many parents who do not want their kids exposed to material that conflicts with their religious or political views. This is their right. For example, if you are Catholic, would you approve of a teacher talking about their beliefs as a Jehovah’s Witness to your first grader and then giving them the Watchtower to read? Probably not. Just as I would doubt that a Jehovah’s Witness would approve of a teacher talking about their beliefs as a Muslim to their first grader and giving them a primer on the Koran. How about if the teacher is a swinger? Or believes in plural marriage? Or wants gender reassignment surgery? There have to be topics that are still relegated to Parents to teach as they see fit.
1:45 pm
@ C.S. Hander: I must respectfully disagree. I think students benefit immensely from seeing their teachers humanized, and relating to them as people. I can say without hesitation that the best teachers I have had were open about who they were, and who shared a little bit of their lives and personalities with their students. Not at the expense of teaching the curriculum, mind you, but enough that as a kid of varying ages I could appreciate that these people who taught me had all sorts of interesting things going on in their lives.
What this teacher did was simply to be open about who she was–not about “pushing a gay agenda” but just exercising the freedom to BE. Just like I would not object to any teacher amusing students with a story about their husband or kids, or referring in an offhand manner to something that happened at the church/temple/mosque picnic, because we all benefit by being open and free about who we are as people.
As for the book, I would absolutely support a teacher including information about sensitivity toward other religions, non-traditional families, etc. This is NOT to say class time should be spent proselytizing for any cause, but any one of those you suggested could be a teaching moment for “in-your-life-you’ll-meet-people-who-are-different-from-you-and-appreciate-them-and-be-nice-to-them” (yes, even being transsexual: trans people generally know that they are trans from when they are toddlers, and a teacher may indeed have a student as early as first grade dealing with a non-traditional gender identity, and as such the classroom should be a place of openness and acceptance).
2:05 pm
@LeftSidePositive: Good points. Knowing about the wide range of experiences in life can certainly benefit understanding in students. I am not against such discussions at older ages, and I very much wish that there were classes for students exposing them to all the various religions – it would go a long way in creating tolerance for other ways of life. So much of the grief in our world is caused by differing religious viewpoints and beliefs. And I can certainly appreciate the benefits in sharing personal experience in teaching. But in my opinion, a 1st grade classroom is not the appropriate place for a teacher to exercise their desire to “be”. Some personal information will happen, and is only natural as humans interact. But if the parent’s description in this issue is to be believed, it went a little further than that. Of course, we can only go by what we read, and it may just have been the teacher mentioning her marriage offhand and a parent overreacting, like another poster suggested.
2:16 pm
As a teacher of young children (ages 4-9), and as a gay man, I wish America would GROW UP and educate itself about world religious studies, human sexuality, and the Constitution.
Until you make a law that forbids ALL heterosexual teachers from revealing their “sexuality”, which includes NOT having any pictures of family present, refusing to answer all questions about family, husband, etc., and forbiding ALL discussions of marriage and weddings (which promote the Heterosexual Dictatorship), then you will just have to DEAL WITH US!
2:50 pm
Unsurprisingly Ms. Hemenway worked for Rep. Mark Souder, who apparently thinks the clearer the bible is on an issue, the more he can’t exercise any personal judgment (except for the part where he picks and chooses what part of the bible he considers “clear.”)
I truly hope C.S. Hander is never in a position to be deciding who gets to “be” and who doesn’t.
Frankly I distinctly remember already feeling attraction to the opposite sex as early as first grade. I assume, therefore, that many first graders may find themselves attracted to kids of the same sex. Why not let those kids know as soon as possible that the feelings they have are completely normal and acceptable?
In other words, why not let first graders know it’s ok to “be?”
2:53 pm
((((When will this teacher have a lesson on traditional marriage?)))
The first time they talk about what your mommy does and what your daddy does.
(((When will this teacher read from a book on traditional marriage? )))
The first time she reads from a book where the princess marries the prince.
2:57 pm
talking about “gay” marriage to a first grader is the same at talking about marriage. you don’t go into details about the honeymoon.
i seriously doubt the discussion was about sex as it’s rarely in a first grader’s mind orbit. (but of course it’s in the mind of the mom who just assumes the worst she can about gay teachers).
3:48 pm
Frank, “cock pirate” is the best you can come up with?? Ahoy, matie…er, I mean moron.
3:55 pm
After reading this article and its comments, it is CLEARLY preferable to be gay theses days.
I simply can’t imagine walking this earth with the kind of hatred and bigotry towards the very gay children that were all 100% created by heterosexuals.
What kind of deplorable species, besides heterosexual humans, would ever treat their offspring in such a vile manner? Oh, that’s right – NONE. Only the ‘human breeders.’
Where can I sign up for ‘the gay?’
Because it is becoming increasingly embarrassing to be on the hetero end of the spectrum.
Mark my words that there will be comments beneath this one that state that homosexuality is not natural and does not occur in nature.
Well, human beings ARE part of nature. And so the existence of homosexuality IS natural by definition.
And it does not only exist in human beings. It is observed in nearly every species of animal.
However, human beings are the only ones to abuse, degrade and dehumanize living beings for being as nature made them.
Read all about gay animals here: http://seedmagazine.com/content/article/the_gay_animal_kingdom/?page=all&p=y
And to my fellow ‘breeders:’ It is time to stop abusing our gay children!!!!!
No matter what God tells you.
4:11 pm
c’mon folks,
I don’t know about the “innocence” part of this equation, but politics doesn’t have a place in a first grade classroom. Obviously the teacher has an agenda here and was using a captive audience. If the shoe was on the other foot opposition to this would be strong. This is a clear abuse of her role as a teacher. No one should be surprised that people complained, guess what, gay marriage is controvercial.
This is the kind of unprofessional conduct that hurts the cause by feeding the stereotype that gay teachers have an agenda to exploit the classroom to advance personal political/social opinions.
4:13 pm
Nobody has a lock on love and attraction can teach and grow the soul. Nobody can explain why some people are attracted to their same sex. Religion is a pitiful attempt to prune the vast possibilities into a safe knit tight reality for those too timid to brave the mystery of life.
Nothing robs a child of their innocence faster or more effectively than a shut down fearful parent who in the name of protecting children teach judgment, hate, and suspicion instead of wonder, love, and trust. The anti-gay people are suspicious of gay people because they refuse to acknowledge them as whole individuals.
Their act of denial and inaccurate judgment is transmitted to children as harsh inflexible rules based on suspicion and fear. In this way Margaret C. Hemenway damages the innocent of the growing spirit of the child. She is a bad parent.
4:18 pm
Reid: As I said in my post, I don’t think a 1st grade classroom is the environment to “be”. Do you believe that a 1st grade classroom is the appropriate place where you can express yourself in any way you choose? If so, is there any personal content that is off limits? If you allow one personal “topic”, but not another, you will have people saying it is unfair and prejudicial to that topic. There has to be guidelines to cover things, and they have to be applied fairly. I made no moral or political judgments on gay marriage, or any other topic or belief. A teacher is employed by a school to teach a particular curriculum. Their personal life is not part of the curriculum. You are employed to do a job, not “be”.
A poster commented that there is no difference between discussing hetro marriage and gay marriage. Some people agree, some people don’t. That’s not the issue here. The issue is that it’s not part of the curriculum, and so those parents have a right to disagree with a book on the subject being given to students and the teacher opening the subject to comments (again, if that is actually what happened).
(For the record, I live in Palm Springs, CA where 50% of the population is openly gay. My wife and I have many gay friends, including married couples. I don’t have an issue with the teacher being gay or married.)
4:34 pm
Okay, I’m game. If gay marriage is automatically political, if it’s automatically sexualized, if merely knowing that gay people exist is enough to steal a child’s innocence, if there is no way that a teacher can mention her wife without having an agenda, then we need to leave marriage out of schools. All marriage. Because if learning about gay marriage will automatically make first-graders think about gay, gay sex, learning about traditional marriage will automatically make them think about straight sex.
So from now on, no teacher can mention being married. There can be no references to a husband or wife or, for that matter, partner; if the subject of a significant other comes up for any reason or in any context, that person must be referred to as “friend.” No pictures can be displayed that aren’t of blood relatives or pets. If a teacher becomes pregnant, she can never mention it, and she has to step down as soon as she begins to show and not return until after the baby has been delivered so her first-graders never wonder about how it was made, since that’s more sexual than anything. And absolutely no wedding rings.
Because apparently marriage is sexualized and political and innocence-stealing.
4:34 pm
Here’s my comment, in verse:
I too am a Northwest DC public school parent,
And though it’s not from Mrs. Hemenway’s behavior apparent,
Usually, we’re a friendly and tolerant bunch,
But she’s an exception, I’ve got a hunch.
Margaret Hemenway mourns her daughter’s lost innocence,
So first let me just say, in her defence
That I too remember when my daughers were small,
Untouched by the world’s slings and arrows and slings and all.
Children lose their innocence when they start to see the world as it is–
A homeless man on the corner, or someone screaming in public at their kids.
It happens little by little, and it’s usually hard to know
Exactly when a child’s innocence starts to go.
But in this case, the reason is clear
Why little Christina’s innocence started to disappear.
Her loss of innocence can be traced to one action
And the person responsible should answer for her infraction.
The person responsible should be harshly condemned
For the loss of innocence which from her act stemmed.
And the person responsible is none other…
Than little Christina’s very own mother.
People believed blacks were inferior, back in the Day,
But even bigoted parents know what they can and can’t say.
Society now looks upon racism suspiciously,
So if you want to teach it to your kids, you’ve got to do so surreptitiously.
Not so with homosexuality, for which “religious” parents state
That the Bible requires them to discriminate.
Religious beliefs must be respected, as we all learn in school.
After all, who’s against the Golden Rule?
Never mind that the Bible was also used to justify
Slavery and racism in years gone by.
That view’s long since been discredited,
And those parts of the Bible edited.
But homosexuality is still seen by some as an abomination,
Which in their minds justifies civil discrimination.
Conservative Christian parents teach their children
That homosexuality is a horrible sin.
Mrs. H, there are a million different ways you could have explained
The teacher’s announcement about which you complained.
What kept you from simply telling your daughter then
That sometimes girls like girls and men like men?
Or you could even have said that you believe marriage is meant
A union between a man and woman to represent,
Adding that not everyone believes as you do,
So we shouldn’t be unfair if they want to get married too.
And so far as Uncle Bobby the gay guinea pig is concerned,
These books teach a lesson that by kids should be learned:
People are different, with different wants and desires,
And it should be love, not fear, those that difference inspires.
Instead, you pass on your “traditional” views, whatever the cost,
And then complain that your daughter’s innocence is lost?
Ms. H, you’re the one that caused all this upheaval
By telling poor Christina that her favorite teacher is evil.
(Read more at http://newsericks.com/gay-rights. PS: Christina’s not the daughter’s real name. I called her that because that’s the daughter in “Mommy Dearest”.)
4:54 pm
ACG, you are so hyperbolic. According to the complaint, the teacher didn’t just happen to mention she is getting married, she made a marriage announcement to her class and then encouraged questions. Then she read books endorsing gay marriage. lets be intellectually honest here, the teacher was pushing the issue. she was the one that was making a big deal out of things and turning her marriage into a school lesson. Obviously, the teacher doesn’t agree with you that is just the same as casually mentioning hetero marriage.
I have no opinion about “innocence”, but this is a captive audience of 1st graders. if the complaint is correct, i would say the teacher was clearly exploiting her role as teacher.
5:18 pm
on one hand, if i started talking to a group of first graders about my heterosexual marriage to my wife and encouraged questions, that would be creepy as hell.
but on the other hand, Hemenway sounds like a nut job.
5:50 pm
“A poster commented that there is no difference between discussing hetro marriage and gay marriage. Some people agree, some people don’t. That’s not the issue here”
No, that’s the exact issue here. And as of tomorrow, under the laws of the District of Columbia there is no difference between gay and straight marriage.
School is absolutely the place for socialization. And that socialization is perhaps more important during the early years than the later years. Just as it’s important to teach a first grader that it’s wrong to cut a line, it’s equally important to teach them the existence of gay marriage, seeing as both are about respecting other people’s rights.
So in one way I agree with Hemenway. It is socialization. But guess what? It’s socialization of the right value. To keep it out would be socialization of the wrong value, namely marginalization.
Besides, I seriously doubt Hemenway would want gay marriage discussed to middle school or high schoolers unless it was adequately marginalized.
5:56 pm
Mace, “according to the complaint” is a good phrase to use there. All we have to go on here is the report of one angry mother who chose to tell her story through PFOX, which isn’t the least biased nor the least inflammatory organization she could find. She based her complaint entirely on a story told to her by her first-grader, who I’m sure is an entirely reliable narrator. And to our knowledge, no other students or parents have objected to an incident that would, if it took place precisely as Hemenway’s six-year-old reports, have parents up in arms.
So if it happened as Hemenway says, then the teacher was certainly out of line. If it happened in such a way that it didn’t draw any other attention and the principal, by Hemenway’s own report, approved it, chances are it was something ever-so-slightly less objectionable.
6:55 pm
I blame the straight folks – they’re the ones having all the gay children.
7:19 pm
Where exactly was the “sexuality” in the conversation? If a straight teacher announces she’s getting married, it’s not considered inappropriate. What’s the difference? This is “Postcards From Buster” all over again. Ridiculous.
8:24 pm
weelll ACG, being unsure about the veracity of the report does not seem to have prevented anyone else from having an opinion about this, why me? I even qualified it while most others did not.
to your other point, when I was going to school, the majority of parents didn’t pay a lot of attention to the content of their children’s classes, so I don’t accept that a lack of outcry is in itself damning.
I also think that the fact that the principal approved it suggests that it was in fact a lesson, not just a casual mentioning of ones marital status. The fact even that she ran it by her boss indicates the the teacher knew it might not be deemed appropriate or was at least part of an ongoing public debate.
I think that 1st graders are a captive audience. I don’t, as someone else noted above approvingly, support the notion that public schools should be in the business of socializing values. The fact is that though we think it is fine value, others do not, and they have a right to have their children raised their own way. Cutting in line is not an appropriate counter example, you have to have some discipline and basic fairness in your school to run it right so kids don’t run wild.
I intend no irony in this, but its like the free speech issue. To respect it, some ugly things will be heard. If this weren’t so, great myths that were popular could reign forever supreme with those of differing opinions jailed or their books banned. Many people don’t really support free speech, just speech they agree with. A lot of people on this thread support the lesson because they believe the values inherent to it are good, and I agree. But you have to imagine that this may not always be the case, and that with a different school or time, etc.. values you do not appreciate were being taught. I for instance don’t support public religious displays at school either.
everyone likes the controversial lesson they agree with..but what about when it becomes one that you don’t? what then?
9:17 pm
The parent is obviously pissed because somebody told her child it is okay to be gay before she could tell her that it isn’t. If anyone is pushing a political agenda here, it is the parent.
11:05 pm
I might have some questions as to what exactly was said in such an encounter were my children involved, but I sure wouldn’t be raising heck about it on the basis of what I’ve read of it so far. They weren’t talking about sex — they were talking about love, and marriage, which seem to have always been pretty acceptable societal concepts, even in school.
Teachers get married. Teachers have babies. The kids know why teachers are out on leave, or on vacation, and there’s a substitute teacher for more than a day… At that age, in particular, kids LOOOOVE their teachers, and want to know even their dogs’ names — it’s a very personal relationship, and it would be sad to deny the kids the comfort of a nurturing relationship at school.
As for how my husband and I handle these matters… My kids probably have no memory of a time that they DIDN’T know that there are girl/boy relationships, boy/boy relationships, and girl/girl relationships that are more than just friends.
I haven’t gone out of my way to bring these things up, because I haven’t had to. As we were out & about in the world, my kids have seen things, and I in turn have seen the curiosity in their faces. I’ve always asked if they have any questions, or what they’re thinking, and they ask. They’ve learned about “THE facts of life” and other facts of life as exposure to real life has introduced questions which I answered.
This woman, by artificially imposing “innocence” on her kids, is missing huge opportunities to be the first to discuss important things with her kids. Instead, what little they learn will be rumors and misconceptions their peers share with them.
At some point, “innocence” just becomes ignorance. Her children are no doubt well on their way down that path.
3:17 am
“How are we supposed to teach our kids that it’s okay for Ugandans to kill gays if all these gays go around acting like normal, harmless people all the time? That’s indoctrination!”
- I put quotes around it because it’s what these people are thinking but are too afraid to put into words.
8:19 am
I can understand she didn’t need to invite a Q and A session or give any insight as to what gender her significant other was, but at the same time it ultimately does no harm; although it probably has caused some confusion for the kids. With gay rights being such a sensitive issue, a little more thought by the teacher would have been nice.
I understand the gay marriage victory recently, and the excitement for a lot of people, but excitement is no reason to throw the particulars of your relationship around at kids, especially when they’re not yours. It’s really not the teacher’s decision when the kids will learn about homosexual relationships. A “loss of innocence” is a complete joke, but a teacher doesn’t make parenting decisions; parents do.
10:56 am
“I blame the straight folks – they’re the ones having all the gay children.”
hahahaha.
11:40 am
The other day, I took my 5 yr old son to a Christmas carnival in our town. We were standing in line when my son started talking to the little boy behind us in line. “Where are your parents?” asked my son. The little boy pointed to his two dads, “That’s them,” he said.” My son took one look at them and quickly said, “Hi, Gabe’s dads!” and went on to discuss what he wanted for Christmas. Don’t you wish we could all be like that?
1:56 pm
Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today…
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace…
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world…
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one
4:56 pm
Why does everything have to be an absolute.
1) This was an age inappropriate discussion for this teacher to have with her students; and
2) The response by the mother of the young girl was way out of line.
6:32 pm
Fuck you FRANK ;)
4:40 am
I agree this was total inappropriate. Teacher’s should leave their lifestyle out of the classroom. Just merely acknowledging, talking, and answering question about any lifestyle is wrong!
Therefore I propose,
-That Jews have to take their yamakas off. (We can’t have question about Judism, corrupting young Christians minds.)(furthermore question about Judism is not in the lesson plan)
-That teachers in inter-racial relationships have to hide their relationships, no ring, no photo, nothing at all. (their inter-racial marriage might offend some kids whose parents are part of the KLAN.)
10:57 am
ACG -
Here are the citations you requested concerning my comment, “…and how children do best when raised by their two opposite-sex biological parents.”
I very, very rarely cite studies because anyone can find a biased study supporting their view, and most studies usually state something we already knew. (As you can see, I do not have a hight opinion of studies.) But you did ask me to cite some sources so here we go…
In my opinion, the first two sources I cite have the most value and seem to be ignored the most often. (And I am not implying that you, ACG, do not use these sources. I only wish to express their importance.)
Citation #1: Everyday Common Sense
Citation #2: Recorded Human History
And now for the others:
Mary Parke, “Are married Parents Really Better for Childre?” Center for Law and Social Policy, Policy Brief (2003)
Ronald Rohner and Robert Veneziano, “The Importance of Father Love: History and Contemporary Evidence,” Review of General Psychology (2001)
David Popenoe, “Life Without Father: Compelling Evidence that Fatherhood and Marriage Are Indispensable or the Good of Children,” (1996)
Paul Amato and Fernando Rivera, “Paternal Inovlvement and Children’s Behavior Problems,” Journal of Marriage and the Family (1999)
Bronislaw Malinowsk, “Sex, Culture, and Myth,” (1962)
Judith Stacey and Timothy Biblarz, “(How) Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter?” American Sociological Review (2001)
Kristin Moore, “Marriage From a Child’s Perspective: How Does Family Structure Affect Children, What Can We Do About It?” Child Trends Resarch Brief (2002)
Kyle Preuett, “Fatherneed: Why Father Care is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child,” (2000)
—————
ACG- Your wrote, “I don’t know a single gay parent – or, for that matter, a single gay person – who doesn’t “support” heterosexuality.”
I would have to disagree with you here in only one sense. And I want to stress “in only one sense.” Many homosexual activist and advocate websites and organizations seem to offer much support to heterosexuals who feel that they are homosexual. However, these websites and organizations do not support homosexuals who want counseling or assistance to change to a heterosexual lifestyle. Some claim that Sexual Orientation Change Efforts are ineffective, though the American Psychological Association did not support that conclusion in their “Appropriate Therapeutic Responsese to Sexual Orientation” report (2009).
Anyway, I prefer compelling arguments to citations because then I do not have to go back and look through the piles of paper on my desk. I hope some of these citations may be of some help to you or someone else.
8:15 pm
To be honest, I’m mildly disappointed that this story didn’t turn out to be about a pair of same-sex guinea pigs in a kindergarten class. Gettin freaky on the exercise wheel. Bow chica bow wow.
@Jeff Chang #97 – also, hetero married teachers should leave their wedding bands at home and never mention their spouses or children while on the job. Because it would be wrong to indoctrinate children on their personal sexual lifestyle choices.
11:20 pm
Bill:
“Jeez, straight folks.
Retarded much?”
Bill, I’m not sure if you’re aware that some folks who don’t identify as able-bodied find the term “retarded” quite offensive. Try to bear in mind that feminism blogs should be safe spaces for all people, not places that make some people feel excluded/insulted/unsafe and/or alienated.
Apart from that, some of the comments in this thread, particularly with regards to the way the writers seem to be oblivious of the normative status of heterosexuality, and the politicised characterisation of being gay, are quite disturbing.
12:14 pm
thanks, caffeineadddict.
call me when the shuttle lands.
5:50 pm
Homophobes are gay.
11:58 am
So what? We must turn elementary children into a homosexual farm team,to increase the pickins.In a reality ,you are teaching homosexuality along with math,science,history and lit.So whats your award,forty kinds of V.D.?
10:17 am
LOL, I also thought this article would be about a pair of male guinea pigs in the classroom who decided to ‘get it on’… although I don’t doubt that those particular parents would have been just as upset.
In this case, people can debate all they want about whether or not it’s an ‘appropriate’ topic for first-graders, but it’s inevitable. What happens if the children draw pictures of (or talk about) their families and one student has two daddies? What happens if some child says “I went to my aunt’s wedding and she got married to a girl!” during some sort of show-and-tell/sharing time? During those situations, kids are going to start asking questions to the teacher, and are going to get very curious if the teacher suddenly tries to change topics or distract them.
Also, I think that however such a discussion comes up, reading a children’s book is not an inappropriate response. Sometimes it’s easier to deal with awkward questions by reading a book that’s been pre-screened and deemed appropriate rather than by trying to answer them yourself and worrying if you’re giving out too much information or saying something that is age-inappropriate. IMO, all teachers for young children should have a supply of age-appropriate books like that for awkward questions like “Where do babies come from?” or “My aunt and uncle are getting something called a divorce, what is that?” or “Why is our goldfish swimming upside-down?”
4:07 pm
are the people answering gay or single? or just perverts toward children?
11:59 pm
Margaret Hemenway complained about this months ago. I mean many months ago. Why is she bringing it up again?
She’s also a birther. Her father-in-law, John Hemenway, was the lawyer who worked with Phil Berg to file a suit about the whole birth certificate thing. Recently, however, as birthers do, Phil Berg is involved in a birther war with Mr. Hemenway. Berg and another attorney named Joyce contend that Mr. Hemenway is not all there anymore. Margaret defends her father-in-law.
Margaret also writes about the evil of Islam.
Everything is evil to Margaret. She should just stay home with the curtains drawn.
6:37 pm
So gay people have to ‘recruit’ children to join their club because they cannot procreate?? Where do people get these ideas????.. and you cannot TEACH someone to be gay either.. did someone teach you how to be straight?
10:45 am
Is it appropriate for a teacher to continue teaching when she is obviously pregnant and obviously not married (gay or straight)? Yes, it sure is; if you don’t let her teach, she will have grounds to sue for sexual discrimination based on her maternity status. Plus, it’s a reality that children can see if you take your children to a public playground, restaurant, or museum.
Let’s worry about real, inappropriate behavior, people. Let’s worry about DCPS and PCS employees with a series of inappropriate contact allegations with minors still working among DCPS and PCS children. Let’s worry about teachers and administrators who ignore complaints about bullying behavior in elementary, middle, and high schools…until a student attacks other students or harms her- or himself.
Gay marriage is marriage between two people who happen to be of the same sex. Let’s stop calling it “gay marriage” and just call it “marriage.” Then, people can stop getting up in arms about explaining to their children why Susan and Jill are spouses.
It would go like this, “Susan and Jill love each other just as much as Mommy and Daddy loved each other when we got married. So, they made a promise to stay together forever like we did.” Yes, you will run into problems with this simple statement if you are a divorcee, a former domestic partner in a hetero relationship, or simply a single parent who opted for in-vitro fertilization or surrogacy (to avoid the whole relationship trap). I can’t solve all of the world’s problems.