The Sexist

How to Exhaust Yourself Knitting, With Dr. Laura


Last week, "new feminist" icon Dr. Laura Schlessinger introduced us to her militant guide to gifting over the holiday season. In Dr. Laura's world, women who work for a living are encouraged to spend their free time exhausting themselves by knitting 7-foot table runners for their friends on short notice, and then spending "four hours crocheting around the entire runner twice and adding a fringe to the ends" so that the table blanket you just whipped up not be perceived as overly "plain."

Now you, too, can spend the holiday season sleep-deprived, self-righteous, and schooled in the art of sprucing up table blankets! (And if you don't, you do not truly care about your friends and family). Even gigantic celebrity Dr. Laura can find the time to not sleep and knit instead: "Especially someone like me, everyone says, 'Ohhhh, you're such a big star, how can you have any time to be doing things?' I live to do this sort of stuff."

  • ashley.c

    as someone who is crocheting all my gifts and making them, from found and sales price things (to keep my costs as low as possibly) i have let people know well in advance. if it's not done then it's not done. but i have also been crocheting since early November, and only scarfs so to keep my stress level down. I do agree that I like giving and receiving home made gifts more, but not at the cost of sanity.

  • dr laura schlessinger

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE MENTION and the posting of my YouTube video ( on machine knitting christmas gifts. So many of these wonderful crafts (sewing, weaving, etc.) have been left by the wayside as women have overburdened their schedules. Crafts are most relaxing (zen-like) and gratifying (something to show for it...and give as gifts). Merry Christmas to all! Dr. Laura Schlessinger

  • Melanie

    Knitting looms and machines are cheating! Dr. Laura doesn't really love her family if she used machines instead of doing every stitch by hand!

  • Diaa

    While knitting by machine is usually faster than by hand, many people do not realize that there is often still a good deal of hand techniques needed which take time to learn to do well and execute. It is definitely a unique skill which require a lot of patience and commitment.

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