The Sexist

Personal Information Concerning My Ass

. . . and more! In "Cheap Old Shit v. Ikea," my contribution to the Washington City Paper's first shopping issue, I write about the perks of owning exclusively thrifted furniture—including a perpetually numb butt courtesy of the sunken cushioning in my $20 pleather sofa bed. Plus, other fascinating personal details, like how perpetually grimy my coffee table looks!

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

  • recursiveparadox

    I'd be willing to sacrifice ass feeling for a $20 pleather sofa bed. Hell, I'd go for numb ass and numb legs if it was a $10 one.

    I am poor.

  • Former Staffer

    There's a numb nuts joke here somewhere...

    haven't seen that much pleather since Paul Newman's suit in Slapshot.

  • monkeyrotica

    The primary advantage in pleather is that it doesn't absorb that vaguely sour roommate smell. And those, uh, personal stains come off in a jif, and none's the wiser. Take that, Herculon Sofabed!

  • jules

    I have a tweed sofa-bed loveseat (really, tweed!) It looks like something my grandma owned before moving into that fancy independent-living community. It was $25. Everyone sinks into the dent in the middle of it when they sit down.

    And I wouldn't trade it for a stupid Ikea couch EVER.

  • Coleman

    Is that a cigarette burn?

  • Amanda Hess

    why are all the cheap thrift couches sofa beds?

    and I'm not sure, Coleman. It came broken.

  • Coleman

    Put a nice throw on it. Problem solved.