The Sexist

The Top 5 Abstinence-Only Music Videos


If the Christian Side-Hug has taught us anything, it's that Christians and non-Christians alike can be united by the power of song. Sure, we may not be able to agree on what satire means, or  the reality of the side-hug, or whether or not the side-hug rap is the Modest Proposal of the new millenium. But we can all agree that watching abstinence-only music videos targeted at the youth of America provides an innocent thrill for all. So let's side-hug it out with five more abstinence-y videos. Whet your non-sexual appetite, after the jump.

1. Abstinence-y Track: "Virginity (Vees Up)" by Cindy St.Vil

[youtube:v=Anp5RLgF0Oo]

Plot: Cindy wants to wait until marriage, so she's ecstatic when her guy gets down on one knee—she gets to get it on soon! But not too soon, gentlemen—Cindy breaks it off with her beau when he tries to pressure her into some post-engagement action.

Relevant Lyrics:

No sex before marriage, because Jesus said it
There ain't nothing to debate if Jesus said it.
If she walk out on a date, don't even sweat it.
If he don't wanna wait, then leave, forget it.

2. Abstinence-y Track "That Kind of Girl" and "I Don't Want It" by DC Talk.

[youtube:v=Q2nDPufrAtI]

Plot: In this epic live medley, the men of DC Talk present themselves as perfectly chaste—their dream woman is "virtuous in every way"—but make sure to drop hints that they're still hot-blooded males. "I don't want your sex," they declare. "For now." (Okay, there's not much of a plot here. But what they lack in storyline they make up for in those outfits).

Relevant Lyrics:

I don't want it
Yo I don't want it
Yo I don't want your sex (for now)
Sex!
I don't want it
I don't want it want it
I don't want it 'til we take the vow

3. Abstinence-y Track: "My Body" by Trin-I-Tee 5:7

[youtube:v=CqkeJgFdANc]

Plot: Guy in car tries to get fresh. Cheek-kissing? Leg touching? Close dancing? You have got to be kidding her! Trin-I-Tee smacks him down, lyrically.

Relevant Lyrics:

Who do you think I am? I don't play these games
Not goin' out like that, let me explain
Tryin' to save myself, don't pressure me
My spirit leads me to celibacy

4. Abstinence-y Track: "Ain't No Safe Way" by Michael Sweet

[youtube:v=ffEAmVziRXM]

Plot: A straight-laced Christian boy is nearly led to sin by a hot chick at a drive-in theater. Luckily, the very sight of a condom sends him into a frenzy of disgust, accompanied by Michael Sweet's devilishly chaste guitar licks.

Relevant Lyrics:

Ain't no safe way anymore
You got people with one, two, three and four
Abstinence rules, playin' is for fools
The one who abstains is the one who's cool
There's no safe way

Abstinence-y Track: "Virginity" by TG4


TG4 – Virginity
by lachula

Plot: The girls of TG4 are in a sex education class. They end up teaching their classmates a thing or two about not getting educated in that subject.

Relevant Lyrics:

Can't imagine what it feels like
My friends say it's alright
But then they go and do it all night
But I prefer the married life.

Know any other epic abstinence tracks? File your own additions to the chastity playlist in the comments.

Photo by George Eastman House

  • http://blacksnob.com Danielle Belton

    What? No "Let's Wait Awhile" by a teenage Janet Jackson?

  • http://blacksnob.com Danielle Belton

    Or "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart! Secular artists will sometimes ask you to just not have sex too! LOL!

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess

    Oh man. That Jermaine Stewart track is the fucking jam. I love that song.

  • http://bvikkivintage.blogspot.com becca

    There's a song by Canton Jones with the chorus lyrics "You're cute, but cute enough for my salvation."

    It is worth Googling.

  • Poppy

    At least they all seem to be interested in safe sex! That's a lot more condoms than you usually see in a music video.

  • Amanada

    I absolutely love TG4's song Virginity. That song sends out a good message to our youth. My favorite part of the song is the chorus. "I might let you touch me. I might let you hold me. I might even let you kiss me. But you can not take my virginity." LOVE THIS SONG!!!!

  • http://www.livingdeadgirlz.com Queenzombie

    Allow me to fill in the rest of those TG4 messages...

    "you can touch me, squeeze me, and I'll breathe like a porn star and touch my stomach & bare my flesh, but we're totally not going to get over-excited and accidentally do it!!! Of course not; I mean, we're TEENAGERS, so obviously we have 100% self control! We can just make out, and we don't need to learn sex-ed, and we don't need to maybe keep a condom around, just in case. That would make us SLUTS!

    Sex is lame, anyway, right? Our teen friends told us that. And, let's be honest; our friends who say sex is just "alright, but they do it all night" -- they must be telling us the truth that sex is just something that dumb, unpure people do. I mean, why would they lie to us about it being good? It's not like we're going to judge them & then tell everyone in the world that we think they're loose sluts or anything!"

    *FACE-HAND*

  • R.

    Interestingly enough, Jesus actually never said anything about abstinence. The quotes they hen-peck on that (which are all up for debate anyway, and mainstream Christian denominations don't read them that way) all come from other parts of the Bible. But unless you take the fact that Jesus was supposedly chaste to be an endorsement that everyone should live that way, He was mum on the subject.

  • Kayla

    From the wikipedia page for TG4

    Member Keisha Henry recently made an appearance on the CW reality television show Pussycat Dolls Present: Girlicious.

    Stay classy.

  • http://turkishsummer.blogspot.com/ SaveMyPolarBear

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lU3PEmbiU8w

    Average girl. by Barlowgirl. Somebody sent it to me, that's the only reason I know it. Um, could only find an anime version of it online, but it's the lyrics that are important, right?

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