The Sexist

Sexist Comments of the Week: Perfect Vaginas Edition

Last week, MomLogic.com contributor Allison Henry bravely detailed her battle with vaginal prolapse—or gradually experiencing her vagina falling out of her body. At the end of Henry's tale—after a year of gushing blood, gangrene, and all the insides on the outside—Henry lets us in on her consolation prize. “The experience has been a total nightmare, but I’m happy to say I’m on the mend," Henry wrote. "We just had a cocktail party to celebrate me feeling healthy. And I do have the vagina of a 13-year-old virgin, with a perfect labia, as a bonus."

Henry's prepubescent vaginal joy left some commenters . . . confused. (You didn't think I was going to give up my newfound perfect vagina audience just yet, did you?)

recursiveparadox wonders:

Does that make her 1/4 jailbait now?

jules is getting self-conscious:

jeezus that vag story made me so nauseaus. and why are women so hung up on what their labia look like anyway? is that a thing? should i be thinking about it too??? i thought my vag was just fine but now i can’t stop thinking about the fact that my labia might be a little droopy or something!

nick wants to know what the point of a pretty vagina is if you're not going to show it off to all your girlfriends:

+1 on the befuddlement re:labia “beauty.”

Knowing that other external beauty efforts (fashion, makeup, hair, etc.), in practice, is really about how other women see you rather than men, where does all this private-parts-vanity come from?

Smashy Smashy turns to WikiAnswers for some clues:

So you weren’t willing to google “the vagina of a 13-year-old virgin” but i was. This is one of the first things to pop up:

Q: How deep is a 15 year old girl vagina if she’s not a virgin?

A: The vagina doesn’t look like a balloon. It has no far side wall. It can accomodate a very large penis. If a guy had a 12 inch (or longer) penis the vagina would expand to accept his size. There’s no way to measure a vagina.

So yeah, you were better off not googling. I’m going to scrub my mind now. I don’t even understand how we got to “THE VAGINA DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A BALLOON.

Nikki never knew that 13 was the best year for vaginas:

The husband bought her a cheerleading outfit? That is super creepy, he wants to dress his wife up so her looks match the teen vag, gag! I hope that couple will be able to leave the bedroom eventually, I mean who knew 13 year old vag’s were so fuckable.

ssickn, on the other hand, sounds convinced:

i think i’de nail a milf with a 13y/o vag, sounds interesting and it’s like nailing a milf and her teen daughter at the same time and thats always a plus hahahaha

G introduces us to "vaginecro":

And where exactly do these teenage vagina’s come from? does this mean her husband has to be a vaginecro now?

Emanon is thinking of the children:

I truly hope that the 13-year-old’s parents don’t read this. Some lady dressing up in a cheerleading outfit to take the virginity of her new vagina isn’t something they would ever want to know about their dead daughter’s genetalia.

Photo by SLPTWRK, Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

  • Comrade Al Gonzales

    Why isn't this statutory rape? A 13-year-old vagina cannot consent to sex. This couple should have to wait five years until the vagina is old enough to consent to sex.

    Someday this will become the au courant elective surgery for women for whom a boob job isn't enough & for the sick men who drive such an industry. If we had cloning, you could grow your own 13-year-old vagina. Sick.

...