The Sexist

The Worst Sexy Halloween Costumes: Sexy Male Edition

Andrew Sullivan crashed our servers this morning when he linked to our roundup of the baddest sexy Halloween costumes. The worst of the slutty holiday get-ups are generally reserved for the ladies. But surely, Sullivan deserves an awful sexy Halloween costume of his own, no? Thanks to 3Wishes.com, men don't have to settle for lame penis joke costumes on Oct. 31: they, too, can join in the fun of inappropriate public erotica with the help of some greasy abs, a Chippendale bow-tie, and a whole lot of manpris.

First up: THE "SEXY FOOTBALL PLAYER":

sexyman4

Ready, set, manpris!

THE "SEXY PIRATE" COSTUME:

sexypirate

Arg! Manpris!

THE "SEXY COP" COSTUME:

sexycop2

I love how they saved all the manpris costumes to the same male model. Work it!

THE "ANOTHER SEXY COP" OUTFIT:

sexycop

I can tell by the two-day stubble and suggestive shoulder straps that this cop is meant to be sexy, but he's not wearing manpris, so I'm not really buying it.

THE OBLIGATORY "SEXY RACIALLY INSENSITIVE COSTUME" [OK: "SEXY RACIST"]:

sexymanindian

GAH. NO. (Buy one in every gender!)

THE "SEXY PENIS JOKE" COSTUME:

sexyman5

Equal parts gleaming muscles and dick joke, it's the ultimate male Halloween costume!

  • http://blogs.chicagoreader.com/chicagoland/ whet moser

    The sexy fireman costume looks like a sexy repurposed Mountie costume.

  • jules

    @whet moser: HAHA, so true! Only the Mountie costume doesn't come with a matching themed man-thong!

    Or does it?

  • sock puppet

    It has the faux horse attachments such that it looks like he's riding....

  • Karen

    Not that I can tell which people the costume is trying to exploit, but "SEXY RACIALLY INSENSITIVE" is quite a clunker, don't you think? Lady-ball up and say SEXY RACIST.

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess

    Good point. SEXY RACIST it is!

  • Roman Espejo

    Spoiled Rotten Doggies now offers matching sexy owner and pet costumes. AP also conducted a timely poll on whether pet owners will dress their four-legged friends in costumes this year.

    More can be found here: http://blogs.journalism.cuny.edu/interactive2010/2009/10/16/old-dog-new-tricks-sexy-pet-and-owner-halloween-costumes/

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