The Sexist

The Anatomy of a Tucker Max Joke

fat

In a promotional blitz for his film, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, Tucker Max has published a series of comedic "facts" to help publicize the IHTSBIH way of life. "Blind girls never see you coming," reads one insight; "The best thing about fat girls is heart disease," reads another. These "facts" have been deemed too offensive for ad space by at least one ad agency and the Chicago Transit Authority. But for every feminist spoilsport who finds Max's facts vile, there's a fan willing to defend the jokes as just plain hilarious.

I have one big problem with the "but it's just funny!" defense. If an appreciation for Max's "facts" requires only a sense of humor, and not latent misogyny, racism, or homophobia, why are his fans willing to listen to the exact same joke over and over and over again? It's the same fucking joke.


Today, I clicked refresh on Tucker Max's Web several dozen times in an effort to distill Max's comedy down to seven easy-to-learn formulas. Now, you too can become a brilliant college humorist with a true ear for real comedy! Just insert deaf-girl-joke here, aspiring Maxes!:

1. The "Disability / Body Type" joke (by far the most common).

* Formula: [ comment on a woman's disability / height / size] + [sexual pun / assault inference / expression of disgust (explicit)] x [expression of disgust (implied)].

Variation: "Blind"

#7 Blind girls never see you coming.

#13 Blind people hate electric cars.

#29 Bros Before Hos: Unless she’s blind.

Variation: "Deaf"

#6 Deaf girls never hear you coming.

#15 Deaf people hate the Verizon guy.

#25 Ever heard a deaf girl come? Neither has she.

Variation: "Midget"

# 1 Midgets have shallow vaginas.

#11 Midget jokes are beneath us.

#30 Bros Before Hos: Unless she’s a midget.

Variation: "Fat"

#3 Fat girls are not real people.

#19 The best thing about fat girls is heart disease.

2. The "Challenging Feminist Definitions" joke:

* Formula: [feminist trope] + [misogyny] + [denial].

#8 It’s not misogyny if you hate EVERYONE.

#22 Sexism isn’t the same as misogyny, you stupid bitch.

#27 Bitches are cunts.

3. The "Mexican" joke.

* Formula: ["Mexicans"] + [are / are not] + [something in Spanish].

#2 Drunk Mexicans are not your “amigos."

4. "Women are Sluts (Also, Homeless People)" jokes.

* Formula: [ women / homeless people] + [are] + [sluts].

#10 There’s at least one slut in every bachelorette party.

#16 Every woman has her price.

#12 Strippers will not tolerate disrespect (HAHA, just kidding!)

#21 Whores fuck for money, sluts fuck for free.

#23 Girls Night Out = Bathroom BJ.

#20 Bums will fuck anything.

5. The "Gay" joke:

* Formula: [Thing] + [is] + [gay]

#24 Weddings are gay.


6. The "Violence Against Women" joke:

* Formula: [Universally recognized bad thing] + [surprise reversal] x ["edge"] x ["shock value"] = [Family Guy]

#4 Scott Peterson killed his pregnant wife. But not in a funny way.


7. The "Science" Joke

* Formula: [dismissal] + [thing girls like] + [hopefully conscious reversal of underlying scientific fact] = [actually kinda funny!]

#9 If it has sugar in it, it’s not a real shot.

  • http://recursiveparadox.dreamwidth.org/ recursiveparadox

    It's worse than that. These fanboys and fangirls of Tucker Max assume that humor is the responsibility of the audience.

    Turns out, it's the comedian's job to make people laugh, not our job to laugh at him or her.

    More on this: http://genderbitch.wordpress.com/2009/09/22/humor-as-a-shield/

  • marky mark

    Here goes Amanda again. She can't gain any attention from her normal articles, so she uses Tucker Max. Pretty sad if you ask me, no one would even know who she was if it wasn't for Tucker Max. She should be thankful he exists.

    Maybe if you saw the movie, those jokes would be put into context. Tucker is bored with normal girls, so he starts going after "specialties". Film opens with him hooking up with a deaf girl, later he hooks up with a "little person" and it finishes with a blind chick walking by, and Tucker grins at his friends and goes after her.

  • Animal Farm

    Seriously, what is it going to take? First, everyone hated your stupid book Tucker and no one bought it. Then we made fun of your awful movie. Then your audience was made to look like a bunch of racist trolls. Then your ads got banned TWICE. Then they got vandalized in Little Italy.

    What is it going to take for you to get it? We don't like you and want you to go away.

  • Leo

    So in other words marky mark, your infantile mind cannot comprehend that objectifying women is insidious.

    Typical Tucker Max fan: Brainless jerks worshipping a socially clueless alpha-male-wannabe.

  • Jem

    let me help you dumb cunts out. the formula for an angry cunt like amanda goes like this:

    dumb cunt morality soap box speech + annoying cunt grade school sarcasm + holier-than-thou attitude + dumb cunt audience of cat herders = Feminist humor

    now that's a LOLCAT! :D

  • Jeff

    don't forget to download the new anti-feminism guide over at manhood101 d o t com! it gives you tons of helpful tips to eradicate feminism :)

  • Sally

    I just find it extremely entertaining that you all get so offended by his jokes and then proceed to make a huge fuss about them. Don't you realize he doesn't give a damn; look at the things he says. You getting upset only fuels the fire....good job.

    VIVA TUCKER MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • kza

    I need a website to learn how to be a man.

  • kza_daddy

    Well you already look like a man. But that's only because you're a russian bitch with a beard. Tell your dildo I said hi!

  • Over Here Dude

    In all truth, Amanda, you and your kind invented this asshole. He lives in your world. He thrives on sexually unbound women, and maybe his prey thrive on him too. Don't lament what you should have seen coming had you only bothered to connect the dots. Leave them alone to their pitiful selves.

  • kza

    @my daddy

    You touched me growing up. Pedo. And I'm a guy. Gay. That's manly.

  • marky mark

    "Seriously, what is it going to take? First, everyone hated your stupid book Tucker and no one bought it."

    By "everyone", you mean you and your fellow feminist bloggers and commenters. I don't think Tucker had you in mind when he was writing his book.

    "Then we made fun of your awful movie."

    Again, I doubt anyone expected your kind to watch the movie (although I bet a few of you do)

    "Then your audience was made to look like a bunch of racist trolls. Then your ads got banned TWICE."

    Yeah, and in the process, Tucker gained national attention via the media, hooray! Instead of just getting publicity in Chicago, he got publicity across the entire country. Feminists win again!

    "Then they got vandalized in Little Italy."

    Yeah and the only people who even mentioned that story are feminist websites and twitterers. Congratulations

    "What is it going to take for you to get it? We don’t like you and want you to go away."

    Do you honestly think Tucker cares one fucking bit if you don't like him or not? That's why he is who he is, because he doesn't care. The more you preach out against him, the happier he will be.

  • The Deconstruction Guy

    "Seriously, what is it going to take? First, everyone hated your stupid book Tucker and no one bought it."

    By "everyone", you mean you and your fellow feminist bloggers and commenters. I don't think Tucker had you in mind when he was writing his book.

    "Then we made fun of your awful movie."

    Again, I doubt anyone expected your kind to watch the movie (although I bet a few of you do)

    "Then your audience was made to look like a bunch of racist trolls. Then your ads got banned TWICE."

    Yeah, and in the process, Tucker gained national attention via the media, hooray! Instead of just getting publicity in Chicago, he got publicity across the entire country. Feminists win again!

    "Then they got vandalized in Little Italy."

    Yeah and the only people who even mentioned that story are feminist websites and twitterers. Congratulations

    "What is it going to take for you to get it? We don’t like you and want you to go away."

    Do you honestly think Tucker cares one fucking bit if you don't like him or not? That's why he is who he is, because he doesn't care. The more you preach out against him, the happier he will be.

  • mccoymountain

    “Seriously, what is it going to take? First, everyone hated your stupid book Tucker and no one bought it.”

    By “everyone”, you mean you and your fellow feminist bloggers and commenters. I don’t think Tucker had you in mind when he was writing his book.

    “Then we made fun of your awful movie.”

    Again, I doubt anyone expected your kind to watch the movie (although I bet a few of you do)

    “Then your audience was made to look like a bunch of racist trolls. Then your ads got banned TWICE.”

    Yeah, and in the process, Tucker gained national attention via the media, hooray! Instead of just getting publicity in Chicago, he got publicity across the entire country. Feminists win again!

    “Then they got vandalized in Little Italy.”

    Yeah and the only people who even mentioned that story are feminist websites and twitterers. Congratulations

    “What is it going to take for you to get it? We don’t like you and want you to go away.”

    Do you honestly think Tucker cares one fucking bit if you don’t like him or not? That’s why he is who he is, because he doesn’t care. The more you preach out against him, the happier he will be.

  • PMCDonnel4

    “Seriously, what is it going to take? First, everyone hated your stupid book Tucker and no one bought it.”

    By “everyone”, you mean you and your fellow feminist bloggers and commenters. I don’t think Tucker had you in mind when he was writing his book.

    “Then we made fun of your awful movie”

    Again, I doubt anyone expected your kind to watch the movie (although I bet a few of you do)

    “Then your audience was made to look like a bunch of racist trolls. Then your ads got banned TWICE.”

    Yeah, and in the process, Tucker gained national attention via the media, hooray! Instead of just getting publicity in Chicago, he got publicity across the entire country. Feminists win again!

    “Then they got vandalized in Little Italy.”

    Yeah and the only people who even mentioned that story are feminist websites and twitterers. Congratulations

    “What is it going to take for you to get it? We don’t like you and want you to go away.”

    Do you honestly think Tucker cares one fucking bit if you don’t like him or not? That’s why he is who he is, because he doesn’t care. The more you preach out against him, the happier he will be.

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  • http://foboblo.com Kat

    First I thought Tucker's PR team had quadruple posted, but apparently they just got lazy and C&P'ed the same reply under different names? Do they consider that reply a totally awesome burn?

  • Jbird

    Meh, Tucker Max fans lack creativity AND lack balls. No surprise here!

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess

    Anatomy of a Tucker Max Fan Blog Comment: [feminist] + [cunt] + [Ctrl c] + [Ctrl v]

  • Funny

    What I find most hilarious about the Tucker Max fans that flock here to call Amanda and others offended by him cunts and bitches is that they are guilty of the same thing they accuse us of.

    For example, they say "if you don't like it, don't watch it/read it/talk about it" etc.

    To them I say, if you are just as offended by feminists (oh I'm sorry "cunts", I should use your lingo) as we are by Tucker...then why are you reading every single post Amanda writes about it?

    She might be giving Tucker attention by writing about it, but you're giving HER attention by coming here. Based on the comments, her most popular posts are the ones she writes about Tucker--why would she stop writing about him when you're giving her all this free traffic?

    It's a vortex of hatred, wherein we hate you, you hate us, and neither one of us can stop talking about the other.

    Fascinating!

  • Utena

    Tucker Max is a douche. Who cares about him anyway? Dane Cook, your douche ass has been officially replaced with this douche.

  • http://www.maddox.xmission.com Hate you all

    First off;

    You humor "equations" are actually quite useless, as most people are aware that humor is created by the juxtaposition of two competing ideas. In Tucker's case, the idea of what is normally socially accepted, and what isn't.

    Tucker is an awful human being; something he is obviously aware of. He makes decisions and acts on thoughts most people would dismiss as near psychotic or at best antisocial. However; women still sleep with him. A lot, apparently. Who does that say more about?

    I've watched most women I know make pathetic decisions when it comes to men; ignoring the nice guys, the employed, the guys not just looking to use them and put another mark on the board. I myself at a point became an "asshole" and used women to get sex, and then drop them when I was done. I got sick of it after a short period of time. Not because I felt bad; but because I was disgusted by how far some of them were willing to let me go. Don't forget; Tucker may be a piece of shit, but the women he does this to aren't exactly looking for Mr. Right. You go to bars and get drunk, and don't expect some half-wit ass to try to fuck you and your friends? Get a grip.

    I'm not a fan of Tucker Max, but the women who wrote this is an idiot.

    The problem is society, social norms, sex laws, and all sorts of other bullshit. The problem is overgrown man-children and women who want to get a piece of ass at night and be respected in the morning. If you like to sleep around - OWN IT! At least Tucker is honest with himself. You can't sleep with a different guy every week of the year and think you're an innocent.

    Anyways, you're all morons, Tucker's an ass - sluts get what they deserve, and so do sleazy dudes. Ask Tucker if he's ever gotten an STD.

  • CherriSpryte

    As much as I'd like to castrate most Tucker Max fans (yes, I am the misandrist your frat bros warned you about), I've gotta point out that giving Tucker Max any coverage at all - even as excellent a takedown as this is - is a bad idea. He's offensive, and he's an idiot, obviously. But, like Sarah Palin, the attention only makes him grow stronger. Amanda, you write incredibly well about so many other things, don't waste your time with this schmuck and his rabid followers.

  • MizJenkins

    I pity the poor cunts who gave birth to you guys. Truly.

  • Toddy

    Well, I'm sure Tucker appreciates the free advertising on the webspace you paid for with your own hard-earned money. Way to show him! You go, girl!

  • Napalm Nacey

    I don't know who I find more hilarious... The angry dudes that drop all the misogynist slurs, testerical over the fact that we don't find TM funny and can boil his entire schtick down to a few simple formulas, or the guys that start pontificating about the comedy involved and write big long wordy essays in the comment section like they're dissecting Proust. But they're not. They're writing that much. Over TUCKER MAX. That's like writing an in-depth restaurant review about a Big Mac value meal.

    Rock on, Amanda. Keep scaring the insecure little boys that cling to this shit.

  • Rob

    Tucker Max is a cunt.

  • CalmDown

    So everyone gets all worked up about what is justa demeaning book which acknowledges how demeaning it is. If you hate it so much ignore it! I've read all his stories and personally i find they mostly leave me in tears, not because i'm some kind of chauvinist but largely because its hilarious that anybody would go to the lengths he has. In the same vein i enjoy South Park which is at times equally as offensive but to jump on a giant hate wagon accomplishes nothing. Neither this book nor pornography nor any of the other flame brands most people flock to are all that demeaning to women when considered in their context as simply someone using shock value to produce entertainment (although i support South Park in that there is generally a very good message behind the offense which is ususally actually a very good point). If you want to combat the oppression of women look to greater evils such as oppressive regimes, religious extremists or actual sexual predators. You can close a tucker max book and turn off a tv but these people can't ignore their circumstances.

  • YouWontGetIt

    What do you despise, by this you are truly known.

  • http://genderbitch.wordpress.com/ recursiveparadox

    Tucker Max is an offense troll. Which means that he's the lowest skill level of troll (offense trolling is easy, it's like tripping in the dark, you can do it by accident). Shame that people's standards are so low that they'd actually enjoy such lack of skill.

    Read Jonathon Swift's A Modest Proposal. Now that is a skilled troll. Tucker Max is just street garbage in comparison.

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  • ry

    Okay, the guy doesn't make me laugh(I chuckled at #25. New variant on the an old them, to me anyways), I'd never heard of him before either, but....
    1) Margret Cho. "In every group of girls there's the smart one, the sweet one, and then there's the ho. And, no, it doesn't count if your last name is Ho." Why funny? Why Tucker Max not funny for same joke?
    2) Daman Wayans. Handy Man. Same questions.

    My point is that comedy, at least since Carlin anyway, is meant to be irreverent. Someone's sacred cow is supposed to get gored. That's the whole bit behind, 'Capital A Art is subversive.' I don't much like it when my sacred cow is annihilated. But, I'm often told I have to bear it.

    Not saying you can't complain about the purile hack, whose audience is likely the beer and bong crowd, but you should be a little self-conscious of the thread of hypocracy involved---which should not be taken as screaming your hypocrites, really, just pointing out that it kinda is hypocritical to, say, champion the Vagina Monologues or Margret Cho because their stuff offends the 'right people' but be absolutely torqued off because now you're 'the right people' for the TM crowd(spit).

    Just sayin'...
    --ry

  • footnote

    Saw some of the posters up this weekend about blind and deaf girls in DC. I think one could make an excellent case that the posters violate the DC Human Rights Act when posted in a public space. The DCHRA makes it illegal for businesses to:

    "print, circulate, post...a statement, advertisement, or sign which indicates that ...that an individual’s patronage of, or presence at, a place of public accommodation is objectionable, unwelcome, unacceptable, or undesirable [because of gender, disability, etc]."

    DC Code 2-1402.31

    Of course there could be some serious 1st Amendment counter-arguments.

  • Jem

    Awesome post Amanda!!! It's pretty pathetic that some people can only find pseudo-"happiness" in the pain and suffering of others.

  • Flex

    @ry

    The key word you used was "subversive." Offensive =/= subversive. The thing about Tucker Max is that his humor actually reinforces the social power structures we have now, so he's the exact opposite of subversive.

    Just because you're being offensive and puerile doesn't mean you're subverting any paradigms. It might just mean you're a giant asshole who makes jokes that perpetuate uneven power relationships.

  • http://daisysdeadair.blogspot.com/ DaisyDeadhead

    Amanda, great post! Those formulas can also be used for any number of FAMILY GUY episodes! Thanks for the handy-dandy guide.

    And, what Flex said. What is "subversive" about upholding the status quo?

  • http://www.boxofficepsychics.com Jesse Custer

    Brilliant point regarding subversive versus offensive. Eye of the bull, Flex.

  • Maggie

    Please don't think I'm on the side of all the people being assholes in these comments, but I'm not sure why you haven't classed all the jokes under number 2 the same way as the science one. They're... kind of identical. In terms of, you know, irony and stuff. It's fairly obvious.

    (PS no but really sorry about the assholes. Sometimes I think Tucker Max is a nihilist performing an elaborate satire that his entire audience has missed the point of.)

  • Holly

    I keep seeing comments saying to just ignore him, "don't give him the attention he wants". But I am happy someone is taking the time to inform people of what is going on. So he is getting more press, he was getting press before. Not everyone realizes that it is more then not thinking the joke is funny, the other side of the story needs to be out there.

  • TJ

    Am I just slow or just really old at the age of 32? I have never heard of this guy before. But at the same time, I'm a lesbian, so it was probably not meant for me to know who this schmuck is...

  • OHplease

    One thing we can be sure of: Tucker Max fans clearly don't get laid, hence, with luck, their useless genes won't get passed onto the next generation. maybe we can make up some "Yay Tucker Max" badges and tell them that it makes them totally macho and sexy to wear them - they're dumb enough, they'll fall for it - so women know who to stay away from them. Their useless, let's help them become extinct too!

  • FuckTucker

    Truly, Tucker Max is a complete cunt. One day, I hope he gets anally raped in prison.

  • TDG

    I hope they serve beer in hell fact #22: Unfortunately for him, Tucker Max is smart enough to understand how retarded his fans are.

  • Suebob

    Wow. I'm glad I am unfamilia3 with this guy and his work.

  • TMIAD

    I nominate Tucker Max for the biggest douche in the universe. The thing about Tucker Max is that in his stories (whether or not they are fact or fiction) is that you get the sense that he's not a very nice person to anyone. He's selfish and they all kiss his ass trying to be buddy's with him. People like him don't have friends that stay around. They are drinking partners. People to watch you as lose control or black out, spectators, an audience. That's all he wants anyway, someone to watch him be a miserable prick.

    That said, I think some of his stories are kind of funny but he tries to claim they are fact and not embellished and you have to wonder if he actually believes these things happened.

  • http://genderbitch.wordpress.com/ recursiveparadox

    @Maggie:

    "Sometimes I think Tucker Max is a nihilist performing an elaborate satire that his entire audience has missed the point of."

    If this is true then he's one of the most brilliant men out there. XD

  • Meg

    LOL @ #12-15. Are *ALL* these pro-Tucker Max folks the same person? It would explain a lot.

  • kryston

    Hahaha. Let me just say that I LOVE Tucker Max! I'm a girl and I loved his book! I will definitely defend him on it because the book was hilarious! So what? he tells it like it is so get over it! O and btw this is the first i have replied to this so im not re posting my thoughts(meg). The more you say he is sexist the more you are advertising him. He doesnt give 2 shits about what you say about him and he isnt going to start caring anytime soon.

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