The Sexist

Original CockBib Inventor Finds Knock-Offs “Offensive, Rude, Degrading”

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Things are heating up between rival oral sex novelty item marketers CockBib.com, which bills its product as "the original cock bib," and CockBibCrazy.com, which claims to market the "Real CockBib." Jon, CockBib.com proprietor, is familiar with CockBibCrazy's work. He is not impressed. "I originally came up with the idea strictly as a gag gift, like the kinda things you would find at Spencers novelties," Jon writes in an e-mail. "He has turned our fun party gag gift into an offensive, rude, and degrading item."

Jon isn't the only one feeling the blow job accessory market squeeze. The creator of CockBibCrazy has carved out a section of his one Web site devoting to discrediting CockBibs.com's own line of ball shields. He writes:

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CockBibCrazy products are marketed at $14.99 ("You spend that on takeout food!" the proprietor writes). CockBib.com products are currently selling for the bargain price of $4.99. And CockBib.com's "lame saying"? "The Customer Always Cums First."

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Meanwhile, it appears that CockBibCrazy.com is running with "If It Ain't A CockBib, It Aint Shit." To each his own.

Jon promises CockBib purists that his line of original CockBibs "will continue to grow as I come up with funny catch phrases, that are non offensive, and non degrading for ladies." CockBibCrazy, on the other hand, shows no signs of shying away from his dubious reputation among women:

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