The Sexist

Sexist Comments of the Week: The Problem With Black Women Edition

Last week, Jimi Izrael wrote an essay on the Root telling black women to "get real," give up the search for their own Barack, and stop valuing their educations so much. Since I'm not into sexist drivel disguised as relationship advice, I disagreed—and commenters weighed in with their own thoughts on education, elitism, and "bitches." Plus, commenters call my education level "fluffy" (B.A. English, '07), my disagreement with Izrael "so sensitive," and me? "Amy."

The comments of the week, on "Why Black Women Shouldn't Go to College":

Victor says:

Not to ask a stupid question, but why does he assume black women have to limit their choices to black men? It seems a bit antiquated to me, as pairing off has become more and more based on education and career ambitions than race these days.

The days of an educated man wanting to settle down with a high-school educated waitress are long gone. I wouldn’t even consider dating a woman without an advanced degree, in a real field (read: history and english are fluffy and do not command respect).

This only seems like an issue if:
1 – you refuse to date outside your race
2 – You’re uneducated, black and male and you have issues with potential partners being successful.

Bitter Elitist writes:

Victor: As a SBW-attorney #2 is his problem. #1 is NOT mine.

There were 5-6 black women, for every black man at my law school. Seems like black women aren’t/don’t have a problem.

kza writes:

Victor. You realize that people can be intelligent without a advanced degree right? You come off as pretty elitest there.

Victor writes:

kza – yeah… so?

I didn’t say that I was using education as a proxy for intelligence. I stated that I take educational level (and have a minimum set) in to account. I happen to also require intelligence, and an entire bevy of other variables. In fact, I’m extraordinarily lucky to have found someone who fits my myriad requirements.

Whats your point?

Jennifer writes:

I wish to God somebody would bring this article to Mrs. Obama’s attention and she would denounce it as the trash it is. And what’s with this “love came first” crap? Last I checked, Michelle Obama had a helluva career before and all during her marriage to the president – including now, as the First Lady.

Usually Jimi’s “bitches ain’t shit” manifestos at least make sense. This one was obviously written after he got yet another child support court over, because it’s even longer and more incoherent than usual.

furious_styles writes:

Did we read the same article?

I didn’t hear him suggesting that black women have ruined the race by the act of going to college or getting careers. It’s not that black men don’t want women who are educated and successful (as a black man that is what I have been used to in my past partners). But being a successful black woman doesn’t automatically make you marriageable if you , at one extreme, are too damn goal-oriented and mercenary and see a black man as an item on the checklist along with the house, car, and big-screen tv, or at the other, have a chip on your shoulder. That’s just for any person.

jimi izrael writes:

Hi Amy.

I’m always really flattered when other writers write about stuff I write, and this is no exception — thanks so much for reading and taking time to give your take. I don’t agree, but that hardly matters. You made a new fan.

Keep fighting the good fight.

Best and all,

jimi

kza writes:

Surely furious_styles isn’t Jimi. But I am still wondering who Amy is…

Jennifer writes:

“Amy, Amanda, Antoinette…look, I gave the bitch a compliment, okay? That’s why you ain’t gonna get a Barack or a Denzel. Shoot, you think Barack didn’t call Michelle Malina every once in a while?”

Patrick Salem writes:

Ms. Hess,

I’ve known jimi izrael for years and can tell you that he’s really not so bad a guy who loves the haters so much that he makes it a point to be that oppositional character. Basically, he’s the Black man version of Stephen Colbert. It’s all really an act. The key line in his piece was the plug for his soon-to-be released book The Denzel Principle.

Don’t be so sensitive: it’s just jimi being jimi.

Jennifer writes:

As for this idea that black women won’t marry “below” their station, somebody apparently forgot to tell my parents. My mom (the one w/the degree and the MUCH bigger paycheck) is from not one, but two fairly prominent families in our city. She spent 13 years in the best private schools in the state. She met my dad – who grew up with less than nothing, if that’s possible – when he moved to Texas carrying the raggediest, mismatched “luggage” you’ve ever seen in your life. She’d already been divorced from my dad (the son of the Hon. Rev. So-and-So), so most men would have – and did – write her off because she had a child. So if black men won’t date women with children and black women won’t dated busted-ass dudes w/no hem in their pants, how are my parents coming up on 22 (23?) years of marriage?

If we’re not dating you, it’s not because your car is raggedy. It’s not because you don’t have a degree. It’s because you don’t have a car or a degree and you obviously resent us for having one, the other, or both. That’s not my problem – that’s yours. “Ooh, that bitch paid her rent on time this month! She thank she don’t meed a brotha!” Whatever. I’m sick of these bitch made black men whose feel like they can pick and choose which women are WORTHY of respect and then get pissed off when they’re called on it. Man up, and you’ll be treated thusly.

Frank writes:

Hey, lets not forget that most black women, educated or not, like thugs away.

Comments

  1. #1

    Amanda, if you don't mind me asking, which college did you attend?

  2. #2

    Now now Amanda, no need to be bitter... I'm sure someone out there could still fall for an English major. (probably an art history major...) :)

  3. #3

    Come on, Victor, even I have standards.

  4. #4

    This is all ever-so humorous to me. I've been on BOTH sides of the planet and I have to say that Black American women (not all, but a hell of a considerable amount) are the ONLY women I've ever encountered who are sour about Black men. I was actually about to drop my Filipina due to some disagreements when I was re-united with an ex. Things were refreshing until she asked me what had been going on for the past five years. I was in the Eastern Hemisphere for 2.5 years. She instantly displayed the "Angry Black Woman Syndrome" and it instantly killed everything that made her such a wonderful woman. There went the chance to win one of us back. Anger isn't very attractive. Worrying about the current state of affairs between Black women and Black men isn't attractive, either. When did love develop an ethnicity? Needless to say, I'm still with my Pinay and we're stronger than ever.

  5. #5

    This is one of those conversations that we need to have "in house" - in all Black spaces, and NOT in front of Caucasians (no offense).

    This is just giving aid and comfort to the racists, and making Black people look stupid in front of the other races.

    Besides the fact, this alleged "marriage crisis" DOES NOT EXIST AMONG REAL WORLD BLACK PEOPLE - generally speaking, sistas who are single are single BY CHOICE, and sistas who want to find a husband (and have REALISTIC standards) can find one!

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